Anyone ever had or been to an ‘alternative’ wedding?

[Angelaanaconda10]

Been to 4 in the past 5 years, each one was in a grand stately home/hall type setting, lot of money had clearly been spent. Traditional sit down meal, followed by the first dance, speeches, cutting the cake etc. Long, elegant white dress with a train(trail?)

They were all lovely, clearly very well thought-out and fancy. I hope this doesn’t offend people but it’s not the sort of wedding I would want. I can’t really speak for my partner but I’m not interested in tradition, even in having a white dress. I don’t have the money for such a wedding either and I have zero interest in spending years planning and stressing over every detail like I’ve seen friends do.
I don’t even have enough female close friends I could have as bridesmaids.

Has anyone got stories to share about weddings?

Good friends did a registrar office followed by a piss up in an old mill.

She wore a white dress but just a white lace tea dress rather than a wedding dress etc.

Amazing taco buffet for the day and chip van for the evening, speeches were just the bride and groom themselves thanking everyone for coming and done and dusted in 10 mins. Great fun, lots of laughs and really fun and relaxed celebration of love.

Only negative thing (or advice for anyone doing a similar wedding I suppose) - they made a wedding playlist on their laptop and allowed guests to add songs when they RSVPed, they then just stuck it on shuffle and let it go which meant the music was a little disjointed and you were dancing away to ABBA when it would switch to a mariachi band or something ... afterwards they said they wished they had left someone in charge of the music or made a planned playlist.

I suppose our wedding was a bit alternative, just invited the 3 kids and their partners, curry and pub afterwards

When DP and I get married, I'd like to have the ceremony in the lovely town hall around 2ish, Then off to a nearby (walking distance) hotel for afternoon tea in their piano bar that overlooks the river.

I want to plan something like this...thinking Tythe barn Ceiliegh, fire dancers, festival vibes etc

Restaurant garden (not UK) next to a harbour, 36 people including 10 children. Long lunch, then off on honeymoon. Cost £1500 25 years ago inc dress and week long honeymoon.

Was lovely, low key, fun - friends said it was the easiest wedding they'd been to, therefore the most enjoyable, because there was no angst about the kids.

15 people.Registry office,a few photos then on to a coffee shop in the railway station.
After coffee the B&G went on a train to paris.

Havent got married yet but my dream is a handfastibg in an oak grove/wood clearing and thats it with a couple of witnesses. No party or anything.

We had family coming from many places so we got a Route Master to carry everyone from civil to small religious ceremony (no bridesmaids or anything) 30 people maybe?

And then the dinner was on a boat on the Thames everyone loved it! For that a few more people came

It wasn't super expensive, several handed dress from the 60s maybe, no need for fancy stuff ;) no dj (used phone music), no cover on chairs (they were fine!). All that adds up

Registry and restaurant - no fuss, no crowds, no faff.

Picked a nice-looking registry office - ye olde house, timbers and beautifully decorated, so even though it cost peanuts the photos looked nice. On to a restaurant, also nice decor, photos looked nice there too.

Lovely surroundings all day, close family only, cost less than a day out.

Was I wrong to look a bit horrified when my normally sensible grandson announced he and fiancee are having a big wedding with all the frills? I even asked if they had considered hiring a model wedding dress, instead of spending a fortune on something that would hang in the wardrobe for yonks.... I also said that it seemed that the more money a wedding cost, the more likely it was to break up...... Is that awful?

Friends of friends of our got married on Halloween, so yes they had a Halloween themed wedding. Bride and Groom were dressed like Morticia and Gomez Adams.

Various weddings I've been to over the years (and none of the small ones were anything to do with COVID restrictions) :

2 different ones in Scout marquees on camp sites
1 where there were only 11 of us - Registry office then to a meal at a restaurant
1 where the service was in the Church then everyone moved into the Church hall for a glass of fizz and they cut cake and said a few words, took photos, mingled for a bit and then just immediate family went for a meal in a restaurant
1 where the couple persuaded a pub to let them have their upstairs room for free (after all it wasn't being used, and everyone of course bought drinks) then had booked the local curry house to bring in a meal for everyone
1 where the service was in the Church then we had afternoon tea in the church hall
1 where we walked across to the Village Hall which had been decorated by friends and they had caterers come in and serve a meal
1 where it was BYOB and a barn dance in a village hall.

Honestly, most weddings are lovely - there is no correlation with the 'grandness' of it and how enjoyable it is. The key things are not to leave people standing around for hours with nothing to do; to make sure everyone has enough to eat; and to let people know what to expect (ie that food won't be until X o'clock..... or the barn is open sided - so might be cold.......or the marquee is in a field so stilletos aren't going to work.....etc)

The two best weddings I've ever been to were not white British ones (which all seem to be the same food wise) The first was a Nigerian one in a leisure centre, food was buffet style and new dishes I've never tried before. The second was a British Pakistani colleague, in a lovely hotel but the food was constant and absolutely devine. From the second we entered the hotel until we left we were being offered something different.
Both of them were different from 'traditional' weddings in the sense that there was no ceremony or formalities, they were more food centred which suits me.

We attended the wedding of family friends at the Royal Festival Hall - along with the guests of 19 other couples at the same time.
It was part of the Big Wedding Weekend in 2014.
Very alternative!

I also said that it seemed that the more money a wedding cost, the more likely it was to break up...... Is that awful?

Yes, HTH.

Me and dh eloped. We had a wedding and handfasting ceremony on a beach with 2 strangers as Witnesses.

Am planning one... cheapest legal ceremony at registry office with witnesses from the street (and two children in a pushchair!), then a summer solstice handfasting in our back garden under a flower arch OH is covering with passion flowers and jasmine. Ordering loads of pizza from our favourite takeaway, and bucks fizz from Lidl. Sound system and bonfire. I have already bought my dress from a charity shop. Can't wait!

We put on a music festival. Spent the year beforehand going to local gigs to put together our “line up” and built a stage and everything. No dress code, most people camped (even some non-campers!) we built bars, put up loads of lights, hired loos…it was hard work but we loved it and years later people are still saying it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to feels proud

Two anarchist mates had a registry do, bride wore a black shirt and trousers (mum convinced her at last minute to wear a black hairband with a small feather on it), groom jeans, a white shirt and baseball cap.

Then a picnic and a handfasting in garden of a very rough pub! It was one the most memorable weddings I've been to.

I married in a blue bridesmaid dress, I never wanted anything big and white (mainly as I look rubbish in white and can't move nicely in full-length formal dresses, plus I'd totally spill stuff all over it).

Definitely do your own thing

Barn dance , picninc , camping set up , bonfire

All of these can be made to feel special , with flowers and music and good food , even caterers - but not stiff / formal / sterile

Enjoy your day !

Mine was in our barn and field with a campfire and lots of loud music. The only traditional thing we did was something borrowed etc. No speeches or white dresses (mine was black and cost £8 in the new look sale).

We had a humanist celebrant in a hall that opened up on to a village green. I wore a new dark blue shift dress. Husband wore a fancy, colorful waistcoat (and brand new jeans!). A couple of friends did readings. We had a live music and served an afternoon tea with champagne. Then we all sat around chatting, playing lawn games and messing about with the kids.

It ended around 5pm and those who wanted went on with us to an “after party” at a pub.

We arranged it in 3 weeks. It was great. And I wouldn’t do much differently.

We had a small wedding too. Local registry office. I did wear a big ivory gown, but wore a gothic neck collar and wore my biker boots, we had a gothic/steampunk themed wedding, best man (who was a woman) wore a corset and Victorian ruffle skirt, husband had a steampunk suit and top hat with goggles. Most of our guests wore jeans.
Posed for pictures with our motorbike.
After the ceremony we walked through the town centre and went to Pizza hut for a buffet, and then walked to the reception venue, which was the punky looking top floor of a local club.

At 1am we walked back through the town centre, got cheered and congratulated by all the drunks and club goers and went and got coffee in McDonald's

Completely did it our way and had zero regrets!

We had a very small wedding, we’re not into bif showy stuff. We got married in a nice bar (where we met), rather than having set food etc the small number of guests just ordered what they wanted from the menu whenever they wanted to eat. There was a free bar as well.

We had ours in the library! It was really cheap, I love reading and my DH is a writer, and it was beautiful. Steampunk dress and bouquet made of book-page handmade roses…from the book that brought us together. Meal after was in our favourite Greek place; we go there for every family celebration.