Spent so much on a night out - regret.

[Fullodregret3728]

I'm 26 and trying to save for a deposit. I have £5000 saved so far
I don't usually drink. Haven't been out in 2 years. And only really drink in meals.

Went out with friends last night and I'm not sure if it's because I haven't had drink in a while but it really went to my head and I feel so embarrassed today after realising I was speaking to random people and I even bought a random woman a shot.
I wasn't even going to drink but after someone bought me a shot , I just kept buying more alcohol.
And I bought for other people too.

I just got so happy and jolly.
Checked my bank account, and I've spent £40. £40 that I didn't want to waste on alcohol.
Doesn't help I already have bad money anxiety.

I know I'm unreasonable to regret this but I just feel so much anxiety about how much I've spent after not drinking for 2 years.
I gave up alochol after hating who I become when drunk and I just feel so much regret and like I've reverted backwards.

You’ve got the beer fear £40 is nothing just cut yourself some slack

I just kept buying more alcohol. And I bought for other people too.

It must have been a very cheap club to only spend £40 buying drinks for multiple people

Also. Just so you are not too embarrassed. I am the weirdo speaking to strangers even when sober😂 At least you have an excuse

I thought you were. Going to say you were buying bottles of Moet or sometging. £40 is nothing on a night out I hope it doesnt put you off socialising again as you need to ket your hair down now and again.

Christ, I was expecting you to say you spent 700 quid. Let the 40 quid go.

I couldn't get myself drunk on 40 pounds...let alone be buying drinks for others...where can you get such a cheap night out?

I don’t even think I could get pissed on £40 in a pub with their stupid prices these days!

Don’t beat yourself up, your allowed a blow out once in a while, it’s not like it’s every week (looks at dh fags cigars)

I can't believe you had a night out on £40! I'm saving for a house deposit but still budget fun money

Use it as a reminder for next time. It was £40 not £400 so in future remember that and plan ahead. Do you budget for your spending in advance? I find if I do that I don't get anxiety. So before I go out I'll decide roughly how much I want to spend e.g. £50 for lunch, £80 for dinner, and then I don't feel bad about spending it.

I live in the North West but went for a night out in North Wales and drinks seemed to be £3 each haha

When I was saving for a deposit I had things set up to allow me to spend some money without terrible guilt. So savings for a deposit (and as you're self employed tax savings too) go out on the first of the month. Then I had a pot for yearly costs - car insurance etc, which I took the average cost of all the things and divided them by 12 to give the monthly amount to put in. Then the rest of my money was split into bills - which also all went out on 1st month, and then I had a specific budget for fun things so I didn't feel like I couldn't have any fun.

@Fullodregret3728

Yes thought I was being silly I think it's because I'm self-employed aswell as it's a quiet time of year for me so it just adds to the money anxiety haha

Change your thinking, quickly!

You didn;t waste a lot of money that you should have been saving, You don't have to regret, regret, regret.

You took some time out for yourself and £40 isn't that much for a blowout.

You have to live... and that includes enjoying life as it really is.

You'll only hurt yourself in the long run if you try to be so controlling - over any aspect of your life.

Chillax - or whatver the word for that is these days.

You'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow. Not sure where you went out but £40 is pretty minor for a night out. You spent your money and had a good time, that's what it's there for!

Hi Op,

I'm the same age as you and £40 is nothing for a good night out with(I hope) good company as long as you have it. You haven't undone 2 years of work by one night out costing £40.

I get the pressure when your trying to save for a house but you can't let life pass you by either.

@Fullodregret3728

Yes thought I was being silly I think it's because I'm self-employed aswell as it's a quiet time of year for me so it just adds to the money anxiety haha

With all due respect, you ARE being silly. Or have a irrational level of anxiety about spending money and/or not being in control. Something to think about perhaps. It can happen easily, I got a bit this way in the year since March 2020. Oddly enough because of covid restrictions etc I was managing to save quite a bit for once and became a bit obsessive about not spending money. I realised in a few months ago that I was being a bit joyless and stingy and have gone back to a more balanced approach. And one good night out is not the deathknell of your good saving habits, just like one large slice of cake isn't the end of good eating habits. Relax, enjoy your life and save without becoming a prisoner of it

£40 is 3 drinks up here

Crikey give yourself a break, I spend that that on a cheap night out at the bingo with my Mum.
Honestly, don't beat yourself up about it.

‘Hangxiety’ is a thing. Here’s what it says at www.drinkaware.co.uk.

Alcohol’s anxiety hangover

The way your body processes alcohol can also have a direct effect on your mood.

As your body processes the alcohol you’ve drunk, the sedative effects wear off. You can begin to experience alcohol withdrawal symptoms similar to feelings people who are dependent on alcohol may have.

These symptoms can be psychological such as feeling depressed or anxious. Many people feel like this the morning after drinking alcohol. This is because they are withdrawing from the effects of alcohol.

This feeling often goes hand in hand with physical hangover symptoms such as a headache or upset stomach.

For some people, these feelings of anxiety or agitation may be barely noticeable. But if anxiety is already an issue for you, experiencing withdrawal from alcohol can make your symptoms feel worse.

If you’re prone to social phobia, you might find yourself worrying about what you said or did the night before. If you suffer from generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)1, you may wake in the middle of night (as the alcohol wears off) and lie awake worrying and feeling stressed.

So -

Don’t feel too pulled down by your feelings today - it’s a physical effect of the alcohol. It sounds like you had a fun night! :-)

I was expecting you to say around 400, not 40. Give yourself a break, if you can afford it (whether you wanted to spend it or not), it's not that bad

Well anxiety isn't rational sometimes. £40 is nothing. Honestly in the scheme of things. But please don't make your life joyless by taking away pleasure from treating yourself. I'm suffering from cancer. I wish I'd spent more on enjoying myself in my younger years and said yes to life more.

I wanna know where you went that you could be buying shots for strangers AND drinks for yourself and only spent £40!

@mrsbyers

You’ve got the beer fear £40 is nothing just cut yourself some slack

Take cash with you next time and only spend cash. Then you won't overspend. Fgs stop buying other ppl drinks! Unless they bought you drinks!

And also cut yourself some slack. It was a good night out, one you do rarely. Shake your head at your mad drunk self and forgive yourself. £40 is a cheap night out for me and I stick to two or three drinks!!! By time got taxi home - argh....

@YerAWizardHarry

Christ I wish I spent only £40 on a night out. Last night out I had I spent £150

May I ask how? I usually spend around 30 and wouldn't feel bad about 40, but I do wonder how people spend over a hundred. Was it food for multiple people and taxis?

That is less than 1% of your deposit, that 1% could be the difference between sticking to the savings plan or really blowing when you finally did go out.

Do an Elsa, let it go.