You're child free and staying overnight with friends who have young children, what time do you get up?

[Grundoncalling]

A friend stayed over last night and is still in bed with no sign of stirring. A different child-free friend who stayed with us slept until 10.30.

We're unfortunately up at 6am and would usually have eaten breakfast by 8 and be thinking about what to do with our Sunday now.

I'm probably being precious, genuinely wondering if this is poor form? Pre-kid we'd set an alarm for 8 and definitely be up by 9 if staying with friends with young children.

If you find it stressful, don't offer to host in the first place!

A bit too simplistic I'm afraid. It's possible to love seeing your family but find the domestic side of it quite taxing. And not that easy to refuse people asking if they can stay, when you're the one who has moved abroad, and you are the one with the bigger house (not a stealth boast, this is in comparison to London where a lot of my relatives obviously live in smaller houses or flats just as we used to do).

It’s the OP who’s bitching about them on the internet. Why have you taken my comment as a knock at you?

Eh? Because Stanleywomanstanley your comment at 12.36 wasn't directed directly to the op, it was responding to a comment I made at 12.12.

maofteens you can stay at my place any time .

So what time did they get up @Grundoncalling?

If you find it stressful, don't offer to host in the first place!

A bit too simplistic I'm afraid. It's possible to love seeing your family but find the domestic side of it quite taxing. And not that easy to refuse people asking if they can stay, when you're the one who has moved abroad, and you are the one with the bigger house (not a stealth boast, this is in comparison to London where a lot of my relatives obviously live in smaller houses or flats just as we used to do).

I mean, if it's family surely you just let each other get on with things? I've stayed with family overseas plenty of times (and likewise they've stayed here) and they just make themselves at home. They do their own laundry, cook/clean up after themselves etc.

Eh? Because Stanleywomanstanley your comment at 12.36 wasn't directed directly to the op, it was responding to a comment I made at 12.12.

Surely no one is this literal?

Read it again. You said people were being ‘unkind’ for describing the OP’s behaviour as po-faced. I said I thought it was pretty unkind to make friends feel unwelcome and bitch about them on the internet. It’s simple.

I don't think it's about whether you have children or not, it's more about whether you are an early riser or not. I am childfree and wake early naturally. I don't expect guests to get up at the same time as me, in fact I prefer some time to myself in the morning.

I hate staying at my SIL's house though. They have kids but they are all late sleepers. I take my book so I can amuse myself but I can't make a cup of tea because they have one of those stupid whistling kettles. Last time I did that it woke her up and she made sure to tell me about it. 🙄

@WomanStanleyWoman

Eh? Because Stanleywomanstanley your comment at 12.36 wasn't directed directly to the op, it was responding to a comment I made at 12.12.

Surely no one is this literal?

Read it again. You said people were being ‘unkind’ for describing the OP’s behaviour as po-faced. I said I thought it was pretty unkind to make friends feel unwelcome and bitch about them on the internet. It’s simple.

It's you who is being literal!

It depends on if I need the sleep. I like fixed plans, so we'd have already agreed on a couple of options. I'd aim to get up by 9.30, if no plans. I can be up and out in 30 minutes, so I don't consider that late.

Just because they’re child-free doesn’t mean they don’t get tired and need to catch up on sleep at the weekend. Have they travelled far to see you? That can be tiring too.

We don’t have children yet but I start work at 5 am or 6 am depending on the time of year. I still wake up at that time at the weekend but I can usually fall back asleep. I’d be annoyed if I was a guest somewhere and they were talking about me online because I dared to sleep later than them.

If you expected them be be up and about at a certain time you should have made arrangements the day before “I was thinking we could go to xxx tomorrow. It opens at 10 so how about we aim to get there about 11?” Or something like that.

Before I had kids I did not get up before 10am on a Sunday. It's not unusual for child free people to lie in.

Plans should have been made the night before so there was clarity of expectations.

I wouldn't knock on the door and get them moving.

I know it get be hard with kids indoors and sometimes you just need to get out but so what if you have a Sunday at home with no plans it's not the end of the world.

I was always gone way before their kids got up.

Friends got up at 10.30ish, I think the smell of bacon cooking lured them up. Should have cooked it at 8.30

Lots of offended people on here. I posted to ask if this was actually rude or if I was getting into a snit over nothing. Many people would stay in past 10, so it's probably fine and I forgot about it. I still do think it's polite to get up by 9ish if there are young kids around but it's not a big deal.

Will definitely make plans with the next guests the night before, lesson learned.

I don't get why it makes a difference to when they get up that you have kids?

No neither do I. What difference does having kids make?

Because by 10ish we've been up for 4 hours and there's some clamouring to go out and do something

‘I still do think it's polite to get up by 9ish if there are young kids around but it's not a big deal.’

I’ve got young children so understand your pain but would never expect people to get up if they have managed to sleep through the inevitable noise.

@Grundoncalling

Because by 10ish we've been up for 4 hours and there's some clamouring to go out and do something

I think it's lesson learned that you just need to make that clear to guests the night before as otherwise like most people on this thread they won't know that it's an unsaid rule / preference in your home. Hope you all had a nice day in the end!

9, 9.30 especially if a late night, my kids never got up before 9 on weekends anyway

@Grundoncalling

Because by 10ish we've been up for 4 hours and there's some clamouring to go out and do something

But still not sure why this should be understood by your guests? As many families with children manage to not be fully awake at 6am? The kids I look after need to be woken at 7.30, sometimes 8 depending on the day ahead as they're still out like a light 🤷🏽‍♀️

I have a young child and if I have guests staying I wouldn't ever expect them to set an alarm to be up by 8am.

We ourselves, pre baby, didn't usually get up until about 10/10:30 (on days we weren't working) so I wouldn't expect any guests to either, regardless of what time our child wakes up. We can still spend the day doing something at that time

If we stayed somewhere without our child I also wouldn't think to get up before 10ish, although luckily we don't have any early rising friends so never been an issue😂

I have two kids under five, neither of them like to get up before 8am and sometimes 9.00 so guests are welcome to sleep late. We routinely eat breakfast between 9 and 11am unless we have somewhere to be. Not all young kids are early risers (I’m so glad I don’t have one of those 6am wakers).

@Grundoncalling

Because by 10ish we've been up for 4 hours and there's some clamouring to go out and do something

I see. In fairness I don't think that's really something you can expect childless people to realise. It isn't something I thought about beforehand, I'd have been more inclined to stay out of the way.

How are your guests supposed to know that your kids get up so early? They’re not mind readers.

Make plans or do your own thing and leave them a note, it’s a bit mean to expect them to get up earlier than normal on a Sunday just because you do. You probably won’t have the bother of hosting them again anyway

"It’s not extra work per se, but apart from a few extremely close friends’ places, I don’t usually start opening cupboards and fridges in other people’s homes to fetch myself some breakfast."

I only stay with people if they're good friends and even if they were only 'friends' to begin with, you'd be good friends by the time you've stayed over.

@Grundoncalling

Because by 10ish we've been up for 4 hours and there's some clamouring to go out and do something

But that's not your guests' problem.

Surely one of you could take the kids out and the other could stay home to look after the guests?

If you've got young children, then visitors need to be up sharpish.

Before we had children, we'd stay at my sister's house. My nephew wandered in every morning to chat to us. It gave my sister and her husband a much needed lie-in and we never begrudged it.