To think it’s not unreasonable to be proud of your appearance?

[Delke]

My brother and I were brought up to be proud of our appearance. Growing up we were always dressed in the latest designer gear and my mother paid hundreds for photo shoots of us. My brother grew up to go into modelling. I married young but always maintained great pride in my appearance. Fast forward to now, I’m a student nurse and for the first time in my life have encountered negativity just by posting photos on social media. Is it really so terrible to be proud of your appearance? I came off Facebook last week after numerous bitchy comments on my posts but I’ve rejoined today. However I dare not post anything as I’m so worried about the negativity and horrible comments!!

So yeah, you can feel proud of your appearance but not if you need others to validate it.

Nothing wrong with being proud of your appearance but I don't equate having designer gear and photo shoots with that. That's just being proud of wealth.

Some of the comments here are awful and bitchy.
Op there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and posting pictures. Just keep your social media small and don’t add people like work colleagues etc.

Op there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and posting pictures.

but that's not what she said..

she said takes Pride in her appearance.. grew up wearing designer labels.. brother is a model..

you're correct, taking care of yourself is definitely a good step..

Pride ...

a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

I think that's slightly different from taking care of yourself 🌸

I don't think there's anything wrong in being proud of yourself, for whatever reason if you get satisfaction from it and it makes you feel good. Better than suffering low self esteem which is miserable. I think there's a difference though in being proud in a private way, so looking at your own pictures and thinking you look great, and putting it out there for other people, the subtext of which seems to be look at me and think how great I am.... compared to you.

This is a piss take thread surely?

@Thewinterofdiscontent

This is a piss take thread surely?

Could well be. Mumsnetters know how to push other Mumsnetters' buttons and some shove a needle in the hornets' nest for a laugh. Or some might even be intended to prove the point that the place really is a nest of vipers, or to start a chorus of outrage for media purposes.

This one is very, well, Samantha Brick ...

I think it is fine to post photos of yourself looking pretty or glammed up or happy but personally I think it is a good idea to have someone else take them and look like you are doing it for a reason. I.e. you at dinner in a restaurant with a nice plate of food or you outside a theatre excited about seeing a play. Taking random selfies for no apparent reason does come across as a bit weird and vain.

Agree it's a piss take, or a reverse. Op not returned. Such a surprise.

I wonder whether people don't have anything more important to do and think about. Because it's just not that important to me. I find it boring.

I find photos of someone's dinner, or themselves in a bizarre pose- boobs, bum and lips forward- really strange.

That's ok though, just my opinion. We're all different. What I think shouldn't matter to you. I'm not bothered by the fact you'd think I'm dowdy!

@Finfintytint

I’m guessing a trout pout is something like a lip filler. I have a thirty something colleague who is absolutely naturally beautiful but has just ruined her face with a potential man- pleasing fat lip fish thing that looks like she wants to appear on a porn channel. Great if that’s her feminist choice but I suspect it’s not.

Trout pout just means pouting excessively

Trout pout just means pouting excessively
It’s daft because trout don’t really have much in the way of lips. Unlike puffer fish.

I have a 48 year old friend who posts numerous selfies, it's just weird when there's no context or placing of them. The one of her in bed first thing in the morning was def a step too far...

@Planesandflying

I have a 48 year old friend who posts numerous selfies, it's just weird when there's no context or placing of them. The one of her in bed first thing in the morning was def a step too far...

do people comment in these type of posts? what do they say.. I look like a burst mattress first thing.. then I progress to the low of of passable for the rest of the day 😂

QueenBee52

Haha me too! People do like her posts but not massively so, she takes really close up photos and whilst she's not bad looking it can be a bit whoa! Close up.

The bed one was clearly very contrived, most people clearly don't look arty black and white at 7.30am!

Who on earth posts selfies from the gym? I've never noticed anyone in my gym taking selfies. I go to the gym quite a lot and I've never once posted a selfie from there, or taken a photo, because I generally am hot, sweaty and red. Because, you know, I'm exercising.

Actually, I tell a lie. There once was someone taking selfies in the pool. The rest of us were all just ploughing up and down, as you do, in old lady breaststroke, and this bonkers lady came in wearing a bikini made of string, that made her look a bit like a trussed sausage. She sat on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water for a bit, all arched back and pouty lips, taking photos of herself. All the old women rolled our eyes at each other as we passed in the lanes, and after about a 20 minute photoshoot she disappeared, without ever getting in the water. Bonkers.

Maybe you've been posting too many selfies where you've kept ruffling your hair and done the duck face where you've held your phone from above where there's no context?

Dunno.

Endless selfies does scream 'look at me.'

Maybe your colleagues feel that you're being too vain.

It doesn't excuse their behaviour and they shouldn't be commenting on it publicly , but what you are doing does seem a tad vain.

Sorry.

Oh, and to mention being continually dressed in designer gear is very crass.

I came off FB last week but rejoined today.

Jesus, I’m glad no-one photographs me in the gym, sweating my arse off.

Post your pictures in more candid situations, actually doing something or in an interesting place. For example you in your garden with a prize plant, or some accomplishment.

Taking a pride in or proud of are very different. Designer gear and photo shoots are your business not FBs really. Maybe you are rubbing people up the wrong way. Difficult to know without seeing your posts.

[quote Ponoka7]@queenMab99
"Pride, especially when it involves photos on facebook where posing is the only activity, is one of the deadly sins for good reason"

Except it isn't. MN is a Godless place anyway in that respect, a lot of posters are consumed by their self righteousness. Be it on the subject of going to University, age at giving birth, income, how often they clean, daily deadly sins are committed. Pity you didn't pop up on the thread about the OP who was jealous of her friend in Council housing. The worse sin is to ignore the plight of the poor and needy. Many on here would love to live in a country without a welfare state.[/quote]
Pride is one of the deadly sins, according to Pope Gregory, I am not actually christian, but I believe that all sins are rooted in lack of love and respect for others and the world. I did see the post about being jealous of someones council house, but didn't feel I could add anything new to the discussion. I agree that MN is not a very charitable place, so I am not expecting any of my posts to change any ones point of view, or indeed improve the government's and society's attitude towards people in need.

The only selfies I ever post are either in a theatre (showing as much stage/set as I can, and with half my face covered with a mask) or out in the hills (with as much view as I can, and my hair blowing all over the place and usually a lot of sweat on my face).