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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spent so much on a night out - regret.

211 replies

Fullodregret3728 · 16/08/2021 16:50

I'm 26 and trying to save for a deposit. I have £5000 saved so far
I don't usually drink. Haven't been out in 2 years. And only really drink in meals.

Went out with friends last night and I'm not sure if it's because I haven't had drink in a while but it really went to my head and I feel so embarrassed today after realising I was speaking to random people and I even bought a random woman a shot.
I wasn't even going to drink but after someone bought me a shot , I just kept buying more alcohol.
And I bought for other people too.

I just got so happy and jolly.
Checked my bank account, and I've spent £40. £40 that I didn't want to waste on alcohol.
Doesn't help I already have bad money anxiety.

I know I'm unreasonable to regret this but I just feel so much anxiety about how much I've spent after not drinking for 2 years.
I gave up alochol after hating who I become when drunk and I just feel so much regret and like I've reverted backwards.

OP posts:
DeflatedGinDrinker · 16/08/2021 19:31

My partner went out the other night and spent £220 on alcohol. You did good OP just spending £40. I just spent £39.99 on a deliveroo of junk food that will be gone by tonight Blush

DeflatedGinDrinker · 16/08/2021 19:32

That's 4 drinks round my area £10 each

MrsJBaptiste · 16/08/2021 19:33

@BillMasheen 😂 You win!

I'd be like you and be so cross that I had actually spent so much at garden centre! Drinks nog so much but plants...? 😂

FatJan · 16/08/2021 19:34

Haha, my first reaction upon learning how much you spent was 'FFS' but then I thought back to my mid-twenties when I was saving for a deposit and got a round of shots in in a London pub and it came to £50 (blardy London) which would make me roll my eyes now but back than it ruined my night.

I'm fortunate enough these days to have a higher threshold for what I consider to be 'overspending' but I remember when it was much lower, so I get the regret at spending £40.

Honestly, all you can do is let it go. You can't go back in time. Money is there to be exchanged for goods, services and experiences. In the case of the latter, it's normal to feel regret because once it's over both money and experience are gone. Don't beat yourself up. Let yourself live a little :)

paddlingon · 16/08/2021 19:36

Another voice expecting you to have spent at least north of 200, you are doing super well OP.

Lipsandlashes · 16/08/2021 19:36

I thought you were going to say you blew your £5K savings on alcohol. It’s forty quid! Give yourself a break

mumofthemonsters808 · 16/08/2021 19:38

Did you mean to type 400, how did you manage a full night out on forty quid ?, more puzzled that this included shots, was it a working mans club type place ?, even then I’d clear more than forty pound. I’m no big drinker but no way would drinking and taxis home amount to 40 pound and I’m puzzled that you’re upset about this.All very bizarre.

SaltySeaAir · 16/08/2021 19:39

Wait until you have to spend £40 on the babysitter before even leaving the house 😂

Honestly, don't worry! We all need to let our hair down every now and then! It's so important to have fun, it sounds like you had a great time. Well done on your savings so far 👍

bevelino · 16/08/2021 19:41

This absolutely has to be a wind up.

Forstarters · 16/08/2021 19:41

You need to get your anxiety dealt with or you’ll find life has passed you by whilst saving. Life is for living too.

Why have you not been out in 2 years?!!

berryhead2013 · 16/08/2021 19:43

You have the beer fear it will pass and 40 poond is feck all you could have easily spent that on a meal
Out and meeting randoms is the joy of any night out embrace it try not to worry xx

OldMamaOf3 · 16/08/2021 19:57

Everyone's allowed a bump in the road, don't beat yourself up about it as it's done now, it could've been double or triple the amount.
Draw a line under it, learn from the experience and if it makes you feel better maybe sell 40 quids worth of stuff that you don't use or need anymore to even the guilt bit out...... well done on saving that amount of money. I've got a 26 year old DD, and I'd a) be very proud of her and b) would be sitting with her with a cuppa and probably having a giggle re:drunken antics. Whats done is done, onwards and upwards Smile

PerditaNitt · 16/08/2021 19:59

OP, well done on saving up £5k in your 20s (which is a time when a lot of people aren’t learning about getting into the habit of saving).

I like the suggestion from the PPs of setting aside a £20-30 treat fund per month so that you can have treats without the guilt (it sounds as though drinking isn’t always your thing, so maybe a cinema or meal out is a treat you can have where you will feel more in control and less likely to spend more than you wish)

IcedPurple · 16/08/2021 20:00

@Fluffyandsilly

I thought you were going to say you spent £200 or something!

Don't beat yourself up. You've done very well ins saving that money for a deposit. This is a teeny, tiny blip so give yourself a break.

If you don't like the person you are when you drink then you don't have to do it.

Me too!

I'm not a big spender and often feel guility about spending on a 'big night out', but £40 really is nothing. You'd be hard pressed to get away with much less on a decent night out, even without taking into account taxis.

SkinnyMirror · 16/08/2021 20:04

I just got so happy and jolly.

This jumped out at me. £40 isn't a lot and life is for living. Focus on what a great night you had.

Flowerpops22 · 16/08/2021 20:10

I'm not going to admit what I spend on Amazon weekly Blush

Don't feel bad about £40

Gilly12345 · 16/08/2021 20:10

Put this in perspective it is £40 not £400, chill out this is a one off and not a weekly event.

Put it down to experience and it sounds like you had a fun night out.

Goodthings · 16/08/2021 20:11

Good point about the babysitters

Lotusmonster · 16/08/2021 20:14

Slightly different view from others on this thread. I admire you for being able to recognise that you don’t like yourself when you’re drunk and making a conscious decision not to drink for 2 years, it’s actually an impressive thing. I don’t think you should deduce from a single nights relapse that this is going backwards forever. It was a mistake perhaps and you need to forgive yourself the odd mistake….you’re human. Maybe just reflect on the experience and decide how you want to move forward in a way that’s happy and healthy for you!

Goodthings · 16/08/2021 20:14

The last time I went out I spent £20 on a ticket, £30 in taxis, £50 for babysitter, £20 on drinks so over £100 and no food! I got home starving and gutted when I added it up.

youdoyoutoday · 16/08/2021 20:15

40 quid?? Lol!
I once spent nearly 500 on a night out which included a load of drugs and a vat of booze!! That's what you should regret, not 40 quid, give yourself a break, sell some stuff on ebay or vinted and you could easily make that back.

Cheeseplantboots · 16/08/2021 20:18

God I wish I could go out and only spend £40! I thought you were going to say £200 or something!

Oogachuckachopsy · 16/08/2021 20:19

OP, it’s peanuts. Calm down.

Where I live it’d only buy four pints and a packet of crisps.

ShimmyYay · 16/08/2021 20:20

Can you teach me how to go out get drunk buy other people drinks ALL for £40!

Oogachuckachopsy · 16/08/2021 20:22

Also, you seem quite happy to spend money if you’re booking holidays and clothes shopping… maybe work out how much you’re willing to blow each month and stick to it. It might stop you ‘panicking’ over small expenses.