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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Snoring FIL AIBU

274 replies

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:21

We're on holiday staying in a lodge with PILs. We have two dds, the walls are paper thin.

FIL snores, omg it is loud, like a foghorn going off all night . MIL is 'used to it' and they both lie in bed until 9.30 each morning. I'm totally slee deprived as currently up listening to FIL snoring every night!

I'm up with the two dcs at 6.30am as they are early risers. I got annoyed yesterday because I was so tired and said it was because FIL was snoring all night. Response to this was 'well I can't help it' and both PILs got angry with me. I've not said anything since. Dh couldn't get time off work so he's not here to back me up.

AIBU to leave this holiday early? My dcs are having a good time but after six days of no sleep I'm struggling to function! I'm also pissed off with the selfish attitude that they lie in bed everyday while I'm up early with the kids. I also do all the driving cooking and they haven't lifted a finger with dcs!

OP posts:

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:23

I'm convinced his nose will blow off his snoring is that loud!!!!!

OP posts:

Hummingbird1950 · 23/08/2021 04:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:28

Thank you, I can't believe how loud his snoring is! I really never ever ever want to come on holiday with them again.

OP posts:

Cattitudes · 23/08/2021 04:28

Just go home, it is not working out. When were you due to leave? Alternatively ask them to take the children out to a park so you can get a nap. I would get dh to discuss sleep apnea with his dad as it can be a substantial health risk and is treatable.

Hummingbird1950 · 23/08/2021 04:29

Don't think you can moan about their lie ins though . It's their holiday too. They're not the ones with little children. You're not their skivvy and they're not your babysitter. But they should watch them a bit at some point during the day/eve so you can sleep, considering it's FIL keeping you awake.

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:30

They won't do anything with dcs at all!! FIL can't 'keep up' with them and they don't enjoy going on the beach. I haul all the buckets, spades, stuff with me from the car onto the beach in my own with dvs and PILs go off to have a cream tea.

I'm exhausted.

OP posts:

Hummingbird1950 · 23/08/2021 04:31

I'm at the stage in life where I think it's too short to be miserable and I'd not live, however temporarily, with a snorer.

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:31

Dh paid for their holiday BTW so I'm not being ungrateful.

OP posts:

Hummingbird1950 · 23/08/2021 04:33

Next time choose better holiday companions. Choosing PIL was a mistake.

Mintjulia · 23/08/2021 04:34

But if FIL snores and MIL isn't bothered by it, I doubt they think about it anymore, and he isn't doing it on purpose. If it's their holiday, I'm not surprised they don't get up early either.

Have you tried saying 'It's your turn to cook/drive today'

I don't think you would be unreasonable to go home. Being dog-tired is awful. Drive home carefully.

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:37

Yes big mistake on my part. It sounded like a good idea as MIL offered to help with dcs. It hasn't worked our the way I expected.

OP posts:

Kinsters · 23/08/2021 04:37

Would earplugs help? Otherwise I'd say, yes, leave early. Why are you even on holiday with them if they don't want to play with their grandkids and DH can't be there? Sounds like everyone is getting what they want except you!

Kinsters · 23/08/2021 04:39

Crosspost - in that case I'd cut your losses and head home. If the DC are old enough to understand/be upset then make it up to them with some fun day trips if you're able to.

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 04:40

It sounded like a good idea at the time but yes that's how it feels. Everyone is having a great time except me!

Glad the dcs are having a good time but I'm so grumpy and skeep deprived!

OP posts:

Catflapkitkat · 23/08/2021 04:48

To be honest it sounds like a crap holiday for you. I would call it a day. It's not too going to get better is it ?

Earplugs may help cut out some of the noise but loud snoring is a slow form of torture. At least suggest they make a meal especially as your MIL said she would help out with the children. Call her out on it.

How long are you booked in for?

Pixxie7 · 23/08/2021 05:00

I can understand how you feel but not sure that he can help his snoring. It sounds as if you took your in-laws away as baby sitters though. They should definitely be helping out though, but they should be able to lie in if they want to.

lonelylou09 · 23/08/2021 05:08

My other half snores something terrible and I'm partially deaf so I know he's loud. He wakes me up sometimes. I've gone through so many sleepless nights and he wonders why I'm angry all the nice xt day. Wax ear plugs really do help as there probably isn't anything else to do other than go home early

Icecreamsoda99 · 23/08/2021 05:21

Silicone ear plugs, get them in Boots, I used to date a horrific snorer. How old are the DCs? Could you retire to bed with a migraine and leave PILs to it for an afternoon?

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 23/08/2021 05:45

I'm staying at my mothers at the moment, the walls are paper thin and the snoring is unreal, it's like a horrible grunting noise, so loud, drives me nuts! Anyway, what is really helping is having the fan on in my room, it provides a noise that seems to drown out so much other stuff and I haven't heard her once! It's bliss! It's just a cheapy, 10 quid out tesco, maybe pick one up?

Ellabella222 · 23/08/2021 05:45

Yes go home.

Morechocolatethanbarbara · 23/08/2021 05:51

Your DH has done a right number on you hasn't he?

He gets a week of peace and quiet at home, whereas you have to spend a week with his parents and DC, being everyone's skivvy, getting no sleep and I bet when you return he'll expect you to crack on with all the cleaning, washing and holiday unpacking etc and be grateful to him because you had a "holiday" and he missed out.

Also, he'll score brownie points with his parents for paying for their holiday without having to do any of the hard work!

Leave. This is not enjoyable for you, it's not a holiday for you and next year make sure you DH takes the kids alone for a week's "holiday" with his parents whilst you stay at home and relax on your own (getting some proper sleep!)

Marni83 · 23/08/2021 06:01

I’m guessing you simply do not have a good relationship with them anyway given the way you all behave and communicate with each other.

How long left to go

Marni83 · 23/08/2021 06:05

How old are they?

KatherineJaneway · 23/08/2021 06:15

Rather than going home, why not see if you can rescue the situation first especially as your ds are having a great time. Try ear plugs and a white noise app to help you sleep.

I don't think you can complain about them laying in, it is their holiday after all and certainly when I was on holiday as a kid I knew I had to play quietly in my bedroom until a decent hour but that was at a certain age which may not apply to your dc.

Why not say to PIL's, 'your turn to cook today' or 'I'd appreciate it if you would drive to X' or some such if you feel the cooking and driving has been unfairly put on you.

Also I agree with pp, fake a headache and get an afternoon nap. PIL's can surely cope with that and the sleep will hopefully make you feel much better.

Toddlerteaplease · 23/08/2021 06:40

Has FIL been investigated for sleep apnoea? Sounds like he needs to be.

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