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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm not wrong to park here am I?

214 replies

figwine · 22/08/2021 21:20

I have a horrible steep driveway that I never use. Instead I park across its dropped kerb, therefore taking up no more space than if I parked on it. Opposite my house and my neighbour's, which both have drives, there is a row of 4 houses which have no drives, though the end two have garages behind them that are quite tricky to get to so they often park on 'my' side. Usually this is no problem as there's a house next to me on the corner that is side on and has its own drive round the corner, so along its side there is parking for about 4 cars before you get to my dropped kerb.

Nonetheless, sometimes I get home and someone is parked in 'my' space. Don't know who usually as I only know 2 of the cars opposite and 1 never parks in my space and the other does occasionally. So often I'm not sure who it is - may be nothing to do with the 4 houses or just a visitor. Next to my drive is my front garden along which 2 cars can park, so if the dropped kerb space is taken I go there - actually prefer it as slightly nearer my front door! I also park the other side of my dropped kerb, so not in front of my house, if I need to - if all 3 other places have gone. None of that is ever a problem and I'm at my dropped kerb about 80% of the time I'd say.

After those 2 spaces my neighbour's dropped kerb begins. It's a weird one as it's not a traditional vertical drive that goes down towards their house but instead it goes along the front so it's wider than it's long and not very deep. It has to be accessed sideways on. So because the dropped kerb is a lot longer than average, if there's nowhere else I park on the half of it nearest to my house, They have a sign in the window saying 'no parking' but I ignore that as it's not enforceable as far as I'm aware. Anyway, doing that has never caused a problem - though it's only an occasional thing anyway. As an additional complication they are often away and it's not unusual for days or even weeks to go by without me seeing their car at all.

Anyway, yesterday I got back from holiday and there were no spaces apart from one that was further down their dropped kerb than I would normally go. I went there because there was no other room and I didn't even know when they would be back. When I got in my car this morning there was a note asking me to move as 'it's a drive' - there was someone across my drive, which they must have seen, at that very moment, but that's just how it goes sometimes. I was also told they had to carry shopping down the street. Now they had parked in front of my house (a car had moved between me parking and them arriving) so they would have carried the shopping about 30 paces, which I quite often have to do.

WIBU to park there? I would only ever do it if no other option (I'm pretty sure I've done it before but moved before they got back), but should I leave their space empty when there is nowhere else? Surely it's first come first served in this situation?

OP posts:
figwine · 22/08/2021 22:59

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I, too, was under the impression that it is an offence to block someone in their own drive, but not to block them out.

I personally don't bear OP any ill will in the slightest, but I am replying to the AIBU that, yes, this particular behaviour is unreasonable.

I'm intrigued, though: why wouldn't you know that a drive is intended for the free use of the residents to come and go as they please and the dropped kerb the official facility to enable this - whether it's to drive off or to drive on?

You're right about the offence bit, but surely you don't generally live your life antisocially, only paying heed to what is or isn't technically an offence and ignoring anything else?

You don't legally have to pull over on a motorway to allow traffic to join from the slip road - it's no offence to continue in the left hand land at exactly the same speed and position as a joining vehicle and force them to stop dead and thus unable to join safely at the end of the slip road - but it's extremely basic manners and the accepted 'done' thing to pull over or adjust your speed to help them if you can.

It's not a legal offence to barge people out of the queue in the supermarket and push in at the front, but everybody knows that you just don't do that.

I do get your point there and, as I've said, I won't park there again, but my thinking was, 'It's late, we've been away and have loads of bags, someone's in my place, neighbours will probably not be back before I move again...I'll park there.' I get that it wasn't the height of good manners and selflessness, but it also wasn't 'fuck it, I'm more important, I'll go there.' For instance, had it been the elderly man opposite's space I wouldn't have parked there. I'm not saying it makes it okay, but some of the replies are like I'm scum and I'm really not. I think many people would have done what I did and go through similar rationalising with a lot of decisions on a regular basis, often choosing a course of action that is neither wholly right nor wholly wrong but makes sense to them in some way at the time.
OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/08/2021 22:59

That was two cars ago - I haven't tried it for years- I don't think poor clutch control is one of my many faults. I don't think what you suggest would work as I park downhill and come off uphill. It's like the mother of hill starts, and when you get to the end there's usually cars right up to each end of the entrance, walls on either side, a narrow road to get onto, and now, increasingly, cars parked on the opposite side of the road. A bloody nightmare and it's definitely got worse in the last 2 years or so as there never used to be cars on the opposite side of the road.

OK, fair enough, then - I didn't say that you did have poor clutch control, I was just suggesting it as a possible factor for anybody experiencing your difficulties. It's very difficult for any of us to properly appreciate your scenario without a diagram or general photo (with no identifying details).

You could still hold it on the handbrake in neutral and then quickly engage the clutch and dart out when there's a space, couldn't you? Or even just with the clutch right down, as they only tend to 'burn' as they engage, if they're held on the biting point. If the traffic is that busy and relentless, I'm surprised it's an appropriate road for anybody to park on, really.

isthisareverse · 22/08/2021 23:00

I'm not a huge parking thread fan but definitely got the idea it was okay (ish) as long as not blocking anyone in. Seems not, which I accept.

YABU to take what you want from a random thread and try to pretend it's a legal rule. Hmm

Park or not on your own drive, it's up to you and not a big deal BUT you have no right to become an inconvenience and block or park across over people's drives or dropped kerb or whatever.

So as you must have gathered by now, YABU you are very wrong.

MsHedgehog · 22/08/2021 23:00

Are you actually serious? You block someone else’s drive and think they’re being unreasonable. And that MN taught it’s ok.

I’ve never seen it’s ok on MN, and in any event, people are often wrong on MN!

You are so so unreasonable, more for thinking it’s ok!

Fiddliestofsticks · 22/08/2021 23:01

But it is wholly wrong to park over someone's dropped kerb. That's just how it is. We dont do that.

Some assholes do, and then you get a thread on mumsnet about the asshole neighbour blocking the drive and everyone has a good bitch about them because it is generally accepted that it is wholly wrong to park across a dropped kerb.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/08/2021 23:04

Please don't take any of what I'm saying as a personal attack, OP; and I'm most certainly not thinking or suggesting that you're 'scum' in any way. I'm sure you're a very nice person. I'm just focusing on this one particular practice, about which you did actively solicit opinions.

figwine · 22/08/2021 23:05

To be honest, SausageRoll I think I have described the very specific set up on our street in such detail that if any of my neighbours are here they will recognise it! I appreciate you trying to help, but I'm not sure anyone can help in the sense that if people overhang the dropped kerb it will be very difficult/near impossible to get out, especially with people parked on the road opposite. I could get used to the steepness, yes, but it being partially blocked could not be overcome my technique and, like many people, I have a busy life and set off for work earlier than most of my neighbours and don't want to risk being stuck on the drive.

It's a busy road for parking (residential) but not busy for traffic, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 22/08/2021 23:06

God you are awkward!

  1. diagram
  2. entitled! 3 AIBU ? yes!!! YABU
Hankunamatata · 22/08/2021 23:08

@figwine

So if I get back and there is nowhere else to park I need to leave their whole dropped kerb free (about 2 car lengths) and drive around looking for another space - would be in another street. Despite there being quite a high chance they won't even be back for days?
YES
PrincessNymeria · 22/08/2021 23:09

Yup yabu. If you can't manage your driveway, you park in a reasonable place further away (not on a dropped curb), or you park on the dropped curb for a few minuets to unload stuff, then move the car.

figwine · 22/08/2021 23:09

Thanks, SausageRoll, I do appreciate your comments and attempts to advise with my driveway - I don't think yours have been the harshest posts, and you're right, I did solicit opinions, but I did honestly think I was right otherwise I would have chosen a different thread title - mine hasn't aged well Grin.

OP posts:
PrincessNymeria · 22/08/2021 23:10

*minutes

Nsky · 22/08/2021 23:13

Get your drive sorted or front gsrden

malmi · 22/08/2021 23:14

You should get an automatic or (better) electric car and park it on your driveway. Then you won't be contributing to the "it's ok to park across dropped kerbs" problem and you won't have the problem with clutch control/burning.

figwine · 22/08/2021 23:19

Here is the driveway situation if it makes any sense...

I'm not wrong to park here am I?
OP posts:
KingdomScrolls · 22/08/2021 23:19

YABVU
However it's not clear cut about whether you can park across your own dropped kerb, it depends on your local authority. This is from my local council's website
we only give fines for “unfriendly” parking across a dropped kerb. This means if you park in across a dropped kerb you are committing an offence unless you have permission.

Clydesider · 22/08/2021 23:20

I was told by the Police, a few years ago mind, that'd they'd only be really bothered if someone was blocked in, in case of emergencies. But you were still wrong to park on a dropped kerb.

Instead of being narky at people on here or the neighbour concerned, maybe get narky at the person who is parking over your dropped kerb.

MsHedgehog · 22/08/2021 23:21

Oh OP, please don’t take this the wrong way but...

That has got to be the worst / most unclear diagram I have seen!

ILoveCrap · 22/08/2021 23:21

‘Am I being unreasonable?’
‘Yes you are’
‘NO I’M NOT and here’s 7 pages of why I’m not’

I mean seriously, why bother asking if you’re not going to accept the answer?

figwine · 22/08/2021 23:22

I can't afford to redo my front garden or a new car - doubt the latter would change anything and I've only had this car a few months and have never attempted to park it on the drive. Hopefully people understand that many people don't have a few thousand sitting around to spend on something that isn't even necessary. I can just not park in my neighbour's space, which I've already said.

OP posts:
AngryWhompingWillow · 22/08/2021 23:23

@figwine

Here is the driveway situation if it makes any sense...
Clear as mud. Confused

WTF? Shock

I'm not wrong to park here am I?
figwine · 22/08/2021 23:23

@ILoveCrap

‘Am I being unreasonable?’ ‘Yes you are’ ‘NO I’M NOT and here’s 7 pages of why I’m not’

I mean seriously, why bother asking if you’re not going to accept the answer?

Um, well, I said a few pages back I wouldn't park there anymore, but don't let that stop you posting the traditional response.
OP posts:
figwine · 22/08/2021 23:26

I said I couldn't do diagrams. Basically it's a narrow, steep upward-facing drive with walls at each side at the entrance and cars almost certainly parked either side up close and directly opposite. There is about 1 car's width between the driveway entrance and the car that would (probably) be parked on the opposite side of the road.

OP posts:
RogueV · 22/08/2021 23:31

Sorry but I have to laugh at your diagram it’s terrible Grin

Maddison12 · 22/08/2021 23:43

Oh no OP, you're getting such a rough time here I feel a bit bad for the piss taking now Sad

You made a mistake, it happens. Hopefully you at least brought your hard hat 😂

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