To say yes, I am a part of this village?

draghimtothemits · 2021-08-15T06:33:55+00:00

I recently joined the local village FB group having recently moved here. I asked a question about what local hospital people generally used since it isn't clear which one is the local one. A few responses there, then a woman asked 'where are you then dear'. I explained I was in one of the new build houses at the back. The responses are out there! 6 different people falling over themselves to say I'm NOT a part of the village. One comment said 'that's not x village, that's the outskirts' I said my address is this very village. He replied 'no, that simply isn't possible' [confused] Another response said 'you're not one of us! You should be banned'. Granted, that comment for a few laughing face reactions, but not a soul has come on to say that yes, I am a part of the village. AIBU to think I am a part of the village?!

RedHelenB · 15/08/2021 07:36

Maybe not right now.As you say you are on the outskirts. Over time it will all bed in though.

FuckingFabulous · 15/08/2021 07:37

A lot of people have trouble accepting village expansions. If that land wasn't part of the village before the build, lots of people will think of it as a different settlement. If it was, you'll still get some people who think the houses that were standing was the village and the new development is just that - a new development that isn't part of their traditional area.

Some people don't care. Some very much do. Why do you care about being considered part of the village rather than part of a new place? Do you want to be part of somewhere where literally nobody said you belonged? It sounds very very set in its ways!

Mn753 · 15/08/2021 07:39

Lines and lines and lines

OldScrappyAndHungry · 15/08/2021 07:40

Ah the joys of village life!

SofiaMichelle · 15/08/2021 07:42

I don't think I'd judge whether I'm part of a village based upon whether people on Facebook say I am or not.

They type of people who'd be all over a village Facebook page aren't the type whose opinion I'd really care for - I'm sure they'll enjoy thinking they're in charge of some aspect of village life.

If there have been new homes built you can bet your bottom dollar that these lot will have been campaigning against the planning permission and will likely now have a grudge against anyone moving in.

Deleting Facebook, or at least ignoring it, wouldn't hurt.

drpet49 · 15/08/2021 07:42

They are pathetic. Small minded idiots.

EdithWeston · 15/08/2021 07:42

It takes about 20 years to stop being seen as a newbie, and about 40 years to be fully accepted.

Your DC however are likely to be accepted way before that, if they go to school in the village.

MoreRainThanAnyYet · 15/08/2021 07:44

Make a few comments about dog poo. They’ll soon take you to their hearts.

PegasusReturns · 15/08/2021 07:45

In circumstances like this it’s always best to get the posters to clarify what they mean, they might just be in a tiz about the semantics they might want to oust you. If the latter they need to own the absurdity of their position.

“My address is Red Road, Blue Village, are you asking that I be removed from the group because you think I’m an outsider”.

Leftphalange · 15/08/2021 07:46

It's village life I'm afraid. The residents likely were heavily against the expansion but obviously the development has gone ahead anyway. You just need to give it time

MarmiteyCrumpets · 15/08/2021 07:48

This is a local shop for local people.

Toomuchspinning · 15/08/2021 07:50

Do a litter pick, volunteer at the village yard sale, pitch up to the carols, and nod hello to everyone. You’ll be ok. The new builds here on the road out the village….. we tend to say “the new houses on the way out”. So I suppose we classify them as part of our village but not necessarily in the village. Not that makes any difference how I treat people as I’m not a postcode wanker!

Original poster

draghimtothemits · 15/08/2021 07:50

@MoreRainThanAnyYet

Make a few comments about dog poo. They’ll soon take you to their hearts.

Haha. I spit my morning tea out reading this

OP posts:

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 15/08/2021 07:51

Oh ignore them. There's a few like that where I live.

If your family hasn't been in the village for 500 years, breeding with the family next door for 500 years then you aren't local. You're scum and not to be trusted.

Fortunately the vast majority of people in the village are actually normal and not batcrap crazy arseholes. The same will be true of your village. You just need to find them.

This should make you laugh. About 15 years ago or so, I lived in Bakewell. I got talking to an older woman (retirement age at a guess) and this very topic came up. She'd been living in Bakewell for decades but wasn't in bred for 15 generations so, you know, scum and all that.🤷‍♀️ She told me about a woman who was looking down her nose at her and who said "of course, I'm Bakewell."
To which the lady told me she replied "oh yes? Tart or pudding"

Marmitemarinaded · 15/08/2021 07:53

Why do you want to be OP?!

Original poster

draghimtothemits · 15/08/2021 07:54

The thing is this, the land was part of the village before the houses were put there so it isn't a new bit of area being added on

What makes me laugh is there are a few big country houses just on the actual outskirts, mentioned this and someone replied straight away?! To say yes they are part of the village! But the address doesn't even have the village name in it at all and a different post code?

OP posts:

Mn753 · 15/08/2021 07:55

Say you identify as a villager and to question it is hate speech

Bluntness100 · 15/08/2021 07:55

Honestly local Facebook pages are the pits, some right unpleasant folks on ours, and we live in a naice place. Bitchy, petty and quite frankly idiotic. We have some new builds bordering our village and genuinely I believe many of them would think the exact same thing. Just roll your eyes and ignore.

allyouneedisconnection · 15/08/2021 07:56

Oh I hear ya op. I've lived in my current village for 6 years and still feel like an outsider. There's a poster on our village Facebook page who must be late twenties early 30's and always starts her posts 'born and bread in the village' I'm assuming to give her following view more clout. It really annoys me.

Original poster

draghimtothemits · 15/08/2021 07:58

@Toomuchspinning

Do a litter pick, volunteer at the village yard sale, pitch up to the carols, and nod hello to everyone. You’ll be ok. The new builds here on the road out the village….. we tend to say “the new houses on the way out”. So I suppose we classify them as part of our village but not necessarily in the village. Not that makes any difference how I treat people as I’m not a postcode wanker!

I really don't have time for any of this type of thing! So will probably be seen as even worse

To top it all of, my DS can't attend the local village school because it isn't suitable for him!

OP posts:

allyouneedisconnection · 15/08/2021 07:59

I snapped one day on one of her posts. She was giving people a heads up that someone was snooping around people's gardens (granted a nice thing to do) and then described them as 'Eastern European looking'. What the actual fuck. What does that even mean. I can't wait to move away from here.

QueenofLouisiana · 15/08/2021 07:59

It took about 10 years for the new build on our village to be accepted- you can still tell who lived here 15 years ago by what they call that area. If they call it by the farm name, they were here more than 15 years ago, if they call it “the new estate” they’ve been here about 13 years. People who call the area by the road names live there and have been around for around 10 years or less.
We’ve been here about 20 years and were accepted when we had DS, he was the first any born into our road for about 10 years so there was much excitement. He didn’t go to school in the village, but made close friends through the high school bus.

Marmitemarinaded · 15/08/2021 07:59

@Toomuchspinning

Do a litter pick, volunteer at the village yard sale, pitch up to the carols, and nod hello to everyone. You’ll be ok. The new builds here on the road out the village….. we tend to say “the new houses on the way out”. So I suppose we classify them as part of our village but not necessarily in the village. Not that makes any difference how I treat people as I’m not a postcode wanker!

Why?

Why would the op want to brown nose a village that responds like this to a newcomer?

elaeocarpus · 15/08/2021 08:01

The village i lived in had a lot a new development, think current count is nearly 10 different sites ranging from 8 x million plus sites to 100 standard new build homes.
A lot of anti-development sentiment and campaigning fir the first few larger ones.
Anyway, a few years ago it was lical council election time. Think only 1 candidate bit he still campaigned. His flyer said something along the lines of him only being relatively new to the village but that he definitely did not live in one of the new build properties. He put that in his party stamped flyer delivered to all the houses- including the new builds.

Hekatestorch · 15/08/2021 08:04

This could be our village FB. My friend got told she wasn't really a villager because she lived in the 'new houses'. Those new houses are 28 years old and my friend has lived there since the day it was finished. She lived there as a toddler, but according to some stories doesn't qualify as a 'villager'.

Outskirts or not, you are I tbe village and these people are just odd and some how believe that living nearer the centre makes them a 'superior villager'

I also generally tend to find these are the people who are worse for the community. Like the people who wanted all the sports fields closing down because of Sunday morning morning noise. These fields were used for kids sports teams and for other events for the good of the community.

Those fields were nearly sold to a developer, but villagers managed to get permission to turn them into community use. The sports games are played well away from houses. Some villagers wanted them closed anyway. They didn't really understand if they stopped being community fields, they would end up going a developer and there would be 300 houses for the their view instead of green fields.

To the one who says 'that's quite impossible' just reply 'I assure you, its possible'.

And make sure you posts plenty about how you like living in the village