To leave DS9 at home for about 45 minutes every week?

[HCPcourt]

DS is 9, 10 in Dec.

Last term my little one had swimming lessons every Thursday at the school they both attend. I would collect DS5 from reception, walk home, changed and give snack then walk back to school for 315 to collect DS9, give him house keys, he would walk home and let himself in. DH was WFH.

DH back in office now so options are

1. I collect DS5 at 3, home and change, back to school, collect DS9 at 315. He stays with us, DS5 swimming lesson until 4, home by five past.

2. I collect DS 5 at 3, home and change, DS9 let’s out at 315, walks himself back, he’s home by 320. We leave at 325 have lesson and back by 5 past 4.

We live a few metres from the school, with no roads to cross. School happy for year 5s to walk themselves home.

DS9 is very sensible and would just have some screen time until we got in. Any issues he could easily run round to school or indeed shout over the back fence. He would have the dog with him for a bit of company (no issues with being alone with the dog).

So AIBU to go for option 2?

I haven't RTFL so maybe this has already been suggested. Could your older child walk from school to the swimming pool and meet you there?

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Interesting read! Thanks

@CostaBlancaChica is it by area? Friend lived by Zaragoza few years ago and when we skyped she used to say she has half an hour since is just waiting for DS to get home. He was 6 ir 7

Maybe. I live in a city, so maybe in a smaller place it's normal. There are also a lot of stay at home mums abs it's common for grandparents to do childcare, so it would be strange for a 6 year old to walk home alone. They wouldn't allow it at DD's school. We didn't get the option to note her down as leaving alone until Year 5. The schools in my area are very strict and you have to give a lost with names, phone numbers and ID numbers of the people who will be collecting the kids after school.

Thanks for all the comments and interesting information about European kids! We have close friends in Denmark and they just can’t understand half the things we do here.

We will all sit down and discuss it next week when we have some time. I also forgot the after school teacher-led clubs will be starting again, they generally finish about 415 so I will see if he fancies doing one.

I love how focussed MNers are on logistics, and it’s absolute proof of how beautifully things would probably run if they were in charge of everything. For those anxious about why I’m doing all this walking about getting changed with a 5yo, I have to pick him up from one entrance then walk to the other entrance to get to the pool, which is also where the upper school come out. My house is on the same side of the road as the school between the two entrances which are themselves about 10 houses apart. So I have to walk back past my house to get to the pool so I nip in and get his swimming shorts/flip flops on so we can spend less time in the hellishly hot changing rooms.

It doesn’t really matter what they do in other countries, here it is frowned upon, I know someone who was reported to ss for leaving their 4 year old home alone whilst they went to the shop and yes ss did pay them a visit, so really it doesn’t matter what they do else where.

@PumpkinKlNG

It doesn’t really matter what they do in other countries, here it is frowned upon, I know someone who was reported to ss for leaving their 4 year old home alone whilst they went to the shop and yes ss did pay them a visit, so really it doesn’t matter what they do else where.

How is a 4 yo the same as a nearly 10 yo?

@PumpkinKlNG

It doesn’t really matter what they do in other countries, here it is frowned upon, I know someone who was reported to ss for leaving their 4 year old home alone whilst they went to the shop and yes ss did pay them a visit, so really it doesn’t matter what they do else where.

4 year old isn't left alone anywhere as far as I know and no one here was even mentioning they should

I love how focussed MNers are on logistics, and it’s absolute proof of how beautifully things would probably run if they were in charge of everything.

Forts thing of order would most likely be nationwide ban on knocking so no😂 I disagree 😂

*knocking on door

Missing the point of my post, I was commenting on the fact that people are saying in European countries kids as young as 4 are left home alone or expected to take themselves to and from school 5 miles away! That is NOT the norm in this country (nothing to do with the ops ds) and anyone doing that would be reported to the authorises, that is not ok here and it doesn’t matter what other countries do, pointless comparisons.

@PumpkinKlNG

It doesn’t really matter what they do in other countries, here it is frowned upon, I know someone who was reported to ss for leaving their 4 year old home alone whilst they went to the shop and yes ss did pay them a visit, so really it doesn’t matter what they do else where.

I agree... it doesn't matter if in Germany kids walk to school by themselves at 6. Send your 6 year old to school alone in this country and I'm pretty certain the teachers will either be having stern words with you or reporting you to SS.

I was allowed to walk a bit over half a mile to school with a friend from the age of 9. I was also allowed to go and play out in the woods near our houses and we used to vanish for hours. I also used to be allowed to cycle 2.5 miles to a friend's house from the age of about 10.5 and cycle to a woods with a friend (which involved crossing over a busy road) and then play in said woods building dens and playing on logs over a stream etc from the same age. The way that worked was the first time we went with Dad, then dad let us tell him when we thought it was safe to cross the busy road etc, then we were allowed to go on our own. So 45 mins on your own in a house sounds Jolly safe really! I never really know how young people were left at home alone as I had a brother 8 years younger and no matter how safe I might have been on my own no one was going to leave me in charge of a one year old at nine!!

I love how focussed MNers are on logistics, and it’s absolute proof of how beautifully things would probably run if they were in charge of everything. For those anxious about why I’m doing all this walking about getting changed with a 5yo, I have to pick him up from one entrance then walk to the other entrance to get to the pool, which is also where the upper school come out. My house is on the same side of the road as the school between the two entrances which are themselves about 10 houses apart. So I have to walk back past my house to get to the pool so I nip in and get his swimming shorts/flip flops on so we can spend less time in the hellishly hot changing rooms

Logistics - well, time and motion on my part.

If you're coming from home already (and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be driving and parking somewhere other than your own front drive if you weren't), why not pick up his swimming bag first and therefore avoid having to go back into the house?

That would mean

House - 5YO - walk to other entrance - DS9 - pool - relax on phone or talking to others/older DS without his little brother demanding your attention - home, rather than

House - 5YO - house - walk to other entrance - DS9 - DS9 walk home as you watch - pool - constantly listening out for emergencies and wondering if that yell was DS9 in trouble - coming out of pool area to check repeatedly - home - check DS9 is OK/whether anybody knocked/etc - try to spend time with him with his sibling still wanting your attention.

@PumpkinKlNG

Missing the point of my post, I was commenting on the fact that people are saying in European countries kids as young as 4 are left home alone or expected to take themselves to and from school 5 miles away! That is NOT the norm in this country (nothing to do with the ops ds) and anyone doing that would be reported to the authorises, that is not ok here and it doesn’t matter what other countries do, pointless comparisons.

Who said that about 4 year olds?

If people are saying that they wouldn't leave a 9yo home alone because it's too risky and they are too young to manage then yes it is relevant to point out that in similar countries, children much younger than that manage just fine. And English children (or houses) are not that different.

If people are saying they wouldn't leave a 9-yo home alone because other parents would judge and they're worried about getting a visit from ss then that's a different thing and yes it doesn't matter with other countries do.

Read back on the thread SchrodingersImmigrant it has been said.

Oh you mean the swiss example. Ok

Would he enjoy after school club that day?

@PumpkinKlNG

Missing the point of my post, I was commenting on the fact that people are saying in European countries kids as young as 4 are left home alone or expected to take themselves to and from school 5 miles away! That is NOT the norm in this country (nothing to do with the ops ds) and anyone doing that would be reported to the authorises, that is not ok here and it doesn’t matter what other countries do, pointless comparisons.

I don't actually believe that anyone anywhere would expect 4 year olds to get themselves to school 5 miles away. Walking with short legs would probably take the best part of 2 hours. Far too much risk of them getting of at the wrong stop on a public bus. Dedicated school bus maybe but that's not the same as making their own way. And yes it is a worry that kids will get off at the wrong stop. Then throw in most countries kids are 5 or 6 before they start school.

So no I don't believe 4 year olds are given that level of freedom anywhere.

Well a 5/6 year old walking to school in the U.K. is still not the norm and would result in a call to the authorities and no school would allow a child that young to leave school alone

Everyone knows their own child.

When my child was 9 he was fine to be left. He has always been very sensible and older for his years. He knew what to do in emergency etc and could call me anytime.

My nephew on the other hand is currently 9 and can not be left in another room too long on his own before he does something he shouldn’t .

All children are different. If you feel your child is sensible and you are happy with the situation then go for it.