To not let my daughter change her name?

[katherine1983]

My daughter wants to change her name to Rose, however I believe she should keep her birth name until the age of 18. I’m aware she can change it without my permission as she’s 16 however I’m hoping she wouldn’t as she knows I’m unhappy with it. It was the name I chose for her and I do believe her reasoning for wanting to change her name (too masculine) is wrong. Shes been using Rose as her name with some of her school friends and her online friends for over a year.

The point about exams is a good one, she's going to change her name at some point, the sooner she gets it official the less faff explaining to prospective employers and educational establishments why her name is different in different documents. YABU

I hated my birth name, called myself a name I love and only family call me by my given name. My parents know I hate it but respect me for being known by another name but not legally changing it. Makes calls easier depending on what name they use. Legal stuff given name simples

Most people where I live don't know my actual name, I go by a shortened version (not by my doing originally) which is in itself a name albeit spelt differently and everyone assumes it is the different variation (suits me because i have hated my actual name since primary school and the amount of people that say my actual name wrong is stupid given that it isn't THAT unusual, just not common)

My daughter changed her name last Christmas. She had (in my opinion) a beautiful name but due to domestic violence and her father not being around , she changed it to a name I had considered when pregnant. Her explanation was that she wanted a name that her father didn't know and wouldn't know. She didn't want a name that reminded her of him. She uses her new name in school and for support services. She was 12 when she made the decision, she can't wait until she can legally change her name. I've had to support her due to her reasons but it does sadden me when I think of her given name.

I'm with your DD. I have a first name that can be either male or female and I hated it as a kid and hate it now. It was chosen by my late DM but I still won't use it. My DF isn't happy but I'm sorry, that's too bad. I stopped using it when I was about 13.

Your daughter is 16, she is old enough to know what she wants. It's her name, of course she can change it. I changed mine at 17, I have certificates from school in both names, I just show a legal document if I go for jobs which require proof of education.

Your daughter will still have to do that if she waits until she's 18, so she might as well get on with it now. Forcing her to wait will only cause friction and won't serve any useful purpose. Nor will it make any difference if she wants to change it back or to any other name in the future....it's her life, she can change as often as she likes as long as she isn't doing it for fraudulent purposes.

@bemusedmoose

Cool username BTW...

I too hated my birth name... I'm known by a different name.

Don't suffer a name you hate, there's plenty of online name generators you can play with and find a name that is more 'you'!

It doesn't matter what her name currently is, and it doesn't matter what she is proposing to use instead. What matters is that she is the one living with it, and she wants to change it, and the law allows her to change it. So, it changes.

Please don't continue to use her old name (I know you have said you won't). Those few family members of mine who use my old name over my preferred name grate on me every time. It's like they are saying their view of MY NAME matters more than my feelings. That's absurd and annoying.

Not to say you shouldn’t let her but when I was her age I ‘changed my name’… Now I look back on it with embarrassment.

It doesn't matter what her name currently is, and it doesn't matter what she is proposing to use instead. What matters is that she is the one living with it, and she wants to change it, and the law allows her to change it. So, it changes.

Yep, totally.