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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spent so much on a night out - regret.

211 replies

Fullodregret3728 · 16/08/2021 16:50

I'm 26 and trying to save for a deposit. I have £5000 saved so far
I don't usually drink. Haven't been out in 2 years. And only really drink in meals.

Went out with friends last night and I'm not sure if it's because I haven't had drink in a while but it really went to my head and I feel so embarrassed today after realising I was speaking to random people and I even bought a random woman a shot.
I wasn't even going to drink but after someone bought me a shot , I just kept buying more alcohol.
And I bought for other people too.

I just got so happy and jolly.
Checked my bank account, and I've spent £40. £40 that I didn't want to waste on alcohol.
Doesn't help I already have bad money anxiety.

I know I'm unreasonable to regret this but I just feel so much anxiety about how much I've spent after not drinking for 2 years.
I gave up alochol after hating who I become when drunk and I just feel so much regret and like I've reverted backwards.

OP posts:
Topia · 16/08/2021 18:35

Honestly I opened this thread thinking it’d be more like £250 or even more. And you’re young!! God I used to blow so much more on a night out than that, so much more it makes me shudder Blush

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 16/08/2021 18:35

For crying out loud OP, I thought you were gonna come on and say you'd spent £1,000 or something! To me £40 is a cheap night out - chill out!! What's the point of saving up to enjoy life if you're going to self flagellate over a minuscule amount for a night of fun with friends.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 16/08/2021 18:36

@Fullodregret3728

I literally would have a heart attack at the thought some of you have spent hundreds of pounds Grin I don't know what causes this money anxiety , Maybe it's self employment and the fact money is not consistent that causes the anxiety perhaps?
As someone who self employed or on zero hour contracts... Not to this level. You are obviously doing financially ok when you amnaged to savr that well
letsmakethishappen · 16/08/2021 18:41

I wish I was like you OP I could have been rich!!Grin

Icantrememberthenameoftheartis · 16/08/2021 18:43

Blimey £40 is nothing! In my 20’s I would go out for the night and the next day realise I’d spent £200! And I couldn’t afford it and it would often be cash withdrawn on a credit card. I worked in central London in trendy companies and drinks after work were a regular thing and getting home in the early hours were the norm.

If you spend money you can’t afford on a regular basis or get that drunk frequently then you have a probably. Once in two years just chalk it up as a night you got carried away and forget about it.

sloutside · 16/08/2021 18:43

40 quid isn't that bad. You haven't been out in 2 years.
Having said that, I have money anxiety too. I have plenty of money actually but worry about every penny. I think it's from seeing how my parents were with money when I was growing up. There wasn't really enough money and my mother was constantly scrimping and saving and counting how much cash she had left for the rest of the month.
Have you experienced similar which might be triggering your worries?

Winemewhynot · 16/08/2021 18:44

My god all that angst for £40 😂😂😂

I thought you was going to say about £400!!

Winemewhynot · 16/08/2021 18:46

Wish I could spend £40 on a night out! My taxi home would be that easy! Pornstars a tenner a go, nice Pinot about the same, and then whatever takes your fancy in the kebab shop on the way home. Eeee I want a night out!

HintofVintagePink · 16/08/2021 18:47

Wow! £40 just about covers the taxi fares and the pre-taxi bottle of Prosecco in this house! If you’d have said £500 I might have been more worried…

Give yourself a break OP!

Balgoresboy · 16/08/2021 18:52

''Checked my bank account, and I've spent £40. £40 that I didn't want to waste on alcohol.''

40?? wtf-I was expecting you to say around 200 quid. Most people would spend in excess of 40 quid on a night out especially with booze.

I sometimes think mn is completely detached from the world I am on.

negrilbaby · 16/08/2021 18:52

40 quid over two years equates to about 38p a week! Not a massive spend Smile

AlpacaWhacker · 16/08/2021 18:53

@VeganCow

£40?! Was preparing to read you'd spent £££s! I used to spend £20 and that was 30 years ago Grin
Exactly what I was coming on to say, except 35 years ago. How much is that 20 even worth now I wonder?

£60. Ok!

loulous1985 · 16/08/2021 19:02

40 quid, is that all?! When I saw the title I was expecting to see you'd spent hundreds on a night out 😂

SmileyClare · 16/08/2021 19:04

You need to budget for socialising. No one likes a miser who's reluctant to buy drinks or doesn't join in buying rounds.

You're being incredibly tight if you're eaten up with regret over buying someone a drink!

smallgoon · 16/08/2021 19:06

Is this a parody? I can easily spend that on a meal without alcohol. I wouldn't be so down on yourself.

DarlingFell · 16/08/2021 19:07

Where did you go out that you had such a big night, bought randoms drinks and still had change from 50 quid for a taxi home? Last time I had such a cheap night out would have been c 1991 at a student night at Ritzy’s. Pat yourself on the back for ONLY spending 40 quid, amazing 👍🏼

ohthatbloodycat · 16/08/2021 19:16

Seriously, OP?? Confused

TatianaBis · 16/08/2021 19:18

I once bought an £800 coat when I was a student. 30 years ago now. £40 is nothing.

I still have it.

Gwenhwyfar · 16/08/2021 19:20

@SmileyClare

You need to budget for socialising. No one likes a miser who's reluctant to buy drinks or doesn't join in buying rounds.

You're being incredibly tight if you're eaten up with regret over buying someone a drink!

Rounds are really not compulsory. I have plenty of friends who prefer to buy their own like me. They also make no sense if there's more than two or three of you and you're only having a few drinks. Silly macho thing.
ImInStealthMode · 16/08/2021 19:20

@lanbro

£40?! Don't beat yourself up...I went for brunch recently with 2 friends and we ended up out till 10pm, when we totted it up the next day we'd spent £400 between us! But we don't do it often, it's been a crap 18 months so was worth it

That sounds like my kind of brunch Grin

OP what's done is done now, and £40 in the grand scheme of things isn't going to break you. Did you have a good time is the important thing? That's how I try to justify a big spend on a day or night out; if it's not put you into debt and you had a good time then it's worth the spend. You can't take it with you x

(Also jealous that you got blind drunk on £40! My regular haunt is over £8 for a glass of wine Blush)

evtheria · 16/08/2021 19:21

What if you set aside money that’s specifically for ‘socialising & shopping’ - eg £50-100 a month? Then if/when you spend it you know it’s coming out of your fun money, that’s what the pot’s for, it’s not from your savings stash or whatever.

thelastgoldeneagle · 16/08/2021 19:23

You're young, it was one night, it was only £40 - could have been hundreds - and you've saved loads already! Don't be harsh on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day!

Figgygal · 16/08/2021 19:23

I do get the money anxiety in a way after months of being at home and going from week to week without spending money it’s been quite a shock for the last couple of months going out and living normally again

But life is for living not hiding in your house accumulating wealth to the exclusion of everything else even when saving up

£40 as others have said really isn’t much

grapewine · 16/08/2021 19:24

@lanbro

£40?! Don't beat yourself up...I went for brunch recently with 2 friends and we ended up out till 10pm, when we totted it up the next day we'd spent £400 between us! But we don't do it often, it's been a crap 18 months so was worth it
Sounds so great!
Booboosweet · 16/08/2021 19:28

Jesus I just walk out the door and 40 disappears from my pocket

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