To think it’s not unreasonable to be proud of your appearance?

[Delke]

My brother and I were brought up to be proud of our appearance. Growing up we were always dressed in the latest designer gear and my mother paid hundreds for photo shoots of us. My brother grew up to go into modelling. I married young but always maintained great pride in my appearance. Fast forward to now, I’m a student nurse and for the first time in my life have encountered negativity just by posting photos on social media. Is it really so terrible to be proud of your appearance? I came off Facebook last week after numerous bitchy comments on my posts but I’ve rejoined today. However I dare not post anything as I’m so worried about the negativity and horrible comments!!

Being dressed in designer wear isn’t really much to do with your appearance is it.

Not all parents had or have the luxury of affording it.
You can be dressed in Asda and still look a million dollars if you work on your self.
Are you waiting for us to bow our heads to you or something because your post sounds like a full on boast to me.

If you look down your nose at people op because their kids aren’t in £1,000 suits it wouldn’t surprise me nor would I blame people on Facebook for being annoyed with you.

I find dressing head to toe in designer gear cringe, especially if the labels are obvious.

I think the trout pout look is hideous too.

Neither of the the above are things to be prod of. They are going achievements….

Being a nurse is an achievement. Be proud of that. That’s what truly matters

not achievements

Feeling good and being proud of your appearance is one thing. Being a vain, shallow & self absorbed is quite another.

Have a long hard look at your photos, dig deep and think about how outsiders judge you and which category they would put you in.

@nancydroo

Hekatestorch

😂 Okay well if you are then so am I, last few months of the decade we get to be whatever we want and geriatric is not it!

Yes, whatever we want 🤣🤣

Truthfully, I think the responses depends on the type of selfie iyswim?

Only nasty people would comment negatively, ignore them. I love seeing nice pictures of my friends on social media.

@Pixilicious

"What exactly are you proud of? That you’re genetically blessed which is not an achievement but luck"

So is being NT, intelligent and physically able. We celebrate all those things.

@SalsaLove
" And your beauty will fade at around 45. You will then become invisible and then what will you?"

Whose convinced you that no one over 45 is beautiful? If you mean that the street harassment will stop, then that's a blessing, but I'm 53 and still get unwanted attention.

OP, you shouldn't be getting the nasty comments. If it was any other subject then every post would be telling you that. I think the word proud is always reacted to badly. I've enjoyed how I've looked, used it to my advantage, rather than being proud.

Looks aren't irrelevant, ask any fat woman. Or read the many threads on it.

@MotionActivatedDog

I don't know what 'on a commission at David Lloyd' means to be honest. I know what David Llyod is, just not you mean by a commission.

It means OP is posting so many photos of her at the gym she might as well be working for David Lloyd.

Thank you. I get it now.

Op, I think these people think you are a bit of a showoff and vain.

Just block them and continue on as you were.

Why share? I always think sharing photos like selfies is rooted in either a need for validation (likes) or to show relative 'attractiveness' compared to others - the later which breeds negative comparisons. Either ring true? I'm intrigued as I've never been compelled to share a selfie and not sure why someone would

I’m very proud of how I look physically at 41. The difference is that I rarely post on social media (only have Facebook, no Instagram, Twitter or Fucking Tik Tom) never bother with selfies and don’t require anyone else’s validation.

Posting multiple social media pics asking for likes, is not being proud of your appearance. It shows that you’re not confident in yourself alone - you don’t need anyone else to tell you you’re hot/good looking/well turned out (whatever you want from posting).
If you were really comfortable with yourself you wouldn’t need others to tell you.
Im not saying don’t do it, crack on if you enjoy it. But it’s not the same thing.

Looks aren't irrelevant, ask any fat woman.

You can be fat & have a beautiful face like Ashley Graham or slim with an plain face though. I guess it depends on your definition of looks though.

Stop spamming people with pics
Work on your self-esteem
Be less insecure
Stop equating appearance or a good look with money and designer brands
Stop looking for affirmation from ransoms
Understand why you feel disappointed and disrespected
Have a break from social media

@Bluntness100

Aahh Bluntness ... you've been guilty of this very trait yourself countless times

Nah not this, I don’t attack and insult people because they think they are attractive,

Self-awareness perhaps not your strong suit?

Well, physical appearance is not an achievement so is not, in my opinion, something to take great pride in although I can see that if you were encouraged as a child to do so, you would find it important.

@Delke

Just because I post pictures of myself. Example asking if I’m on commission for David Lloyd, calling me trout pout and taking the piss out of me. All nursing staff. I never had problems before.

To be honest, if you post pictures of yourself with a trout pout you do rather call for ridicule. It's never a good look and it's now very dated.

Saw a beautiful, famous woman on IG yesterday. She’d posted a selfie in which she was accompanied by her babe in arms in a Gucci hat.

I judged. Money and beauty does not equal class OP.

The thing is, being proud of your appearance is by definition being proud of the superficial. Most people would prefer to be proud of what they have achieved in virtually every area except their appearance.

@Finfintytint
absolutely naturally beautiful but has just ruined her face with a potential man- pleasing fat lip
The vast majority of men don’t find it attractive at all.

You sound so smug. Trout pouts look like a baboons arse. It's not a good look.

When someone parades themselves as always kitted out in the newest designer gear I just think of Sharpay Evans (high school musical)

Taking pride in your appearance is great, but does that mean your comfortable in your own skin? Do you get fillers/have any work done?

If you’re naturally beautiful, own it. But don’t brand it with your LV handbag, louboutin heels and gucci accessories - designer accessories have very little to do with pride.

@YellowandGreenToBeSeen

Saw a beautiful, famous woman on IG yesterday. She’d posted a selfie in which she was accompanied by her babe in arms in a Gucci hat.

I judged. Money and beauty does not equal class OP.

Class is also not an achievement.

To be fair to bluntness, she attacks and insults people because she disagrees with them. Presumably this is ok tho as far as she's concerned

I think the question you’re better asking OP is AIBU for being proud to be privileged?

In which case, yes you can be.. again without being smug of course. But everyone’s situations are different; you can be proud to be proud up with privileges; you can also be proud to be brought up without them.

I was never brought up on designer gear; in fact my mum specifically never brought us designer gear because she didn’t want us to view the world that way, like we must have only the best designer gear. I’m still proud to be who I am, who I was brought up to be and who I’m continuing to be. Of course now I’m older I’ve brought myself designer things, I’ve worked for them and there are certain items I fancied splashing out on. I’m also happy to buy non-branded items at a market, or second hand items online.

It’s not about stuff. It’s about personality. If you’ve got a half decent one then there no reason not to proud.