Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my daughter change her name?

510 replies

katherine1983 · 14/08/2021 16:09

My daughter wants to change her name to Rose, however I believe she should keep her birth name until the age of 18. I’m aware she can change it without my permission as she’s 16 however I’m hoping she wouldn’t as she knows I’m unhappy with it. It was the name I chose for her and I do believe her reasoning for wanting to change her name (too masculine) is wrong. Shes been using Rose as her name with some of her school friends and her online friends for over a year.

OP posts:
RuthW · 14/08/2021 16:36

Can she add it as a middle name and then have it as a known name? I can see a problem if her gcses and a levels are in two different names.

What's her original name?

BluebellsGreenbells · 14/08/2021 16:37

I wanted to change my name as long as I remember - never waivered since I was a child

Nothing wrong with her wanted a different name

Lovinghannah · 14/08/2021 16:38

I'm very surprised that so many people think you are being unreasonable

Rtmhwales · 14/08/2021 16:39

I changed mine legally, with parental permission, at 13. I'm 33 now and have never wavered.

FuckingFlumps · 14/08/2021 16:40

@Lovinghannah

I'm very surprised that so many people think you are being unreasonable
Genuine question but why does it surprise you?

She's 16 not 6, it's hardly unheard of for people to change their names and it won't make life any trickier for her to do it at 16 rather than waiting until she is 18.

MirandaBlu · 14/08/2021 16:43

I have a friend who filed the paperwork on her eighteenth birthday to legally change her first and middle names - this was in the US so no chance to do it earlier. I think she looked forward to this more than anything else about her birthday that year or about turning 18. She was lucky in that she turned 18 in May and went away to college (university) in September - she wanted to start the new phase of her life with no questions about the name she preferred, no need to explain "it's legally THIS but I go by THAT". Because of the timing - the US school year finishes in June - she was able to get her high school transcript in the same (new) name she was going to use going forward. From what you've said, if your daughter is absolutely sure, it makes sense to do it earlier rather than later.

Of course, if she changes her mind later and wants to change back or change again then she could have a mismatch of names on her qualifications - but I think the name change paperwork will sort that out?

Howshouldibehave · 14/08/2021 16:45

@katherine1983

If she waits until 18, I thought it would be easier for her qualifications to all be in the same name. Her father supports it but I’m just unsure. Maybe you’re right as she’s been using it for a year she won’t change her mind. That was my biggest worry, her changing it then wanting it changed back
Except any qualifications she does after 18, that is!!

I think you need to pick your battles. How long has she wanted to change her name? I have to say, I wouldn’t want a masculine name-what is it?!

Original poster
katherine1983 · 14/08/2021 16:46

I honestly don’t really like the name Rose either, she said people said it does suit her and she’s happy with it though so i’ll try deal with it. She mentioned having a countdown on her phone to her 16th when she was giving her reasons for changing it. I do feel bad for opposing it but I just can’t imagine her with another name

OP posts:
Original poster
katherine1983 · 14/08/2021 16:46

For those asking too, her name is Kody.

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 14/08/2021 16:47

@katherine1983

For those asking too, her name is Kody.
Goodness. Let her change it to Rose!
GoodnightGrandma · 14/08/2021 16:47

I’d wait until 18. It might be a phase she’s going through, if not she can continue to use the name as she is now.

Loubiemoo · 14/08/2021 16:50

Sorry, but that makes me think of the Sisterwives guy. He’s a prize knob.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sister_Wives

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/08/2021 16:50

YABU OP.

Original poster
katherine1983 · 14/08/2021 16:50

I’ve asked her to wait but both her and her father agree since she’s used Rose for a year that she’s sure she wants it. I still think it’s not long enough

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 14/08/2021 16:50

But it's not about whether you like Rose, it's about whether she does. She's the one that has to live with her name.

urbanbuddha · 14/08/2021 16:50

I think Rose is a lovely name - unfussy, elegant and strong. More importantly it's what your DD likes.

Agree with pp that all her qualifications after 18 will be in a different name if you try to insist that she waits.

FuckingFlumps · 14/08/2021 16:50

@katherine1983

For those asking too, her name is Kody.
It sounds like she's utterly fed up of people presuming she is a boy and wants to change that before moving onto doing her a levels, a degree or going to work so she doesn't have people associating her with her old name.

It would also explain why the name she has chosen is very feminine. I can't say I blame her to be honest. Whilst you love the name it must be incredibly frustrating being the one to always have to explain it and correct people.

butterpuffed · 14/08/2021 16:50

@Lovinghannah

I'm very surprised that so many people think you are being unreasonable
So am I , have never heard of anyone in RL changing their name, shortening it yes but not changing it Hmm
GoodnightGrandma · 14/08/2021 16:51

Actually, now I know what the name is I’d allow her to change it.
I’d assume that was a boy’s name.

StarryStarrySocks · 14/08/2021 16:53

Sorry OP, but I would change my name too if I was a Kody.

daisycottage · 14/08/2021 16:54

Kody sounds like a boy's name tbh.

Carboncheque · 14/08/2021 16:54

Well, she has a boy’s name.

FuckingFlumps · 14/08/2021 16:54

So am I , have never heard of anyone in RL changing their name, shortening it yes but not changing it Hmm

Surely just because you've never known someone who has personally changed their name it doesn't stop you knowing it happens.

To be honest you probably do know at least one person but you probably met them post name change so have never known them as anything but their new name. It's not at all unusual.

gogohm · 14/08/2021 16:54

Let her it's her life. And I hope some of the many posters suggesting weird and masculine names for daughters to be are reading this. Wacky doesn't always go down with the recipient

daisycottage · 14/08/2021 16:55

OP, it's the equivalent of you having to be called Dave.