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Original poster

To think it’s not unreasonable to be proud of your appearance?

205 replies

Delke · 12/08/2021 20:02

My brother and I were brought up to be proud of our appearance. Growing up we were always dressed in the latest designer gear and my mother paid hundreds for photo shoots of us. My brother grew up to go into modelling. I married young but always maintained great pride in my appearance. Fast forward to now, I’m a student nurse and for the first time in my life have encountered negativity just by posting photos on social media. Is it really so terrible to be proud of your appearance? I came off Facebook last week after numerous bitchy comments on my posts but I’ve rejoined today. However I dare not post anything as I’m so worried about the negativity and horrible comments!!

OP posts:
Waspsarearseholes · 12/08/2021 22:11

There's fewer things more ghastly than young children kitted out in 'the latest designer gear'. One of those things, however, is an adult believing that because of said designer gear and multiple childhood photoshoots that they are so beautiful that their Facebook friends would love nothing more than a dozen selfies a day of themselves pouting in their active wear at the gym. I'd find that utterly tedious and embarrassing but I would unfollow you rather than make nasty comments, that is unnecessary from people who you presumably like enough to have as Facebook friends.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2021 22:13

@dworky

Well, physical appearance is not an achievement so is not, in my opinion, something to take great pride in although I can see that if you were encouraged as a child to do so, you would find it important.
Actually I disagree physical appearance absolutely can be an achievement, ask any one who has been over weight and lost weight, or been under weight and gained, got fit etc.

Being fit, healthy, well groomed, can absolutely take effort. I’m guessing you’re incredibly beautiful and it takes no effort for you?

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2021 22:17

Actually I think someone who posts lots of selfies on social media often lacks self esteem, the pictures are often posed, one of many chosen, filters applied, all for the positive attention which is an ego boost.

When you’re actually confident about your appearance you don’t need that validation. You don’t need to take ten photos and select a good one, you don’t need to pose and filter your pics.

The op says it’s the first time she’s encountered negativity, whuch indicates she’s done this for a long time, ans she’s done it for the attention, and now she’s in her forties and Playing in a much more real environment as a student nurse and her colleagues just find her vain and silly.

Luannee · 12/08/2021 22:19

Are you posting trout pout selfies?

Kanaloa · 12/08/2021 22:25

I mean I wouldn’t really be proud of wearing the latest designer gear or spending hundreds on photo shoots. I would be more proud of saving my money so my kids could have a good start in life - I mean you can take photos for free/very cheaply.

I always think it’s better to be proud of achievements or personality traits rather than possessions like designer clothing. If I was you I’d be proud of training to be a nurse - what a fab thing you’re doing and it must be very hard work. And it’s a brilliant achievement whether you’re as gorgeous as Scarlett Johansson or average looking like me.

BrilliantBetty · 12/08/2021 22:26

I like seeing photos, selfies, whatever of my (Facebook) friends! I think it must be them feeling great so they've taken a snap!
I like it. I'd rather see a picture of you my friend than the scenery or your lunch, or some artist shot.

Delete them. And keep feeling beautiful and proud, show it off if you want because let's face it life's short and if having lots of pics makes you feel good then GREAT.

TerraNovaTwo · 12/08/2021 22:31

Nothing wrong with being proud of how you look! If you're constantly spamming people's newsfeed with selfies, however, then they might rightly get annoyed by the barrage and question your motives. Vanity, etc. Still no need for bitchy comments though!

But if you are periodically posting selfies, maybe sometimes also with your DC or your pet or something and people are being bitchy about it, I reckon that you're probably quite attractive. Other women HATE a naturally pretty woman and or with a great body, even more so if you're a nice person. Tis the way

Changemaname1 · 12/08/2021 22:31

Selfies aren’t for me and I am a bit “ eyeroll “ at Facebook friends who post a ton of them and clearly heavily filtered too

however no there is nothing wrong with taking pride in appearance

Hate the ageism on here sometimes as well women invisible over 40? No . I know many beautiful older women

GrandDuchessRomanov · 12/08/2021 22:31

For me personally, posting selfies is the ultimate in vanity, one of the ugliest traits (along with being a skinflint) a person can have.

You can take pride in your appearance, sure, but why share pictures of yourself posing to the wider world?

That is vanity, pure and simple.

GrandDuchessRomanov · 12/08/2021 22:36

I forgot to say, we really need a photo so we can see how gorgeous you are and how very unreasonable the commenters are.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/08/2021 22:36

I post pictures of me and Dh next to said famous landmark grinning all the time

But I've never posted a picture of me on my own pouting at the camera without a landmark in the background Confused

Because I'm 50 and it would make me a weirdo GrinHmm

You're too old to be doing this (so are 20 year olds so I'm not even being much in the way of ageist)

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/08/2021 22:50

You’re a bit bloody long in the gnashers (teeth) for trout pouting aren’t you.
I can understand from a 16 year old kid wanting to come over as all confident at put together but not a 43 year old middle aged women.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 12/08/2021 22:57

@TheVolturi

Can we see examples of the pics that are getting negativity?
Why? So you can be a twat too?
godmum56 · 12/08/2021 22:57

I wouldn't comment but I'd probably laugh and eyeroll to myself because i mean who cares?

saraclara · 12/08/2021 23:07

Other women HATE a naturally pretty woman and or with a great body, even more so if you're a nice person. Tis the way

Oh come on. That's really not true.

Many of us do dislike vain people though. And often the most vain people aren't really pretty, and the most beautiful women aren't vain.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 12/08/2021 23:08

OP I'm a chubby uggo which I am now at peace with, but you can bet your arse I would be plastering pictures of myself all over the place if I wasn't!

You should feel free to post pics and take care of your appearance, I say fair play. Just mind yourself that it doesn't become a constant validation thing and remove people who are not nice to you from your socials!

rottd · 12/08/2021 23:15

Other women HATE a naturally pretty woman and or with a great body, even more so if you're a nice person. Tis the way

That's rubbish.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/08/2021 23:18

There again though most of us myself included have been having a dig at op and her ridiculously over confident ways. However who’s to say she’s not sobbing into her pillow as we speak or rather type due to feeling really down about herself.

It’s very very easy to make out that you and your life are perfect from behind a keyboard.
Maybe she’s feeling a little down, who knows.

I hope I don’t sound patronising but if I do that isn’t my intent.

Recessed · 12/08/2021 23:23

Jesus 43?! I assumed a naïve, vain 18 year old by your original post. Grow up OP! Leave the cringe trout pouts to the teenagers!

saraclara · 12/08/2021 23:24

You say you're a student nurse. Are the people making comments a lot younger than you, OP?

Maybe it's a generational thing, like being 21 and seeing your mum making duck faces into her selfie camera.

QueenBee52 · 12/08/2021 23:29

@saraclara

Other women HATE a naturally pretty woman and or with a great body, even more so if you're a nice person. Tis the way

Oh come on. That's really not true.

Many of us do dislike vain people though. And often the most vain people aren't really pretty, and the most beautiful women aren't vain.

I agree @saraclara so untrue 🌸

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/08/2021 23:37

OP I have a friend like you - she is always posting in her designer gym gear (those TikTok leggings) and commenting on her fabulous workout. The it will be cocktails in a swanky pub in a new designer dress. Then one with her kids in head to toe designer wear on a family 'adventure' (walk to the rest of us).

I would never comment negatively and these people are not your friends. I do know, however, it's all a sham. She is broke and everything goes on credit (thousands in debt). She is really unhappy with her life and really insecure.
People know that social media is not real - delete these people and concentrate on your real friends

Lolatt · 12/08/2021 23:39

OP if you’re proud of how you look and want to post selfies then go for it.

StoneofDestiny · 13/08/2021 00:54

Trout Pout not even a good look on a Trout

To think it’s not unreasonable to be proud of your appearance?
Flowers500 · 13/08/2021 00:57

I’m going to be honest, when I see a middle aged woman trout pouting on social media and showcasing (invariably tacky, ugly) designer clothes I just think they’re a blind twat and that money can’t buy taste. I wouldn’t say that, but yes your friends and colleagues would laugh about it behind your back. They might be doing you a favour by letting you know…

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