So he washed the sheets

[Wowhewashedthesheets]

and he cleaned the front door, and hoovered, and took the meter readings, and sorted the bin. He told me all this after I’d gone to the dentist in a strop because I was pissed off about something completely different and unrelated. I’ve just told him I have put loo rolls in his bathroom. He gave me an odd look, so I said well you told me you’d hoovered.

I’ve a good mind to keep this up right back at him so tonight it will be
“I’ve cooked you dinner” instead of “dinner is ready”
Tomorrow it will be “I’ve ordered , x y z on the online shopping for you” instead of it just appearing where he wants it.

I know I am not the only one who lives with this but today it’s really really annoyed me and I feel the need to say it somewhere.

Happy Friday everyone.

My personal favourite is the one where they upset you on an emotional level over some relationship issue or insult you before turning round and saying, "why are you upset, I do the washing up, don't I", expecting cleaning to make up for ignoring you/calling you a bitch/telling you you are just like your mother/etc.

Emotionally stunted male arseholes are, unfortunately, very common.

When my DH used to say this, my reply was 'I've ordered you some wood and nails' - he no longer sets it

LOVING "manouncement".

Mine returns from the supermarket with various random reduced things (things that we all like but would never be able to combine into a meal before they go off) and lays them out on the kitchen counter and summoning us, then demanding we say "thankyou" for each item whilst we chuckle at him. Then he is awfully pleased with himself.

I am renaming this the evening manouncement

Not my husband thankfully, but I am away with family. Took toddler to his dad as he had done a poo in his nappy and said he needed to be changed. He replied that he had been saying to his pregnant wife who is currently not feeling well and has been sick in the night that he needed his nappy changing. I was like what!! I just looked and him and said can't you do it? I could have smacked him. Idiot.

Mine actually says not to thank him if he's done something like Hoover as it's not "for me". However, he can be annoying in other ways - like he will load the dishwasher and spend about 15 hours tidying up but will always always leave "something" for me to finish - say a pan, or a baking tray. And he always leaves the bits of food in the sink after letting the water out. Bastard.

@Oldtiredfedup

My partner has a name for this: it’s a ‘Manouncement’

This is genius. I’m going to call DH out on his manouncements from now on

If, for example, I were to ask mine to get me a glass of water when he is sitting in his chair.

He will:
Throw his head back wearily, rest his head on the wall and close his eyes.
Raise his hands high and bring them down on the armrests.
Lever himself up heavily with pain filled groans, grunts and puffs.
Stumble, in an exaggerated manner, the four feet to the door.
Fall over his own feet with tiredness and weakness.
Walk into the door frame in his exhausted delirium.
Bang about for five minutes finding a glass and the bottle of water.
(There's apparently a gravity distortion in our kitchen)
Stumble the ten foot back, walking into the door this time.
He then deliberately places the heavy, heavy 225ml glass down with a sigh and a slosh.

Soooooo tired but I got to do this mammoth task for you... with my last breath... my love. See how much I love you.

The number of "oh, for fuck sakes" that have to be suppressed is epic.

I am going to end him one of these days, the overdramatic praise seeking wanker.

If he asks me for anything, I get it, in silence.

I have tried imitating his style but he looks at me like I have lost my mind.

DH mops the floor every Saturday morning

He then calls his mum to tell her this (or he accidentally mentions it )

She tells him he is amazing

Everyone is happy, and the floor is mopped

Can you involve his mum?

What do you want, a paper hat?
What did you want, a balloon/sticker/lollipop?

The term “manouncement” is brilliant, and so appropriate!

My bugbear is when I come to the end of a task, i.e. watering the plants tonight, am putting the hose away, almost done and I get the “honey, let me finish that for you”... I turn around and ask, innocently “why, do I look incapable?”.

I feel it now more than ever, micro managing household chores, yet who micro manages me? Wouldn’t it be lovely to be so oblivious to what needs doing! How wonderful to be able to switch off at the end of the day in the office and not see what needs doing at home! I often joke with close friends about running away to a female commune when the time is right, except we all agree that it’s less of a ‘joke’ these days

My husband doesn't say it about housework (probably because he rarely does any) but he's always saying 'I fed the baby for you." It's a ridiculous statement that makes no sense. Tonight I said to him" don't feed the baby for me. Feed him so he's not hungry. " Husband gave me a strange look but didn't say anything. Wonder if he will next time he feeds our baby.

@withinacceptabletolerances

When my dad does this my mum goes into the kitchen and gets some tin foil and a makes a circle with it and presents it to my dad as his 'medal'. At first it was a joke but now there's a hint of violence in the way she slaps it on his chest....

I love your mum.

'Manouncement' - brilliant!!!! 😂

I know I am not the only one who lives with this but today it’s really really annoyed me and I feel the need to say it somewhere.

You should be saying this to him. He should be told how absolutely fucking ridiculous and absurd he is.

There's always a Diana Ross cover version (especially if you need a soundtrack for the medal ceremony)
'I'm washing up!
I want the world to know, I'm gonna let it show."
"I mopped the floor.. (etc)"

Manouncement, Word of the decade

I usually hold my hands up to my mouth and blow a pretend bugle fanfare when I hear a mannouncement. Sometimes I can just tell from the look on his face that he’s about to launch into one (it’s kinda pride mixed with injured pride that I haven’t noticed his massive effort). It’s very satisfying when I manage the fanfare ahead of the mannouncement. He seldom proceeds with it.

My DDad who passed away recently, was very 'domesticated' for a manpossibly from merchant navy days, & he did all the cooking because otherwise he'd never get 'proper' Chinese food (true) - but he used to mop everywhere till his late 80's, and always leave the furniture/curtains hoiked-up/everything in a sort of 'disarray' to show that he'd done it... he did all the ironing, and left everything hanging around 'on display' for hours showning his handy-work... And change all the lightbulbs/mop heads/batteries etc - and always leave the packaging 'on show' so that we all knew he'd done everything. Miss him we do - not because of those things

Oh and DH always used to say "i'll help you in the kitchen" whenever he'd invited people around - or "just give me a list" - to be fair, it took me 20 years to say, ffs it's YOUR kitchen too, and do your own fkn list😬😬😬

@Beautiful3

Once my husband washed up his own plates and cutlery, then announced that he had done the washing up for me! I told him that he had in fact, washed up his own plate! I proceded to tell him that I had made dinner/cleaned the bathroom/made sandwhiches/cleaned the glass "for him". He didn't like that and hasn't said it since.

DS23 tells me he's washed the dishes, whenever I ask him to help with something - and when I go to the sink, he's washed HIS plate and cutlery. All my fault, spoiled him🤦🏻‍♀️

This used to really annoy me and DP just didn't understand why, so I started doing it back to him! I was dumbfounded that he actually likes this. I honestly think he just wouldn't notice if I didn't tell him.

My ex and our typical days... quite funny.... before I divorced him of course....

Me - left home at 4.30am to get a train to work (office day 3 x a week). Full 10 hour day, back off the train, picked kids up from dance classes, walk in the door exhausted at 8pm, got washing out the washer, stuck it in the dryer, put tea on, stuck exes tea in the microwave as he's still out, kids bathed, put to bed, hoovered downstairs, cleaned kitchen after tea. Sat down with a brew at 10pm. Shattered - off to bed.

Ex husband? Woke up at 7.30am, grandparents had kids overnight as wife's in the office today and school runs are a drain on me. Had a coffee and a breakfast at the local cafe, got to work for 9am. Left work at 5pm, picked up a Mcdonalds for tea as the kids are at dance class. Went to football with my mates, had a beer afterwards. Got home 10.30pm - really annoyed! Couldn't say good night to the kids as already in bed. (School night) and had to have a microwave dinner?! Wife already in bed fgs wanted to tell her about my football match. Left her a note though, "Emptied the bin, what on earth have you put in there its gross - can you put a new bag in there tomorrow"

I did this for ten years - then I left.....I wish I'd have come up with the tin foil medal idea but I'm not sure it would have shamed him as he treats his second wife just the same!

@shouldistop

if I'm annoyed at my husband about anything, he cleans the house. It's bizarre but maybe I'll start pretending I'm annoyed.

Tell him I'm annoyed with him, would you? Ring the doorbell, bring his own duster & mop.

My mum has been staying with me for the past 6 months, during which I learned about this routine. At 5pm every day, my sister will call my mum to tell her about all her cleaning, walk her round the house and show her how clean it is, and my mum will congratulate her on keeping house so nicely, and they’ll discuss how my sisters DH doesn’t do anything around the house even though he works and she did it all by herself (which I do agree is outrageous, but that’s beside the point.)

About 4 weeks ago after one of these calls my mum turned to me and goes, “you know, I don’t know what I’m supposed to compare it to. I’ve never seen it messy at all, she’s just showing me everything exactly the way it was yesterday.”

Instead of moaning about it just don't do it for him if you don't want to. No one is forcing you.