Anyone ever had or been to an ‘alternative’ wedding?

[Angelaanaconda10]

Been to 4 in the past 5 years, each one was in a grand stately home/hall type setting, lot of money had clearly been spent. Traditional sit down meal, followed by the first dance, speeches, cutting the cake etc. Long, elegant white dress with a train(trail?)

They were all lovely, clearly very well thought-out and fancy. I hope this doesn’t offend people but it’s not the sort of wedding I would want. I can’t really speak for my partner but I’m not interested in tradition, even in having a white dress. I don’t have the money for such a wedding either and I have zero interest in spending years planning and stressing over every detail like I’ve seen friends do.
I don’t even have enough female close friends I could have as bridesmaids.

Has anyone got stories to share about weddings?

Next year I'm planning a small wedding with an afternoon tea / dinner reception. If I invite 10 people it will be a lot and that's exactly how I want it. No obligatory guests , no big fuss, just simple , plain and as hassle free as possible.

A fair proportion of these 'unique' weddings seem like they'd have taken more time and effort to organise . You only stress over details as much as you want.
One person I know booked a church with all inclusive package. 'Traditional' but easy and fuss free. All they had to do was organise their clothes and show up. Wasn't very expensive either as they had less than 50 guests.
Other rented hall, had bar ,food vans and homemade cake, live music throughout. 'Alternative' but took a lot more organising, decorating the hall etc. Was relatively cheaper but only because bride's family are arty and did a lot of the work.

'Alternative' doesn't equal fuss free.

Just have your dream party in whatever way you want ... wear a sparkly pink dress.. etc

I wouldn't really class ours as 'alternative' but it certainly wasn't traditional. Registry office (with us seeing each other before as I couldn't stand the idea of a 'big moment'), walked down the aisle together, lovely photos and confetti in a pretty garden then a simple restaurant meal. No speeches, bridesmaids, cake or best man. It was all beautiful but simple and very easy to organise! Spent £2,500. Go for it op and do it your way, it's so liberating! 18 of us in total.

I went to a lovely wedding celebration where the ceremony had taken place already- on a weekday morning cheap slot at registry office, the celebration was a picnic in the park with games where everyone brought & shared food &drinks with some provided by B&G, then for the evening onto a private room in nearby pub where there was hot buffet provided & buy your own drinks. (But this would have possibly been a disaster if it rained)
Another was a church service followed by a quick walk to a nearby hotel private room for a standing buffet of afternoon tea type food.
I've been to a couple in local arts or music venues where people had friends/family do cold Waitrose or M&S buffets & music was a playlist.
I've been to 2 weddings where a meal for the families/very close friends (25-50) took place first, then everyone else arrived for the ceremony & later buffet/drinks. That's a really nice way to keep meal costs down but ensure everyone gets to see the important bit! I've been to 2 outdoor weddings....both interrupted by rain!

@Sparklyboots

If I was going to get married, and I'm not because my ex has put me off relationships FOR EVER, so if hell froze over basically, I'd have a glamping/ camping weekend with a big barbecue the first night, some optional activities like a walk, something wood crafty, some wild swimming, and a ceilidh for the main event. Probably around 12-15th August to catch the persuid meteor shower.

ong that sounds amazing!!!

I've been to many weddings. Mostly traditional and i enjoyed most of them. The ones that were a bit different:

One in a woodland- absolutely gorgeous. The bride walked around the lake towards the clearing where we stood.

One on an old fashioned train station. Cream tea on a steam train afterwards

An old barn in France - pouring with rain but it was magical.

A derelict cathedral on a sunny spring day. Pictures were stunning.

On a cliff top beside a gorgeous deep blue sea.

Portmerion in north Wales.

One in a bar with festival food served outside.

A Christmas wedding - lights, open fire, cosyand romantic.

The main thing in common is the people didn't take tradition too seriously. I can't stand fussing about little thingslike invites and favours.

We had our reception in a brewery with a ceilidh dance which went down pretty well. However we still had a sit down meal etc. I loved our wedding day and it was very relaxed, lots of fun. But in hindsight I would go for late afternoon ceremony and a BIG relaxed party with no formal sit down bit.

Mine was in a tipi with food vans and a horse box for booze. Very informal

Yes. A lovely outdoor one, followed by a Mexican sit down meal. Though a fairly straightforward hotel location. So fairly recognisable but slightly different.

A lovely picnic one on a beach. The couple got married with two witnesses at a registry office then rocked up at the beach for a more humanist type thing, with stories from friends and family, lots of toasting and music (they were part of a band) into the night. Bonfire late on. Beautifully relaxed. Complete strangers walking their dogs were offered cake and a drink at a few points. Bride wore a white dress, but like a summer dress and put on a yellow lace over dress when it got cooler.

Similarly a handfasting (pagan) celebration. Outdoors, they did have a marquee for protecting food and music but mainly everyone was spread out in a field on the edge of a wood. It was a campsite. It got cold in the evening but we all had coats and blankets. The ceremony was in an area friends had built with a woven arch of certain woods and flowers. The couple wore vintage 50s clothes, just their favourite colours.

Mine was basically a house party at my in-laws with a trip to the registry office first.

I think around 60 people? We made or bought in all the food, bought loads of booze that was chilling in buckets all over the house. Weather was amazing so mostly hanging in the garden, lots of dancing with a playlist I made on the iPod.

Only real fancy bit was that I wore a full length rose gold sequin dress because when else would I.

We got married in an art gallery; 3pm ceremony, followed by (amazing) canapés and drinks, string quartet. In the evening we had an intimate family meal at a local restaurant. Very low key, not super traditional (we arrived together), just did things our way.

I eloped. It's been on my to do list forever, I never fancied a proper wedding. I wanted to be married but didn't want a wedding so just went to the registry office with a couple of witnesses. I'm a big fan of parties so we've had lots of them but without the pressure if a wedding

My friend had a great wedding. The bride and bridesmaid rowed up to the beach in a canoe.
There was a pinata with hand-written fortunes, some of them very mean and funny, inside.
We all danced to a Klezmer band.
I can't remember all the other odd and wonderful things.

We did a simple registry office next to a park so it was good for photos. There were about 25 of us, then we were walking distance from one of our favourite cafe/bars so just booked out their upstairs and had tons of platters (tapas/ploughmans/antipasti and chips) and a free bar and we all had a whale of a time.
Did a little bit of decorating but the room itself was already gorgeous and quirky so did very little.
Everyone had a fab time. Covid has changed the wedding game a bit and small weddings are a lot more widespread.

Only thing I'd say is don't cheap out on a wedding photographer, we didn't and we love our photos so much.

no stories but you need to watch series 2 ep 6 of Jam and Jerusalem for a really beautiful wedding

I answered an appeal for witnesses
Mumsnet for a couple eloping. There was just the two witnesses and the couple. It was quite nice. (Though the room in the register office was literally an office)

No white dress (I wore green velvet, it was winter). No bridesmaids or groomsmen, no being walked down the aisle (we walked in together, thought was nice and symbolic, deliberately choosing to walk into marriage together).

5pm - 11pm - no pissing about with speeches, first dances, cake cutting (or cake!), extended photo shoots.

A very unusual and not weddingy venue (can't say where as quite outing, there haven't been many weddings there, but a cool old building that's been repurposed!).

Ceremony at 5.30, cocktail van while we did a couple of photos of just us upstairs, straight into street food vans, ice cream van for afters, into dancing. Hired v cool bar in the city for an after-after party (hardcore guests only - we were out til 3.30am haha). Not a sit down meal (although we did have tables) - effectively just a big party with a ceremony at the beginning!

I might be being biased but it's the best wedding I've ever been to . We basically took all the things we don't like/find boring at weddings and binned them - it was great and I loved every minute.

One of the best weddings we went to we were told was a birthday party at a barn . When we got there we found out that they had got married that morning.

Think we’ll go to the registry office, a nice looking one, not one of those pre-fab brutalist looking buildings with pebble dashed rendering. And then with numbers being very, very small (parents and siblings only) be able to afford to take everyone for the 5 or 7 course tasting menu with wine pairings at this lovely Michelin starred restaurant in town.

Mine wasn’t anything special as such but it was the day we wanted. I ordered a custom made dress from China £85. Booked the local golf club for a wedding ceremony and breakfast. Friends did photos and flowers. We hired one of the holiday lodge for the weekend. I stayed there with my bridesmaids on the Friday night, then after the wedding breakfast the 34 guests came back to the lodge to a Waitrose buffet I’d sorted. I had a photo booth set up diy style in one room, we played drinking games and everyone chilled in their bubbles. Guests were told they could bring swimwear if they wanted to go in the hot tub and we have lots of cool snaps from the evening. Including golf cart buggy rides, guests passed out. It was the best day of my life

I went to a civil ceremony in the backend of nowhere. The bride’s greyhounds were bridesmaids, the bride’s niece (chef) prepped the excellent canapés. We all brought our own alcohol. The best man was the photographer. The wedding breakfast was hot roast meats, salads and veggies prepared by bride’s niece. Other guests became the wedding band. It was a lovely day.

Yep, loads! I am a wedding photographer though, and I market myself to a more alternative crowd. Most couples retain some tradition, but put their own spin on things.

Whatever you do, choose things for the day that you love. There's nothing worse than a wedding that feels like every detail has just been selected off a set menu. Don't feel like people won't enter into the spirit of things if you veer away from tradition, because they will definitely have a fab time if you are too.

Ooh, and I’ll have a lovely kitsch dress from Teuta Matoshi. Midi length.

Went to a nice Swedish outdoor one. Swedish traditions like singing, all the women guests file past and kiss the groom. Released fire lanterns in the evening. Lots of cake. Dress up photo booth. Morning swim in fjord!
Small one in a hotel with a jazz quartet and 50s style dress, cupcakes and tea party outside was actually the most smooth running and sophisticated one.

Easter themed one in yellow and purple colours, very beautiful actually.

@PawPawPaw

I went to a civil ceremony in the backend of nowhere. The bride’s greyhounds were bridesmaids, the bride’s niece (chef) prepped the excellent canapés. We all brought our own alcohol. The best man was the photographer. The wedding breakfast was hot roast meats, salads and veggies prepared by bride’s niece. Other guests became the wedding band. It was a lovely day.

I had a fairly traditional wedding but my 6 week old niece was my only bridesmaid