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AIBU?

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Original poster

So he washed the sheets

183 replies

Wowhewashedthesheets · 20/08/2021 17:01

and he cleaned the front door, and hoovered, and took the meter readings, and sorted the bin. He told me all this after I’d gone to the dentist in a strop because I was pissed off about something completely different and unrelated. I’ve just told him I have put loo rolls in his bathroom. He gave me an odd look, so I said well you told me you’d hoovered.

I’ve a good mind to keep this up right back at him so tonight it will be
“I’ve cooked you dinner” instead of “dinner is ready”
Tomorrow it will be “I’ve ordered , x y z on the online shopping for you” instead of it just appearing where he wants it.

I know I am not the only one who lives with this but today it’s really really annoyed me and I feel the need to say it somewhere.

Happy Friday everyone.

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 21/08/2021 03:45

I think that you should just let all this man nonsense go over your head, and ignore everything.. No point in having all these minor irritations in the home.

MrsAvocet · 21/08/2021 04:32

My DH used to do this in the early days of our marriage. I'd smile and say "Thanks. I've paid the mortgage for you." It soon stopped.

Kiduknot · 21/08/2021 04:38

My dd has now learned not to do the “for you” trick after it didn’t go down well. Fortunately dh has never tried it.

Kiduknot · 21/08/2021 04:44

Thought the thread was going to be about an expected affair due to the washing of said sheets,.. 😊

EccentricaGalumbits · 21/08/2021 04:47

My DP and I are both neat freaks and if we ever argue about housework it's because we're both insisting that the other one sit down and rest while we do it.

It took nearly 50 years and 2 failed marriages to find him by the way, but it was worth it.

onelittlefrog · 21/08/2021 05:01

@Oldtiredfedup

My partner has a name for this: it’s a ‘Manouncement’
I do see the humour in that but honestly I think using a word like that just perpetuates the idea that men do less and require praise.

If you are in a situation where your partner is doing less and it's really frustrating, I don't think this kind of humour/ making light of it (or allowing them to) is helpful.

Longdistance · 21/08/2021 05:08

Dh used to do this. He’d Hoover up and mannounce it (love that new word). I once said to him ‘what? Do you want a fucking medal?’ Hasn’t happened since 🤷🏼‍♀️
My dh also empties the bin and forgets to put a new bin liner in. He gets called ‘halfajob’.

FlowerArranger · 21/08/2021 05:10

Bloody hell @Wowhewashedthesheets, when I read your thread title I thought this was going to be about something else altogether... LOL

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/08/2021 05:15

@withinacceptabletolerances

When my dad does this my mum goes into the kitchen and gets some tin foil and a makes a circle with it and presents it to my dad as his 'medal'. At first it was a joke but now there's a hint of violence in the way she slaps it on his chest....
I'm feeling an urge to go and buy some of those "good job!" stickers that are produced for primary school children, and slap one of those on DH's forehead when he does this in future. I like it!
DifferentHair · 21/08/2021 05:32

Man ounce is inspired.

Mine likes to leave the empty laundry basket in the middle of the floor and piles of laundry on the couch so I can't miss that he folded some laundry.

Drives me nuts.

possumgoddess · 21/08/2021 08:25

I realised a couple of days ago that I thank my OH when he has done things, so 'thank you for hoovering/washing up/putting the washing on'. Does anyone else do this? None of those things are unusual - he does a lot around the house. I suppose I know that he likes to be appreciated (and works better if he is!). My point is - I don't get thanked for what I do - and I pointed that out to him when I realised. I think I would probably do more if he recognised that I also have done things and thanked me too! I do my share, by the way, but it's not a joy - it's a chore. Knowing that my OH would come into the kitchen when I have cleaned it and say that it looked great and thank me for doing it would probably motivate me to do more.

dummyd · 21/08/2021 08:36

@SparksAndLarks

If, for example, I were to ask mine to get me a glass of water when he is sitting in his chair.

He will:
Throw his head back wearily, rest his head on the wall and close his eyes.
Raise his hands high and bring them down on the armrests.
Lever himself up heavily with pain filled groans, grunts and puffs.
Stumble, in an exaggerated manner, the four feet to the door.
Fall over his own feet with tiredness and weakness.
Walk into the door frame in his exhausted delirium.
Bang about for five minutes finding a glass and the bottle of water.
(There's apparently a gravity distortion in our kitchen)
Stumble the ten foot back, walking into the door this time.
He then deliberately places the heavy, heavy 225ml glass down with a sigh and a slosh.

Soooooo tired but I got to do this mammoth task for you... with my last breath... my love. See how much I love you.

The number of "oh, for fuck sakes" that have to be suppressed is epic.

I am going to end him one of these days, the overdramatic praise seeking wanker.

If he asks me for anything, I get it, in silence.

I have tried imitating his style but he looks at me like I have lost my mind.

Oh my Goddd😂😂

Cuddlywaterfall · 21/08/2021 08:37

Ugh. All of this. I force myself not to thank DH when he tells me he's emptied the dishwasher or whatever. I just say OK. If there is a particularly grandiose announcement, I reply, 'I'll alert the media'.
If I announced everything I did I wouldn't have time to sit on my arse on MN breathe !

dummyd · 21/08/2021 08:47

@ikidyouikidyounot

Instead of moaning about it just don't do it for him if you don't want to. No one is forcing you.
I tried not doing the dishes and they were left In the sink, then later by the side when the sink filled up and in the bedroom Envy

After many attempts, finally made some progress haha

Thing is, there are other things you can't really do this for, because unlike dishes or a filthy toilet they're not stinky so will just be ignored forever and you'll keep hearing 'don't worry, I'll do it In a bit' forever

Looubylou · 21/08/2021 09:03

My Oh, used to do this. I used to reply with everything I had done. Thus has made him change tack - when I get in from work, he waits until I've been in a while then announces "you haven't noticed have you? " me "what?" - him "well if I've got to tell you.....". Martyred expression, and silence.

ancientgran · 21/08/2021 09:16

I often tell DH what I've done. Usually at the end of the day when I'm reflecting on what I've "achieved" that day. I won't say things I do every day like cooking ameal or washing up but I will say, "Well all the beds have been changed and bedding washed, house vacuumed but I do need to cut the grass tomorrow if it doesn't rain." I didn't realise there was anything wrong with that.

MoonahStone · 21/08/2021 10:02

If you have an Echo I highly recommend asking her for a round of applause every time he does this! Even the teens do this now and it soon gets the hint across!

ancientgran · 21/08/2021 11:53

I'd like a round of applause, must ask DH if he can set that up with his Echo.

So far today as well as breakfast/washing up I've changed bedding for visitors arriving later, vacuumed the house, done two washes, had a sort out of junk left in the car (we've been doing childcare for GC in holidays and they seem to think the car is a dustbin) unpacked the shopping that was delivered, had a spring clean of the dining room, general tidy up of the house and cleaned the bathroom. Managed all that with a broken ankle and I feel like I need a round of applause.

He'll probably think I've gone mad.

LindaEllen · 21/08/2021 12:20

17yo stepson does exactly the same. He will announce that he's put his washing on, as if that's the best thing in the world - despite the fact he only does it because he's got no choice, does sod all else, and it doesn't benefit us in the slightest (particularly because it takes him days to actually wash, dry and fold the washing, when it'd take me a two hours from start to finish).

Yespresh · 21/08/2021 17:21

No point getting annoyed you need to have a Frank discussion about who does what and when.

MincePieandBaileys · 21/08/2021 17:34

When my husband vacuums the house, he always shows me how much dust he has picked up!

Pgs007 · 21/08/2021 17:45

They do it with children too.. "btw whilst u were relaxing in the bath, baby woke up and exploded so I changed her" Hmm (his child too) and then proceeds to leave the nappy, atleast thankfully closed up, on the side, for me to put in the bin... And the wetwipes left open so they start to dry out Wine needed

Bertiebiscuit · 21/08/2021 17:55

"manouncement" is genius - lots of men want a 100 gun salute for just behaving like human beings - I think you should milk this and milk this and see if he gets it...... "I've just put the toilet seat down", "I've just put the cap on the toothpaste".. "I've just put the milk back in the fridge" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bertiebiscuit · 21/08/2021 17:56

Same way men are "babysitting" their own children, women never are

ALongHardWinter · 21/08/2021 18:24

Manouncement! Love it! Grin