To not give up my bed for them..

[timemachinewated]

We live in a 3 bed but have one DS and I'm due another baby in October so that is now a nursery.
DP's parents live abroad and are staying with us over Christmas. AIBU to not give up my bed and make them sleep on the air bed for the week? I don't want to have to reach up to see the baby from an air bed and I just feel like it's an invasion of privacy really someone else in my bed. I like to have my own bit of space and somewhere to escape from them as it's a bit full on when they stay!

[quote GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]@rookiemere It would do my head in to be honest! No private space for anyone. But that's just my opinion.[/quote]
Actually plenty of private space. You got 3 bedrooms and living areas. Everyone can absolutely find a space to hide in for an hour. We will have 5 adults in 3 bed semi over Christmas. No one will die

Regardless of whether or not they can afford a hotel, I daresay they think it is quite 'the normal thing' for their son to accommodate them. It is the norm in many cultures, sons and daughters would not dream of their parents staying anywhere other than at their homes.

I still think you are very brave doing this with such a young baby but will they be helpful around the house?

I wouldn’t give up my bed but I wouldn’t put them on an air bed either! Plus they need their own space

The most workable as said would be baby in with parents, Son in "nursery", Gps in his room, preferably on a bed/beds.

I think it also depends on how long they want to stay as well though, living space & do the ILs fit in easily day to day?

I would not be giving up my bed at all. You do not have space for them to stay as your other two bedrooms are not suitable. The living room is not a bedroom either. I would be telling them that they can either book a hotel / AirBNB or not come. Those are their options. You will have enough to be doing with a young DC and a newborn when they visit, you do not need to be adding musical bedrooms into the mix. And if they kick up a fuss, well clearly they think their needs are more important than your needs so you will be able to see their true colours. Important to set expectations now so that you don't have to deal with this level of selfishness in the future.

Recommend a space saver cot

@coconutpie

I would not be giving up my bed at all. You do not have space for them to stay as your other two bedrooms are not suitable. The living room is not a bedroom either. I would be telling them that they can either book a hotel / AirBNB or not come. Those are their options. You will have enough to be doing with a young DC and a newborn when they visit, you do not need to be adding musical bedrooms into the mix. And if they kick up a fuss, well clearly they think their needs are more important than your needs so you will be able to see their true colours. Important to set expectations now so that you don't have to deal with this level of selfishness in the future.

Yes. Set expectations that they are not welcome. That's how this would translate. Next year there will be a thread about how in laws don't want to come but who the heck wants to fly with kids etc. It's a week, not a month🙄

I just think you don't really want them to stay. But there's no expectation of you giving up your bed, surely? I never gave up mine when my mum came to stay, although the children did.

There's no "poor ds" about it - he can move in with the baby. Or you can move the baby in with you (with her cot) and give them the nursery.

If you really don't want them to stay, and your H agrees, then you'll have to put sent them to a local hotel or air bnb for the duration.

You got rid of the guest bed recently? Why? DS could have slept in that until after their visit, if you really needed to have a 'nursery' for a baby that's not even here yet

If you didn't want them to stay, you should have told your DH, not gone about making it uncomfortable for everyone.

I think there's every expectation that I'll give up my bed. I'm never over the moon about them staying but I tolerate it as I have my own room to go to if I need some space.

@timemachinewanted

I think there's every expectation that I'll give up my bed. I'm never over the moon about them staying but I tolerate it as I have my own room to go to if I need some space.

Are you the OP?

You had bit if an nc fail here.

I wouldn't give up the bed, but equally i wouldn't not allow them to stay

@timemachinewanted

I think there's every expectation that I'll give up my bed. I'm never over the moon about them staying but I tolerate it as I have my own room to go to if I need some space.

Why have you added an 'n' to your name, or are you not the op?

Assuming you are the op, from whom is there an expectation that you'll give up your bed - your husband? It's his bed too and maybe he doesn't mind.

I think as long as your baby is with you, it won't matter much where you sleep for a week.

Do you not like your in laws?

Don’t give your bed for them. Unless the blow up bed will fit in one of the other rooms without much moving about, you don’t have room for them to stay. Its up to them to find a hotel or an air b and b.

What does your DH say?

I would put the baby in your room and put the air bed in the nursery for their privacy.

As a new mum you need a good place to rest, unless they have health issues

Op My inlaws usually choose to stay in a hotel but because of covid, they didn't want to. My teeage dd gave her room up for them, expecting that they would rise relatively early, mil like to tell ys how she always up by 7.30, she did not come round early than 12pm once in the week long stay, my dd has to wait to access her clothes etc. She also
Moaned about the bathroom facilities, as she had use of a bath with a shower (we did offer use of our ensuite which she refused) never again.