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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?

378 replies

christyt114 · 15/08/2021 11:33

DH says I am.

DD (12) (but looks about 14) has these shorts which I got for her to exercise in but she says they're comfortable and likes them so wears them out and about.

Yesterday she wore them with a short top when she walked to meet her friend. They got a Costa then walked back to ours.

DH said she was "asking for trouble" because she was wearing the shorts and wants me to tell her she can't wear them out and about.

He reckons a paedophile will look at her and think "her parents don't care about her" and will abduct her.

(She made it home safely by the way).

Who's BU?

AIBU to let 12 yo DD go out wearing these shorts?
OP posts:
spongedod · 15/08/2021 15:14

[quote Unsure33]@Bretoony

Everyone knows how paedophiles think ? There are stories constantly in the papers .

He was only having a clumsy way of expressing his fears and protecting his daughter .

It’s because there are weirdos out there that we have to think about things we would rather not .

Of course in an ideal world we could all go out wearing whatever we want at anytime of the night or day completely on our own .

But life is not like that unfortunately .[/quote]

Aye, because a pair of shorts makes the difference to a paedophile Hmm

Wolframhart · 15/08/2021 15:15

This is something I am struggling with right now. Not those shorts in particular, but not wanting to police my daughter’s clothing while at the same time knowing that what she chooses simply for comfort may be viewed differently by others. She is a very “young” almost 13 year old who is not remotely ready for the attention of the male gaze. She also happened to inherit my intense curves and her father’s short stature making her a real-life anime figure. She isn’t in to looks or fashion or anything like that.. Just wants to throw on something comfortable and go. She really only bothers to brush her hair once a day because we insist. I don’t want her to lose that innocence. I don’t want her to experience the things men might say to her. Yet, I don’t want to tell her to change outfit either because she shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than comfort.

Unsure33 · 15/08/2021 15:15

Just a question

In an ideal world it would not matter what women wear .

But if that is the case why do prostitutes not dress in maxi buffet dresses and doc martins with no make up ?

notacooldad · 15/08/2021 15:16

It is exercise wear not street wear
It is these days!
Every age group wears things that's associated with gyn and exercise classes as every day wear from trainers to t shirts, hoodies and shorts.

ExpressDelivery · 15/08/2021 15:16

So this 12yo should be allowed to walk home alone after dark too? Obviously she should be perfectly safe and it wouldn't be her fault if she wasn't....

Unsure33 · 15/08/2021 15:19

@Wolframhart

I agree . I used to tell my daughter she was beautiful all the time and if you have a nice figure I don’t think you should hide it completely , after all you are only young once . But on a couple of occasions I might have said , that’s a bit too much , too short plus low cut . And luckily she would go back and look in the mirror and re-think .

Luckily that was usually enough . We never had any massive rows over it .

Bretoony · 15/08/2021 15:20

@ExpressDelivery

So this 12yo should be allowed to walk home alone after dark too? Obviously she should be perfectly safe and it wouldn't be her fault if she wasn't....
Are you saying that a woman walking alone after dark is reponsible for being attacked?

I dispair 😔

chorizoTapas · 15/08/2021 15:22

while I completely agree that no woman or girl is asking for trouble, I understand what the husband is trying to say. in an ideal world, we should be able to wear whatever we want but the fact of the matter is that right now we are living in a misogynistic society where men think it's their right to take advantage of women and clothes may influence some of their advances...however, id tell the husband that girls get abducted and abused on a daily basis regardless of what they wear because men are pricks so why should we change what we want to wear because of them.. wankers

Tuscancat · 15/08/2021 15:22

Some posters live in fantasy land @PurpleDaisies I've explained more than once if you genuinely don't understand different clothes are appropriate in different situations then there is no helping you. Keep making a tit of yourself.

ExpressDelivery · 15/08/2021 15:24

Are you saying that a woman walking alone after dark is reponsible for being attacked?

No, I'm not. That's exactly my point. Of course she's not responsible, but most would still avoid doing it. And I'm going to say the vast majority wouldn't let a 12yo DD do it.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2021 15:24

@Tuscancat

Some posters live in fantasy land *@PurpleDaisies* I've explained more than once if you genuinely don't understand different clothes are appropriate in different situations then there is no helping you. Keep making a tit of yourself.
You’ve explained that you have an outdated view that gym wear should only be work to the gym. All the people I’ve seen wearing gym clothes elsewhere clearly disagree with you.

Fashions change.

EmergencyPoncho · 15/08/2021 15:24

She should wear whatever she wants. And teenage girls around here wear similar.

Tuscancat · 15/08/2021 15:25

@bretoony that is clearly not what the pp is saying. They are saying that is not the world we live in. They are being realistic. That doesn't make it the fault of 12 year old girls.

Branleuse · 15/08/2021 15:26

what some of you people dont seem to get, is that you are giving mixed messages to children. There are undoubtedly things that you ALL do to keep yourself safe from men, and yet are telling people that its victim blaming if they encourage their daughters to take these measures

BadMotherLover · 15/08/2021 15:26

I don't think 'asking for trouble' is appropriate, but is was a private comment in their home...I agree that that outfit may attract unwanted attention from teenage boys and maybe worse...banning is never a good idea, she will start hiding these choices from you....Maybe offer for you and DH to walk with her into town in your Gym Kit? Should kill things.....

Tuscancat · 15/08/2021 15:26

We aren't talking about gym clothes though are we? We are talking about a tiny pair of shorts that look like pants. Not the same thing.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2021 15:27

So much misogyny here.

Women who wear gym style shorts to Costa are not being considerate of others by daring to show their legs in public. I really didn’t expect to read that in 2021.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2021 15:27

@Tuscancat

We aren't talking about gym clothes though are we? We are talking about a tiny pair of shorts that look like pants. Not the same thing.
They are gym shorts.

You think they look like pants.

That does not make them pants.

They are gym shorts.

notacooldad · 15/08/2021 15:29

Poor kid has only popped into Costa with her mates and it's all kicking off on MN!!
🤣🤣🤣

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2021 15:30

@Tuscancat

We aren't talking about gym clothes though are we? We are talking about a tiny pair of shorts that look like pants. Not the same thing.
Here you go..the under armour version for a bit of variety. Lots of brands do that style waist band now. It doesn’t make them pants.

m.jdsports.co.uk/women/womens-clothing/brand/under-armour/sport/training/p/shorts/?gclid=CjwKCAjw9uKIBhA8EiwAYPUS3L_g2NX5JdOJIoHlNw9PPKeEZqvV8Sd9pctxXuzW9042M6QMNaGA-BoCU48QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Tuscancat · 15/08/2021 15:30

I see you @PurpleDaisies

ExpressDelivery · 15/08/2021 15:30

@Tuscancat

We aren't talking about gym clothes though are we? We are talking about a tiny pair of shorts that look like pants. Not the same thing.
Quite and there was us thinking we'd made progress when girls were no longer required to wear PE knickers...
PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2021 15:30

@Tuscancat

I see you *@PurpleDaisies*
Meaning what?
Viviennemary · 15/08/2021 15:32

No. Not appropriate for general outdoor wear IMHO.

PussinKahoots · 15/08/2021 15:35

Sorry but no way would my 12 yo be allowed out the house in them.

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