So he washed the sheets

[Wowhewashedthesheets]

and he cleaned the front door, and hoovered, and took the meter readings, and sorted the bin. He told me all this after I’d gone to the dentist in a strop because I was pissed off about something completely different and unrelated. I’ve just told him I have put loo rolls in his bathroom. He gave me an odd look, so I said well you told me you’d hoovered.

I’ve a good mind to keep this up right back at him so tonight it will be
“I’ve cooked you dinner” instead of “dinner is ready”
Tomorrow it will be “I’ve ordered , x y z on the online shopping for you” instead of it just appearing where he wants it.

I know I am not the only one who lives with this but today it’s really really annoyed me and I feel the need to say it somewhere.

Happy Friday everyone.

@isseys4xmastinselcats

i would love to come home and find that my OH had done any housework without being asked ,he just dosent notice all the little things that need doing each day so unless i have specifically asked him to do something while im at work ( hes retired) i end up coming home and doing it myself and hes not going to change so no point in angsting about it , but if he does something i say thank you and when ive done something he says thank you to me no big deal

You need to raise your standards.

He's at home all day and can't get off his arse to do a bit of cleaning or laundry? Presumably he had a reasonable career he was good at, and didn't 'forget' to do any of the things required to keep his job? He's a lazy sod.

My ex used to announce like a puppy looking for a treat when he collected his skiddy boxers and stinky socks from the floor his side of the bed "for you to put in the wash babe".

Manouncement - love that!

My DH has form for this - he announced “I did the ironing for you” so I went to the cupboard and got one of the kids gold star stickers left over from homeschool - he got the message!

I think the 'for you' is egregiously awful but we actually do both tell each other if we do a chore, and I quite like it that way. So I will say 'I just did the bathroom' and he'll say 'ah great, thanks', and vice versa. We also thank each other for things like tidying up the kitchen if we notice the other one has done it. It means we say thank you a lot, but it doesn't seem like there's a danger of a relationship becoming too polite so I don't see the downside!

My husband does this and thinks I should be grateful that he's done five tiny jobs. He announced that he had changed the bin bag and emptied the dishwasher. Great stuff I've been at work for eight hours.

I see your mannouncements and raise you with 'your time isn't as important as mine.'

Dh, can you do xyz?
Not now, mañana.

Dh decides the tent in the garden needs to come down now, after tea. Cue kids being rounded up to help, panic over the tent bag going missing because It Is Very Important ToFold The Tent In to (I know this; is in the garage), kids told to roll the mats up, kids told not to roll the mats up cos they're doing it wrong....

All done with the urgency of the 3 minute fucking warning.

You'll be glad to know, I sat on the couch throughout the whole event. Speaking only to tell him to stop being a twat.

And then, and then, when kids have retreated upstairs:
"No one watching the film tonight then?" (Shouted up the stairs, as his legs must be tired now)
Fucking, we thought we were.... until you decided to put the tent up!

Noticing is nice and thank you is enough. Noticing what needs doing and doing it efficiently without fanfare or expectations of a parade with baton twirling marching girls is best of all.

I might just get "Zadoc the Priest and Nathan the Prophet" loaded on Spotify for the next time he empties the dishwasher...

"Cleaned the front door" ??

When my dad does this my mum goes into the kitchen and gets some tin foil and a makes a circle with it and presents it to my dad as his 'medal'.

Dh would never do the 'for you' thing, but he is occasionally a little bit too self-congratulatory about having done a chore.

@Hardbackwriter

I think the 'for you' is egregiously awful but we actually do both tell each other if we do a chore, and I quite like it that way. So I will say 'I just did the bathroom' and he'll say 'ah great, thanks', and vice versa. We also thank each other for things like tidying up the kitchen if we notice the other one has done it. It means we say thank you a lot, but it doesn't seem like there's a danger of a relationship becoming too polite so I don't see the downside!

I do the kitchen 3 times a day (after every meal). I think DH thanking me every time would drive me down the bloody bend! Equally I think he’d be bemused if I thanked him every time he hoovered (he does it every day due to dog and toddler).

DH got this when he tried telling me what a good boy he'd been doing normal jobs about the house.



@RainyDay2020

Manouncement - love that!

My DH has form for this - he announced “I did the ironing for you” so I went to the cupboard and got one of the kids gold star stickers left over from homeschool - he got the message!

This is genius, I'm off to order some stars! Mine not only announces what chores he has done "for me" he also insists on taking me around the house, proudly pointing out the shiny shower screen and the watered plants!

I'll try that again!

I do the kitchen 3 times a day (after every meal). I think DH thanking me every time would drive me down the bloody bend! Equally I think he’d be bemused if I thanked him every time he hoovered (he does it every day due to dog and toddler).

One of us thanks the other for cleaning the kitchen every night - and we take it in turns, it's whoever didn't put the toddler to bed, so it's never a surprise it's done! I honestly didn't realise how weird/unusual it is until I read this thread. It's not like we make elaborate speeches of gratitude, one of us just goes 'cheers for that', nodding at the kitchen. We also thank the person who made a meal, even if it's a sandwich.

Does the one who cleaned the kitchen thank the other for putting the toddler to bed? There must be a lot of thank yous in your house

@Neverrains

Does the one who cleaned the kitchen thank the other for putting the toddler to bed? There must be a lot of thank yous in your house

I was actually just thinking that the one thing we don't thank for is child related tasks, and that perhaps that's weird now I think about it? Similarly one of us cooks dinner and the other does bath for the children, again usually on alternating nights, and dinner person gets thanked but bath person doesn't! We do say thank you a lot, but we're both the sort of person who says about eight thank yous in the course of buying a chocolate bar from the shop so it doesn't seem odd to us, clearly it is On the plus side the toddler is pretty good at please and thank you!

I can do relate to this! Honestly light hearted because he is great, but my dh needs thanking for everything. Even if I watch him make us both a cup of tea, he'll say " I made you a tea" as a prompt for thank you, but if I do the same I just assume he can see it as it's obvious. At the weekend he will say, " I can make lunch" but then I say thank you numerous times, if he doesn't say it, I just make lunch/ dinner and no-one comments. It really is light hearted as I know he appreciates me, but the need to be thanked does irritate!

...still laughing at 'Manouncement'...

@Oldtiredfedup

My partner has a name for this: it’s a ‘Manouncement’

👏 BRILLIANT!! Stealing this

@reesewithoutaspoon

My dad used to do the I,ve done x,y,z FOR YOU to my mother. It ended the day he told her "I,ve done YOUR dishes for you" She took the stack of plates and proceeded to frisbee them against a wall. Dad all alarmed goes. "What are you doing stop breaking the plates " and she replied. "well you said they were MY plates so I,ll do what I want with them"

I'm always surprised at how many young (younger than me) women refer to household itmes as 'my', settee, curtains etc etc. My late mother did it but she was born in 1914, I was quite shocked when I heard my daughter say it, a 70s babe.

Its always "I've done the dishwasher now "

We do have agreement that I cook and he does the dishwasher - currently ignoring the fact that cooking is at least 3 x the effort and time of the dishwasher. And he has learnt I will not a) remind him at all b) cook until its done (currently no children so just him suffering).

He has not yet learnt however, that I will not jump to cooking on the declaration of a completed dishwasher.

Since having DC1 made it bleedingly obvious how little housework DH did, I announce every chore to DH. But up til now haven't added the "for you". Clearly that's the trick to pushing him over the edge. Will try it tonight. "I've tidied the lounge FOR YOU"

Jacky Fleming has a great take on the Mannouncement....

@SpidersAreShitheads

Oooh I've got another bit to add that I just remembered.

Later on in the day, he'll wince and hold his back. I know better than to ask what's wrong.....he'll then announce "my back really hurts....think it's where I was bending over cleaning the bath earlier....."

I am only treated to this performance if I haven't been sufficiently impressed with his efforts.

Ha

Mine tried that, he got ‘it’s because you aren’t used to doing it, love. You need to do it more often, it’s fine with a bit of practice‘