To leave DS9 at home for about 45 minutes every week?

[HCPcourt]

DS is 9, 10 in Dec.

Last term my little one had swimming lessons every Thursday at the school they both attend. I would collect DS5 from reception, walk home, changed and give snack then walk back to school for 315 to collect DS9, give him house keys, he would walk home and let himself in. DH was WFH.

DH back in office now so options are

1. I collect DS5 at 3, home and change, back to school, collect DS9 at 315. He stays with us, DS5 swimming lesson until 4, home by five past.

2. I collect DS 5 at 3, home and change, DS9 let’s out at 315, walks himself back, he’s home by 320. We leave at 325 have lesson and back by 5 past 4.

We live a few metres from the school, with no roads to cross. School happy for year 5s to walk themselves home.

DS9 is very sensible and would just have some screen time until we got in. Any issues he could easily run round to school or indeed shout over the back fence. He would have the dog with him for a bit of company (no issues with being alone with the dog).

So AIBU to go for option 2?

@Lockdownbear

Oh and we have actual sockets in bathrooms The sockets in the bathrooms is to do with voltage , 240v is a strange voltage, lower & higher voltage will throw you away from it. Around 240 you stick to it and become live pretty dangerous with wet hands.

Some old old houses still have 120V, standard is 230 I think now. I think ours at home were 220V iirc.🤔 Interesting about some throwing you away and some not!

My mom was making me babysit my DB at that age while she was out for grocery shopping. I think what really matters is your DS attitude and "maturity" level

Children mature in leaps and bounds at that age, so a 9 nearly 10 year old would probably be fine with this. A just 9 year old, I would think was slightly too young. It really depends on the child though. I definitely think that when you start to give children that responsibility, they should have their own phone. I know you said he has a tablet, but I think that should be a backup as well as a phone, incase WiFi goes down, he breaks the tablet somehow, puts it somewhere and can't find it, you forget to charge it etc. We got DD a phone with a contract at the end of Year 5 when she started to be left for short periods alone.

@Lockdownbear

I get the changing factors, what's interested is the official advice (and also how are these factors kind of unique to UK). But where is the 'official' advice coming from, the NSPCC, who are really a charity 🤷‍♀️ Other countries must have guidelines too of some description.

I really don’t see why advice by the nspcc is seen as “official”.

I would do it and have done similar with my 3.
No doubt people will tell you the house will go on fire or indeed you might meet an untimely death in those minutes.

@Lockdownbear

I get the changing factors, what's interested is the official advice (and also how are these factors kind of unique to UK). But where is the 'official' advice coming from, the NSPCC, who are really a charity 🤷‍♀️ Other countries must have guidelines too of some description.

Well yeah. The guidline set by psychologists in my native country is 6 if the child wishes to go by themselves. So is in Germany, Spain, Slovakia, Czech, Austria afaik and more.

NSPCC advice is taken as "official" here, isn't it? I know it's a charity, but every time something comes up it's mentioned?

I just wondered why the disparity between UK and many other countries. I think it's interesting to get doen to why certain attitudes towards things can be so different.

I teach this age group and this year had a child tell me he would be alone in the house on an INSET day all morning.

On further discussion with the child he knew all the rules about not answering doors etc. He could message his dad over the tablet and was planning on using the time to play X box. He was more than happy with this. Mum would then be home in time to sort lunch.

In staff meetings we have been told that it would only be a problem I'd the child was uncomfortable with situations. As you are so close and he can get to you so quickly, I really can't see a problem. I just might make sure he had an electronic device he can message me on.

As to everyone saying schools are empty past 4- what a load of bollocks. The office maybe yes, but often the head or deputy has an office nearby so can see who is trying to enter the building or children can find a classroom they can bang on the window of to get a teachers attention. We have had a situation where a child came back to school and we sorted them.

It really depends on the child first of all. Then whether if it's something they want to do and whether they're comfortable with it.

Maybe mix it up so it's not every Thursday that he's left alone.

@DadDadDad

As long as it brought a smile to someone, my work is done.

@KarmaStar

No way!!what are you thinking?

Why on earth not?

And what do you think about children in Europe who walk to school unaccompanied age six?

"And what do you think about children in Europe who walk to school unaccompanied age six?"

Not just Europe. Did you watch that programme by the two twin doctors (dr Xand and...?) where they had five and six year olds navigating their way through London. In it, they showed a child (about 6, can't quite remember) who navigated the Tokyo underground every day, 45 mins... walk, tube, change tube, walk. All by himself, with no friends etc. And they said that was the norm.

I teach secondary age, and I despair at how babied some of our students are. I really don't think it does them any good at all. (Although navigating the underground at 6 is a bit too young, even for me!)

Well yeah. The guidline set by psychologists in my native country is 6 if the child wishes to go by themselves. So is in Germany, Spain, Slovakia, Czech, Austria afaik and more.

In my mind 6 sounds fine for walking with other children, but I wouldn't allow a 6 year old to walk to school alone. More because of the number of weirdo's out there than the kid not making it to school alone if that makes sense.
The UK also has very busy roads not all of which have crossings on them.

This isn't the programme, but it makes the same point:

More because of the number of weirdo's out there than the kid not making it to school alone if that makes sense.
The UK also has very busy roads not all of which have crossings on them.
Other countries too have busy roads. 😁

That's what I am interested in. Do people in uk percieve uk as more dangerous for children?

@SchrodingersImmigrant

*More because of the number of weirdo's out there than the kid not making it to school alone if that makes sense. The UK also has very busy roads not all of which have crossings on them.* Other countries too have busy roads. 😁

That's what I am interested in. Do people in uk percieve uk as more dangerous for children?

Yes.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

"That's what I am interested in. Do people in uk percieve uk as more dangerous for children?"

If you can watch the documentary on planet child by Dr Xander. Prof Winston also covered it in his child if our time programme years ago,

But essentially, yes... they were saying the dangers aren't significantly greater, or at least they haven't grown as much as our perception of that danger. It is a thing mainly found in US and UK type countries. Compared to Europe, the dangers aren't significantly higher for British kids, but British parents consider them to be.

It is also fascinating to look at the potential psychological effects that this may be having on our children too. There's been a few studied on this, but have to be honest I haven't looked at them for a good few years. Protecting our children at all costs does come at a cost, and we need to balance it against the psychological well being of our children. It's interesting, and I do find Europe an interesting parallel to the UK.

That's what I am interested in. Do people in uk percieve uk as more dangerous for children?

Probably yes, but is that because of the children who went missing in the 80s, by the truck driver? And the amount of publicity looking for them.
Is the UK become more open and accepting that pedophiles exists? I don't believe other countries don't have them.

That's what I am interested in. Do people in uk percieve uk as more dangerous for children?

I think it depends whereabouts in the UK you live.

I live in a small northern town and kids walk to school alone from aged 8 - but according to many MN-ers, that's practically neglect

"Is the UK become more open and accepting that pedophiles exists? I don't believe other countries don't have them."

No, but maybe other countries are more aware that most pedophiles don't randomly attack children. Far more likely for them to groom and assault a child already known to them. Apparently it is quite common for the pedophile to know the mother.

This is American, but makes the point:

www.criminaljustice.ny.gov/nsor/som_mythsandfacts.htm

Well yeah. The guidline set by psychologists in my native country is 6 if the child wishes to go by themselves. So is in Germany, Spain, Slovakia, Czech, Austria afaik and more Is that really the case in Spain? I live in Spain and there are certainly no 6,7 or 8 year olds walking to school alone. Most kids start in Year 5 (if they live close to the school) and by year 6 most are going alone.

It's fine. My daughter used to stay hom alone longer than that although she was 10 but not sure a few months make much difference.
It's about how sensible your son is and how he feels. I might have missed it but have you asked him how he feels about it?

To those questioning the age I teach, yes, I teach Upper Key Stage 2 children (plus younger and older children). I also have secondary school aged children myself, so have been through this dilemma. 12 is the age I personally feel comfortable with, as this is around secondary school starting, when independence is needed, and children are likely to have a phone.
OP- I don't know your child or situation, so can only comment on my experiences. If you are worried, why not ask the school's advice?

Interesting read! Thanks

@CostaBlancaChica is it by area? Friend lived by Zaragoza few years ago and when we skyped she used to say she has half an hour since is just waiting for DS to get home. He was 6 ir 7

No. Too young.
Wouldn't even contemplate it to be honest.

Anyone would think OP had suggested leaving her 9 (but nearer to 10) year old home alone for the week while they went on holiday abroad, looking at some of these replies.
45 minutes and she can see the house from the school. It's fine.