To not give up my bed for them..

[timemachinewated]

We live in a 3 bed but have one DS and I'm due another baby in October so that is now a nursery.
DP's parents live abroad and are staying with us over Christmas. AIBU to not give up my bed and make them sleep on the air bed for the week? I don't want to have to reach up to see the baby from an air bed and I just feel like it's an invasion of privacy really someone else in my bed. I like to have my own bit of space and somewhere to escape from them as it's a bit full on when they stay!

YANBU

As long as they physically can I would do a swap around of baby to you, ds to nursery and them to ds's room. Depends how old ds is?

I wouldn't give up my bed with a 2mo who you will probably be feeding at night. What room are you putting the air bed in though? You should be fine without the nursery for a few days. Could your DS sleep in there if his room is bigger?

God no, I'd tell the to book a hotel. I'd not cope with that

No, tbh I’d be asking them to book a hotel or airb&b, there’s not really space for them and will the air bed be in the living room?

If so that’s too long to have someone in the livingroom as a bedroom, it’s too disruptive.

Absolutely not. You haven’t said when exactly you are due but you could still be recovering from birth, birth injuries or a c section.

If they don’t like it, they can stay in a hotel.

YANBU, I wouldn't give up my bed to sleep on an air bed when I was a few weeks on from giving birth and likely still physically recovering and knackered from sleepless nights with the baby.

DS will be nearly 5 at Christmas. The nursery is pretty small with the cot up there isn't room for a double air bed. Possibly DS could sleep on a single air bed or we could maybe put the cot in DS room and move poor DS bed into nursery then they can have an air bed in DS room. Otherwise it's air bed in the living room for them. Physically they are both absolutely fine they're only in their 60s.

I'd never expect anyone to give up a bed for me. Nothing wrong with a good airbed; especially when you'll be up several times with a very small baby. I would put the airbed in the nursery though if it fits.

You’ve got a 3 bedroom house, and the gene baby will be in with you for months. You don’t need a nursery, put a spare/sofa bed in there.
And this is going to be a long term issue, it’s not a one-off, they will be coming to stay for years.
My tip to you is to get the children used to sharing whenever you have visitors, so it doesn’t become an issue.
You shouldn’t have to give up your own bed, especially while you are nursing a baby and no doubt being woken in the night. Neither is it ideal to have older people sleeping on an air bed- 2 people on an air bed is really uncomfortable.
I sleep on the sofa cushions when I visit DS, DH sleeps on an air bed by himself because I don’t want to!

I would try very hard not to have them in the living room, you will want to have the space downstairs free.

@Disfordarkchocolate

I would try very hard not to have them in the living room, you will want to have the space downstairs free.

Absolutely this.

Well your baby won’t be in the nursery when they arrive so put them in there on a sofa bed or zbeds or suchlike. Or tell them to book a hotel/b&b etc.

If I was the visiting parent, I would want to book a nearby B&B. Whilst it would be difficult for you on an airbed with a baby, I don't think an airbed is suitable for anyone middle-aged or older. I slept on one in my 50s and it was awful. I didn't sleep much as it is uncomfortable and difficult to get up from the floor.

Is the cot a normal cot or a cot bed? If it's a cot bed, I would just take that out the cot and DS can sleep on that. Obviously won't work if it's a smaller cot. Then you have one free single bed and an air bed for them to choose from.

I wouldn't give up my bed, but putting them in the living room seems unnecessary if you have 3 beds, and they have nowhere to go in the day.

I have been taught to respectful to elders and would give up my bed, but not when you have a newborn. Airbed in living room sounds very uncomfortable for older people for a week. Invest in a sofa bed perhaps??

The nursery is pretty small with the cot up there isn't room for a double air bed. Possibly DS could sleep on a single air bed or we could maybe put the cot in DS room and move poor DS bed into nursery then they can have an air bed in DS room.

I doubt ‘poor’ DS will see it as anything other than exciting, tbh.

You keep your bed and put the grandparents on an air bed in one of the other two bedrooms-it must fit in one of them! With the cot out of the way, an air bed would probably fit. The baby can go in with you or DS for a few days. It’ll be fine-it’s Christmas. There is no need for them to be on your lounge floor though!

I’d do cot in your room and airbed in the nursery or put them in your DS’s room. Surely the baby would still be in with you anyway at 2 months?
I think id try and keep the living room free at all costs really.

Move DS into nursery for the duration, keep baby in your room and the ILs sleep on airbed in DSs room.
This may not work for future visits once baby is in the nursery, but at least with this configuration you can discuss future visits face to face.

@timemachinewated

DS will be nearly 5 at Christmas. The nursery is pretty small with the cot up there isn't room for a double air bed. Possibly DS could sleep on a single air bed or we could maybe put the cot in DS room and move poor DS bed into nursery then they can have an air bed in DS room. Otherwise it's air bed in the living room for them. Physically they are both absolutely fine they're only in their 60s.

No ‘poor DS’ about it, put him on an air bed in the nursery and them in his room.

That’s a much better solution, having anyone sleeping in the livingroom for a week is a nightmare.

Move the rooms round so everyone fits upstairs. Guests also need somewhere to go for alone time.

I’d put the five year old on a single air bed in the nursery, and let in IL have his room.

YANBU to not want to give up your bed, but I think leaving them sleep on the floor in the living room so that you can keep a room free with just an unused cot in it would be unreasonable.

Air bed in living room is fine.
Who has suggested you should give up your bed?

Yeah I wouldn't want them in the lounge. Surely the baby will be in with you at that stage? So you still have two available bedrooms.

Are you sure the smallest room isn't big enough for a double air bed? If you take the cot and baby stuff out surely it would be?

I'm surprised they wouldn't want their own space tbh.If my dp lived far away they'd hate to share a house with us as they like their own privacy,bathroom etc.