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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up my bed for them..

167 replies

timemachinewated · 21/08/2021 11:29

We live in a 3 bed but have one DS and I'm due another baby in October so that is now a nursery.
DP's parents live abroad and are staying with us over Christmas. AIBU to not give up my bed and make them sleep on the air bed for the week? I don't want to have to reach up to see the baby from an air bed and I just feel like it's an invasion of privacy really someone else in my bed. I like to have my own bit of space and somewhere to escape from them as it's a bit full on when they stay!

OP posts:
Original poster
timemachinewated · 21/08/2021 11:50

I think it might be better to move the cot into the garage or something and then have them on a double aid bed in the nursery. It's quite small though I'm hoping it'll fit one in. Future visits once she's DS's age and has a bed etc I don't know how they will work but suppose I'll worry about that then.

To not give up my bed for them..
OP posts:
Sittingonabench · 21/08/2021 11:51

I would be either getting them an air b&b, hotel, or would be giving them my bed. At 60,even if for and healthy getting up and around is more difficult and they are guests. But YANBU to do it however you want, it’s your home and so you get to decide. But I would tell them in case they’d rather stay in a hotel.

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 21/08/2021 11:52

Book them a premier inn. It’ll be the best £100 you’ve ever spent.

Original poster
timemachinewated · 21/08/2021 11:52

They won't stay in a hotel as they won't pay for one I know for a fact they won't. When then stay with DP's brother they have him and his partner on an air bed in the living room and sleep in their bed. I might say one of you can snuggle next to me in bed but I ain't moving out of my bed! Grin

OP posts:
purplesequins · 21/08/2021 11:54

yanbu
I am very protective about my bed. no one (apart from occassionly a dc) sleeps in my bed.
and especially after just having a baby.

tbh I would get a camping bed or a matress for the visitors, much more comfortable than an air bed.

Notaroadrunner · 21/08/2021 11:55

Give them the choice of sleeping on an air bed or to book into a hotel/Airbnb. I wouldn't give up my bed to sleep on an air bed for anyone. If an air bed is their only option at your house then I'd imagine they'll opt for alternative accomodation. I wouldn't be offering to book and pay for it though - I'm sure they are capable of doing that themselves.

OwlinaTree · 21/08/2021 11:56

I'd put your DS's bed mattress on the floor in there and let them have DS's bedroom with the air mattress. Hopefully you could stand the bed frame up somewhere out of the way?

For the future, when you buy a single bed for your baby, try to get one with a pull out trundle that will convert to a double bed. Then your visitors can sleep on that and your children can share.

cervixuser · 21/08/2021 11:59

@Sittingonabench

I would be either getting them an air b&b, hotel, or would be giving them my bed. At 60,even if for and healthy getting up and around is more difficult and they are guests. But YANBU to do it however you want, it’s your home and so you get to decide. But I would tell them in case they’d rather stay in a hotel.
I am 64 and perfectly capable of sleeping on an air bed
godmum56 · 21/08/2021 11:59

yup....you can phrase it as "for this year" if you don't want to go all out, but I'd definitely say airbed in bedroom (not yours) and two kids in together OR they can hotel/air bnb OR cancel for this year, their choice.....better still get DP to say it :)

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 21/08/2021 12:02

Yanbu

Options are

  • DS on airbed in nursery
  • Hotel
  • them on airbed for them
Thehop · 21/08/2021 12:03

The double height airbeds are really comfy!

They’ll be fine!

Couldhavebeenme3 · 21/08/2021 12:05

When we lived away from the grandparents we bought a single that had a guest bed underneath, it came up on legs to make a double. Used many, many times, ds came on a camping adventure into our room when the in-laws visited.

If you're going to be doing this for the foreseeable you should invest in a decent solution.

To not give up my bed for them..
RampantIvy · 21/08/2021 12:07

At 60,even if for and healthy getting up and around is more difficult

At nearly 63 I am perfectly capable of sleeping on an air bed. Unless there are health issues 60 isn't decrepit Hmm

PinkTonic · 21/08/2021 12:09

I think the ‘poor DS’ comment and the fact that the only option you can really see is having them in an air bed in the living space says a lot about your attitude to having them to stay. A two month old doesn’t need a nursery. Knowing they were coming, the obvious thing would have been to set it up after they’ve gone rather than 3 months before the birth.

MadMadMadamMim · 21/08/2021 12:09

I would not give up my bed for anyone, so YANBU.

However, at not yet 60 I would not go stay with someone who expected me to sleep on an airbed. I'd book a hotel/Air BnB instead.

I cannot imagine spending several nights in a row crashing on someone's living room floor at my age. It's clear you don't have room for visitors and PIL should book in somewhere else..

category12 · 21/08/2021 12:09

I wouldn't have them in the living room or give up your bed - ds goes into the nursery or they go into the nursery.

Oldraver · 21/08/2021 12:12

Is it a cot or cotbed size you have ? A five year old should fit in a cotbed with the sides off

Howshouldibehave · 21/08/2021 12:14

I think the ‘poor DS’ comment and the fact that the only option you can really see is having them in an air bed in the living space says a lot about your attitude to having them to stay

I agree! It sounds like you don’t like them and are already making a meal of them coming, 4 months away!

Gwenhwyfar · 21/08/2021 12:15

If they're in their 60s could you borrow a double mattress for someone to use rather than an air bed. A mattress on the floor is fine for a while, but airbeds are not great for people that age imo.

trancepants · 21/08/2021 12:16

Well I definitely wouldn't be sleeping on an airbed if there is any possibility at all of your new baby falling asleep in your bed. It would present too much of a suffocation risk to the baby to be asleep with you on that kind of mattress. So that would be utterly non-negotiable from the start.

www.publichealthpost.org/research/air-mattresses-infant-deaths/

OwlinaTree · 21/08/2021 12:16

PinkTonic they already have a child. The DS might have been in there up until recently. I didn't move my son into the larger spare room until I was Pg with the second.

CrazyNeighbour · 21/08/2021 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/08/2021 12:18

@Thehop

The double height airbeds are really comfy!

They’ll be fine!

Ah OK, if it's a tall one, that would be more comfortable than a mattress on the floor. Airbeds tend to be on the small side though. I've slept on some singles that are much narrower than a normal single mattress..
starfishmummy · 21/08/2021 12:20

@MadMadMadamMim

I would not give up my bed for anyone, so YANBU.

However, at not yet 60 I would not go stay with someone who expected me to sleep on an airbed. I'd book a hotel/Air BnB instead.

I cannot imagine spending several nights in a row crashing on someone's living room floor at my age. It's clear you don't have room for visitors and PIL should book in somewhere else..

I totally agree with this.

Maybe if it was an emergency situation but this is not.

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 12:20

This is what Travelodges and Premier Inns are for. I know they don't want to stay in a hotel but I think it's sensible in this scenario.

I didn't know the over 60s struggle to sleep on air beds, does nobody over 60 ever go camping? Confused