So he washed the sheets

[Wowhewashedthesheets]

and he cleaned the front door, and hoovered, and took the meter readings, and sorted the bin. He told me all this after I’d gone to the dentist in a strop because I was pissed off about something completely different and unrelated. I’ve just told him I have put loo rolls in his bathroom. He gave me an odd look, so I said well you told me you’d hoovered.

I’ve a good mind to keep this up right back at him so tonight it will be
“I’ve cooked you dinner” instead of “dinner is ready”
Tomorrow it will be “I’ve ordered , x y z on the online shopping for you” instead of it just appearing where he wants it.

I know I am not the only one who lives with this but today it’s really really annoyed me and I feel the need to say it somewhere.

Happy Friday everyone.

When I first married, we both worked full time. I left house before him and got home later.

My (ex) husband couldn’t understand why I was annoyed when he pointed out that he had cleaned the bathroom for me the previous week.

The one that really annoys me (and DCs used to do it as much as DH - they soon learned not to!) is “I’ve done x,y,z FOR YOU!”

Manouncement made me laugh.

20 years with dh, he still pulls this shit. Because I know he will undoubtedly mention whatever task he has done, I make a point of acting like I haven’t noticed. The fool is actually doing himself out of the praise he is so desperate for because he can’t stop himself.

The most annoying thing is that he seems to think that if he has vacuumed/put clothes away/wiped the sink then it will never actually need doing again.

Me: “Can you put your clothes away please dear?”
Dh: “I put them away yesterday.”

Me: “Yes dear I know, but I did another load this morning. Can you just pop them away?”

I can only assume he thinks I vacuum every day for fucking fun (we have dogs).

@BashfulClam

Mine is emptying the dishwasher right now. I’ll go downstairs and get told he did it. He will only do half a job and not actually put any of the dirty dishes in though!

I get this too, his dirty dishes etc rarely get further than the sink ‘because they have to soak’. And I get the announcements too but it’s usually’I was just going to do that’ when he sees me doing something/anything 🤬😡 I just wish I had a £ for every time he’s said this, I would be rather rich!

@isseys4xmastinselcats

i would love to come home and find that my OH had done any housework without being asked ,he just dosent notice all the little things that need doing each day so unless i have specifically asked him to do something while im at work ( hes retired) i end up coming home and doing it myself and hes not going to change so no point in angsting about it , but if he does something i say thank you and when ive done something he says thank you to me no big deal

I do think it's really bad form to come on to a thread like this and basically say "I have really low standards over household chore equality and I'm fine with it, you should be too."

I'm a bit against the grain here but I'd be pretty happy to find that

1. my DH had worked out he'd pissed me off and had thought of a way to try to make it up slightly

2. done some housework off his own bat, especially if they'd normally be jobs that would fall to me... So he is doing them 'for me' in that I'd be doing them if he hadn't

3. thanked me in some way for housework, which I do as part of my contribution to the whole household and is otherwise a completely thankless daily grind

Maybe I'm just a total sap or something? Probably

@OchNoAgain

I'm a bit against the grain here but I'd be pretty happy to find that

1. my DH had worked out he'd pissed me off and had thought of a way to try to make it up slightly

2. done some housework off his own bat, especially if they'd normally be jobs that would fall to me... So he is doing them 'for me' in that I'd be doing them if he hadn't

3. thanked me in some way for housework, which I do as part of my contribution to the whole household and is otherwise a completely thankless daily grind

Maybe I'm just a total sap or something? Probably

I guess if you tell your partner every time you do a simple household chore, it’s fine if he does the same 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m guessing you probably don’t though?

Well no but if he was due to do the bins and I did them I would say 'i've done the bins for you btw' and he'd say 'ah thanks' and I don't think that's all that weird?

@shouldistop

if I'm annoyed at my husband about anything, he cleans the house. It's bizarre but maybe I'll start pretending I'm annoyed.

I used to have a friend who hated housework and it did tend to pile up. She used to pick a row with her husband, they'd have a really screaming set to, he'd bounce out in a mood and she reckoned the adrenaline rush meant she could have the whole house immaculate in a couple of hours.

It did seem to work until the day he put her head through a glass window and they split up for a while.

@Oldtiredfedup

My partner has a name for this: it’s a ‘Manouncement’

LOVE this.

Yep, it is a man thing @Wowhewashedthesheets

They want and need praise and acknowledgement for doing what women do all the time. And some others give it to them too, especially their mothers!

The killer for me is 'I've done the washing up for you.' And similar comments. Last week (when I had spent 4 hours out, food shopping, going to the bank, post office, pet shop, vets, Boots (for his prescription,) and filling the car,) DH said 'hey love... I've saved you a job. I've hoovered the lounge carpet...' with an eager smile, as if he wanted a medal for it. Saved ME a job?!

I just glared at him. He had no idea why.

'You OK?' he asked 'bit busy out was it?'

Haha my DH doesn’t do this at all but this is my father all over.
If I of DH takes the children for ice creams it’s called “taking the children for ice cream”. The times my father has done it goes like “granddad is going to buy you an ice cream. Which ice cream am I buying you? … remember when grandad bought you that ice cream?”.

My dad used to do the I,ve done x,y,z FOR YOU to my mother. It ended the day he told her "I,ve done YOUR dishes for you" She took the stack of plates and proceeded to frisbee them against a wall. Dad all alarmed goes. "What are you doing stop breaking the plates " and she replied. "well you said they were MY plates so I,ll do what I want with them"

My husband is always washing the pots “for me”. We do have a laugh about it though. I do however mock fainting when he gets the vacuum cleaner out and tells me to shut up haha.

Loving all your replies.

My dh has just filled the dishwasher, which he normally does after I have cooked but he’s also just washed up all the bits that don’t fit which normally languish on the side till morning when I do them.

Might not have been such a bad day after all. Lol.

This!

@reesewithoutaspoon

My dad used to do the I,ve done x,y,z FOR YOU to my mother. It ended the day he told her "I,ve done YOUR dishes for you" She took the stack of plates and proceeded to frisbee them against a wall. Dad all alarmed goes. "What are you doing stop breaking the plates " and she replied. "well you said they were MY plates so I,ll do what I want with them"

Love this but love my plates more.

My kids say this ALL THE TIME. I've emptied the dishwasher for you. I hung the washing out for you.

Because everything's mum's job.

Yup. On Tuesday I emptied, defrosted, sorted/chucked and re-filled our freezer so we (I) could do some batch cooking. Managed not to share news of this Herculean feat with DH.

On Thursday morning I woke up to "Did you see the fridge?" - because he'd re-arranged its contents and chucked out two bendy carrots and some Gousto sauces I had actually wanted to use.

Guess which one of us is seven months' pregnant with twins, PGP, heartburn rah rah?

I like the term "mannouncing".DH used to mannounce every minor household input, thankful I've trained him out of that rubbish.

Oooh I've got another bit to add that I just remembered.

Later on in the day, he'll wince and hold his back. I know better than to ask what's wrong.....he'll then announce "my back really hurts....think it's where I was bending over cleaning the bath earlier....."

I am only treated to this performance if I haven't been sufficiently impressed with his efforts.

I don’t mind if DH says something like “I’ve done household chore”, as long as he’s not blatantly fishing for praise, but it winds me up no end if he says “I’ve done this household chore for you “

As if he doesn’t live here too and doesn’t need cleaning or tidying up after like any other human living in the house would
Especially when he only does half a job. Like doing the laundry but leaving the dry clothes in a basket instead of putting them away in their drawers.

Ah yes, I remember this. "I've done the washing up for you, so you can cook." "I've put some washing on for you" (which I would then have to dry, fold up and put away and heaven forfend I had hung any of his stuff up in a way that so much as a collar would be creased). "I've hoovered for you" (implying that cleaning the rest of the house was my problem).

There's a reason we're not together any more.

My dad used to do the I,ve done x,y,z FOR YOU to my mother. It ended the day he told her "I,ve done YOUR dishes for you" She took the stack of plates and proceeded to frisbee them against a wall. Dad all alarmed goes. "What are you doing stop breaking the plates " and she replied. "well you said they were MY plates so I,ll do what I want with them"

That is genius I bet he never referred to "your" plates ever again!

Mine has recently complained bitterly that he doesn't get enough "strokes" for everything he does in the house. So my routine "You've made it look nice in here," when he hoovers and "Thank you for hanging out the towels," don't count, it seems. It needs to be more effusive. Medals, a saluting box, military brass band, perhaps.

Meanwhile he climbs oblivious into a freshly made bed once a week and thinks fresh towels, teatowels, dishcloths and loo rolls magic themselves to his hands. Strokes are one way things, it seems. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I took to leaving the trivets off the gas-on-glass hob when I clean it just to flag up that something had happened, but he just puts them back.