AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?

[christyt114]

DH says I am.

DD (12) (but looks about 14) has these shorts which I got for her to exercise in but she says they're comfortable and likes them so wears them out and about.

Yesterday she wore them with a short top when she walked to meet her friend. They got a Costa then walked back to ours.

DH said she was "asking for trouble" because she was wearing the shorts and wants me to tell her she can't wear them out and about.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

(She made it home safely by the way).

Who's BU?

@PurpleDaisies

Are the men walking around your town on a rainy summer day in budgie smugglers and a crop top. If not why not.

I often see men topless in shorts on a hot day.

How attractive.

How attractive.

It’s not what I’d choose to wear if I was a man but it’s up to them. Those grey jogging bottoms loads of blokes wear are horrible too but they can wear what they want without being policed by people who have different tastes to them.

I think you should let her wear them but have a chat about the reactions she might get and how to deal with them. I'd also ask your DH to explain his comments further.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

I get what he’s saying and it’s only natural to want to protect your child and worry about them getting hurt, abducted, assaulted etc. But in reality paedos or rapists use what people wear as an excuse but they would do it anyway. You are also more likely to be assaulted by someone you know than a stranger.

Females will get unwanted attention all of the time. I would say the more revealing your outfit the more a man feels like he is entitled to comment or approach you IME.

But lots of girls go around wearing things like that so I would probably let her.
At her age it is more likely that she will get trouble from girls her age than men.

My retired neighbour spends the entire summer topless in shorts, he seems to choose to constantly hang out in the front garden which is totally un fenced and right by the pavement, rather than his back garden. It does get a bit tiresome seeing his hairy back and ever redder stomach day in day out but it's fully his choice. I don't have any issues with his legs even when it's particularly hot and he hoiks his short legs up. I'd not like to see him wearing his budgie smugglers as in men they show off protruding genitals - an issue women aren't faced with.

Made me think of this sketch:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=JO-HI1hGcpM

No way, she must look like she’s only wearing underwear.

Totally inappropriate for a child.

Girls wear these tight shorts cropped tops to attract boys simples - if they wanted to they could wear cool floaty dresses but want to attract a mate - hence showing off their curves etc - they don’t want the attention of men but boys their own age

You can get a slightly longer version of them ordering from Next Online. I have researched this for the same reasons! These ones literally go along the bum cheek when walking around!

I think the shorts are fine for a 12 year old depending on the time and place.

I own those exact shorts and I’m 34. I wear them to ride my bike and run. I might wear them to a coffee shop if I had just finished exercising.

Due to COVID, the 12 year old kids in my class have been coming to school in PE kit on PE days and a few pupils have turned up in those types of shorts. Honestly, I had a little inward thought that it wasn’t school appropriate. I wouldn’t wear my short Lycra shorts to teach PE at school, I wear full leggings and a loose fitting T-shirt. I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to show that much of my body in a school environment. I chose not to say anything to the pupils about the shorts though because we’d asked them to wear PE kit and that’s exactly what it is.

I own those exact shorts and I’m 34. I wear them to ride my bike and run. I might wear them to a coffee shop if I had just finished exercising.

Watch out! You’re not showing consideration to others by having your flesh hanging out apparently.

Oh silly me of course female arses are in no way sexualised, these are totally different to budgie smugglers. And men are wearing budgie smugglers in Costa all the time.
So empowerful!

@PurpleDaisies

I own those exact shorts and I’m 34. I wear them to ride my bike and run. I might wear them to a coffee shop if I had just finished exercising.

Watch out! You’re not showing consideration to others by having your flesh hanging out apparently.

Luckily I tend to move fairly quickly when I do have them on, so I shouldn’t offend their sensibilities for too long! 🤣

But the arse is covered in these shorts - they are not in Speedo's aka budgie smugglers which are shaped like briefs not boxers, but the area usjt even the problem as long as it is indeed covered. As pointed out, the anatomy of a male is different which is why a less tight short is expected socially, just as society expects a female to wear at least a bandeau or sports top in public. You cannot directly compare the 2 for that reason.

Yep arse cheeks hanging out is gross and no one needs to do it. Whatever sex or age they are.

@Goatinthegarden you PE teachers can get places more quickly than most!

@Scotsmaw

He is my 16 yo wears similar outfits as do a lot of her friends. Men are the problem here not your dd.

Never understood this.

Is it age appropriate?
Is it occasion appropriate?

If she is wearing that with a crop top she looks like a prostitute and sending that message to everyone. In a gym - it’s perfect! Outdoor? You really need to ask 😔

Of course it’s men’s fault but why do you need to provoke them? 😔

@Tuscancat

Yep arse cheeks hanging out is gross and no one needs to do it. Whatever sex or age they are.

But again, they are covered in these shorts!!!

m.jdsports.co.uk/product/black-nike-training-pro-3-shorts/16070416/?cm_mmc=googleshop--google--shopping-_-pla&istCompanyId=9c5cf6f7-3142-4f9f-be57-2fce9c67adfd&istFeedId=014e8b49-620d-4e56-9e87-79529c403af2&istItemId=iaxtqttql&istBid=tzxt&gclid=CjwKCAjw9uKIBhA8EiwAYPUS3A-4UmLnMNjrk72HQOVGW0QI4qofXo3AQIS3Qf8sjHBHgOHI2CHefBoCF5kQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&awc=1431_1629025836_6d5b5cd4adec1a5c366852279375b993&utm_source=affiliate&utm_medium=Sub+Networks&utm_campaign=Skimlinks

Her arse is covered.

Of course it’s men’s fault but why do you need to provoke them?

Your misogyny is on display here.

Of course it’s men’s fault but why do you need to provoke them? 😔

There is quite a high level of shite in this thread but this wee gem really takes the biscuit.

Why do you need to provoke them

Fucking hell.

I’m old enough to understand that wearing clothes like that is likely to lead to an increase in interactions with sexist arseholes who think that what a woman wears invites certain types of attention or behaviour from men.

A 12 year old isn’t.

I wouldn’t let her wander about in those for that reason.

(For clarity, I am firmly in the camp that no one should be harassed for walking about in shorts, but that isn’t the world we’re in. Yet.)

I saw a girl, looked about 14/15 wearing this whole outfit (not necessarily same brand) this morning on her own walking across a field - immediately I thought 'she looks like she should either be in the gym or on the beach' but then thought, you prob wear less on the beach anyway so it's a tough call.

@spongedod

Of course it’s men’s fault but why do you need to provoke them? 😔

There is quite a high level of shite in this thread but this wee gem really takes the biscuit.

Why do you need to provoke them

Fucking hell.

I'm surprised you left out the prostitute comment from that. I actually couldn't find any words to respond to that post.

There's a fine line between: 'I want boys to look at me' and 'I'm not interested in what ppl think of my body'.

I guess it boils down to a safety issue and her age.