Anyone ever had or been to an ‘alternative’ wedding?

[Angelaanaconda10]

Been to 4 in the past 5 years, each one was in a grand stately home/hall type setting, lot of money had clearly been spent. Traditional sit down meal, followed by the first dance, speeches, cutting the cake etc. Long, elegant white dress with a train(trail?)

They were all lovely, clearly very well thought-out and fancy. I hope this doesn’t offend people but it’s not the sort of wedding I would want. I can’t really speak for my partner but I’m not interested in tradition, even in having a white dress. I don’t have the money for such a wedding either and I have zero interest in spending years planning and stressing over every detail like I’ve seen friends do.
I don’t even have enough female close friends I could have as bridesmaids.

Has anyone got stories to share about weddings?

A friend wore a dark purple wedding dress. Rest of the wedding was fairly normal though.

Most boring weddings imo are hours and hours of photos and hanging around. Being outside but not knowing in advance to dress for it, like a pp. Too formal.

Love a relaxed and fun wedding.

@BobbinThreadbare123

Mine! I literally had a piss up in a brewery Dark red dress. No flowers or chair covers, or horrible sparkly bits on the table. Just fun. It was a lot cheaper than some of the country house efforts I've been to.

Dark red dress brigade here. Also got married in a red dress, under an enormous tree (six stories tall), then we all ate a catered Mexican buffet, everyone was allowed to sit wherever they felt like, and my “cake” was several tiers of specialty cupcakes so that I was able to have about 10 different flavors with something for everyone, all of them delicious. My MIL is still upset we didn’t get married in a church and it’s been over a decade, but it is what is and at least everyone loved the food. And most importantly to me, we didn’t start our married life stressed by the huge debt of some very traditional country house wedding we wouldn’t have enjoyed. Maybe I’m just not sentimental enough, but I choke a bit when people mention spending a house deposit on their wedding. And then there’s the statistics that say if you spend that much, you’re more likely to divorce anyway.

Married in ancient Italian city. Six guests. Arrived 3 days beforehand and found florist, hairdresser etc., on arrival. Wore deep purple. Had a wander round the city after the wedding and booked into a restaurant for an informal meal. No cake, speeches, favours, music, invitations, or presents. Also no stress and no angst. I've never in my life before or since experienced such warmth and goodwill from total strangers: Italians go nuts over anything involving weddings or small children. Spent a month afterwards cruising the black sea then travelling around the continent, as far off the beaten track as possible.

Most people were delighted for us. A few weren't. Those who weren't we expected probably wouldn't be. They were the sort who would doubtless have been critical no matter what we did, so we did what best suited us, and went for a wedding that was exactly what we wanted.

If I could go back in time I'd do the same again. No variations whatsoever. It was perfect.

I love the sound of the pagan weddings on this thread.

I have been to a humanist wedding and the reception was in a marquee in a friend of the parents garden but it was a converted water mill and incredibly beautiful. It was a lovely wedding and the congregation circled the couple as they said their vows.

Traditional Chinese weddings, been to a few. Three day affairs, ridiculously expensive for guests as three outfits needed with formal tea ceremony, that’s a cultural thing but I do love a tea ceremony.

We had our reception in a village hall in the New Forest where DH family are originally from. A low key one really but we were saving for a house deposit. We joined our family trees together at the wedding and got everyone to sign their names by their entry. One branch went back to 1750 so people loved looking at that. We also had a craft table for the half a dozen small dc that attended.

Best I ever went to was one where b and g were members of historical reenactment group and had fancy dress wedding (medieval Tudor or Stuart dress) . Help with costume if required, but no compulsion to join in either. Reception was in village hall, with baked potatoes, chilli cheese, salads etc and the wedding cake was chocolate fridge cake iced to look like a wedding cake. No fuss, no speeches just lots of happy people.

You can do it your way op.

We had 70 people - so only about 10 couples for each side in terms of friends once family were invited. No bridesmaids, no car to the venue - just booked a cab. No extra evening guests. Really negotiated on prices with venues and got some extras thrown in. Used venues’ own table linen e.g. so no need for matching napkins etc. Used their candlesticks so we only had to provide candles - no need to buy table decorations. All flowers / foliage from our gardens. A friend’s mum made the cake and another friend took the photos for us.

We had a great time!

And my fave ever wedding that I went to as a guest was a morning civil service at a lovely historic property followed by a pot luck lunch in a village hall, with everyone bringing a main or pudding. The food was so much better than most catered weddings and the atmosphere was lovely. Finished about 4pm. Was lovely

I love weddings!

My wife and I had a CP when the law changed as a bit of a political gesture as well as because we love each other.
All the campaigning would have been pointless if we didn’t take advantage of this log-awaited opportunity 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👭

We went to the registry office in a lovely mansion with family in a minibus. We walked in together and our good friend read a poem she had written for us, and a relative sang. The sun shone as we gave the vows we had written and it stayed out for photographs.

We hired a local art gallery and people brought cake for afternoon tea with vintage tea services.

Later we had a 3course meal that my new wife and I had prepared, served by friends of friends. Our nieces and nephew sang and played and we had a playlist our brother in law had prepared after talking to us.

Everyone brought their own drinks, there was a feral tribe of children running and dancing through the 3 storey building.

I have never had so much fun when the party was for me.

Other fab weddings; the ceremony was in a nice local hostelry and we walked to a marquee in the castle overlooking the town. The WI catered, there was a music quiz, hosted by an excellent DJ, a jazz band, oh it was lovely with lavender from grandads garden decorating the pillars of the marquee.

Another one in popular attraction on the Gower, the whole venue given over to the wedding.
It was so relaxed, so much fun, all vegan food which was some of the best I have ever had at a wedding.

I must say too that I was so grateful to family and friends for the loving support they gave us to make our day just as we wanted it.
I agree that moving outside the traditional set up does mean more organising rather than handing over to an events manager.

Oh, I forgot to mention another marquee wedding, in a country pub garden. Two gay men, friends of the bride, took over the whole event and it was fabulous, my friend was treated like a queen!

A story from one wedding always makes me smile. A large group from my wife’s workplace were invited to a colleague’s wedding at a large local hotel. The Master of Ceremonies was on hand to make sure all went smoothly. There was a table in the room given over to presents and cards. One of the group is a real character and brought a bottle of vodka in a gift bag as the bar prices were atrocious. Said MC was determined to place the gift bag on the table, our friend insisting it was a very personal gift for the bride. The manoeuvring between them was a real hoot, though I do appreciate you had to be there. She still gets teased about it to this day.
OP have a lovely day what ever you do, I wish you a long and happy marriage.

Best wedding I went to was a short registry office ceremony, and then everyone went to a local park which had a chip shop next to it - bride and groom ordered fish and chips for everyone and we had it as a picnic with byo drinks. Very informal and everyone loved it!

Some of these sound amazing, I wish more people would do slightly different things, most weddings I've been too are traditional and very boring.

We had a registry office wedding in Wandsworth, I wore a red velvet mini dress. Followed by a meal for 30 in our favourite restaurant, we all walked there as it was just around the corner on Battersea Rise. It was at Xmas so the restaurant decorated the tables with holly and ivy, and there was lots of mistletoe. Then we all got cabs to an Irish pub, for dancing and drinking It was brilliant, and perfect for us.

I’m loving reading this thread because I’m divorced and never saw myself getting married again but have realised my DP (never married) might actually like to. My wedding wasn’t a huge stately home affair, and did have some “different” choices eg it was at 4pm, all at the same venue- a city centre art gallery, no served meal just hot buffet etc, but it did have the traditional elements of white dress, posing for photos, me walking down the aisle, speeches, cutting the cake and first dance. I’ve been with DP 5 years now and we have a baby DD (also have a 7yo from first marriage), so I never really thought about marrying again, really happy with how things are. However we were recently at friends of his wedding (which was the traditional formulaic stately home type, but lovely), and got to talking and in a roundabout way he did say he would like a wedding. And I realised I don’t want to deny him the experience, just because I’ve already done it. I don’t think I could bear doing things like walking down the aisle and having my dad make a speech all over again, it all seems too cringe for a second marriage!! So am enjoying ideas from this thread. I think my preferred would be registry office with close family, arrive and walk in together. Followed by a party at a nearby bar with food and drinks and more people invited, maybe a band. No speeches, unless he wanted to do one himself. No cutting the cake but could have a cake there to serve. Don’t think I’d wear white. Would get a good photographer to document it but less on the formal posed photos and more candid shots. Note: not yet engaged

We booked to get married miles away from where we live, didn’t tell anyone. We had staff from the office next door be witness’s.
Got married in jeans and t shirts.
A friend got married at local registrars, reception at there house, it was lovely.

We had a traditional wedding but tried to make sure all the guests were well fed, had plenty of drinks and that there was plenty for the kids to do. It went down really well because it stopped a lot of the uncomfortable-ness that guests have to deal with at weddings and we all enjoyed it.

My favourite wedding was a small, relaxed one I went to at a converted barn. There was the ceremony first, then some fairly informal photos. The older relatives stayed chatting while the young and middle aged guests went for a walk down to the beach. This was in North Wales so very rural and peaceful. Back to the barn for a few more drinks then to the bride and groom's house for food. It was perfect.

One of the last weddings I went to, the bride - who used to run her own club night back in the day - came out of "retirement" to do a DJ set at the reception (which was in a multi-purpose art space). Wedding dress + massive headphones + crate of vinyl was a good look. And it was a DJ set of proper banging house tunes, not wedding disco cheese.

Ive been to two at a farm - beautiful coastal setting overlooking wild remote beach etc. My strongest memories include the cold, the wind, the rain, the mud. Plus great food and some great dancing. Everyone kind of got on with things. I terestingly that venue no longer does weddings and a few others in the area also. Not just lockdown related but weather related. Far too exposed. Rare for the weather to play ball sufficiently.
Another where the reception was in fact champagne and tea and cakes in small favourite tea shop hired for the occasion. That was just perfect. Simple, small, lovely. Short !

We had about 80 people for an evening event in a “cool” venue. Pretty casual dinner served on platters to people sitting on long tables, tonnes of wine, me and DH said some nice things about each other. I wore a black(!) dress and a massive costume necklace.

Was super fun and v relaxed. I think identikit country house weddings get a bit stale after the first few, though I would never say so!

Ours wasn’t traditional in that we had no evening do and left for our honeymoon straight from the reception. Oh hang on that used to be the tradition didn’t it?

Afternoon tea and cocktails first, then ceremony in a barn followed by prosecco and v quick speeches, followed by bbq and garden party with bouncy castle for dc (and adults also after a few) garden games and fire pit with toasted marshmallows in evening. We had a magician for the dc also.

We got married just the 2 of us in Cornwall last year. Having a party on our first anniversary, there is pie and mash and a bouncy castle.

Do whatever you want. I wouldn't say mine was alternative but we just rolled with what we wanted - in a tent on a farm with afternoon tea and a chip van with a pub quiz.

Recommend Rock n Roll Bride for inspiration - it's so much better than all those insipid other mags.

My biggest pet peeve of traditional weddings? Chair covers. I hate them. Chairs should not wear spandex.

Mine was fab.
Register office for the legal bit.
Fish n chips in our local, first drink on us, no seating plan, I sat on a step
Friends band in the evening, prior to that were our carefully planned playlists.
A close family member sang and played the first dance.
Pub did a buffet late in the evening to soak up the booze.
I made all the decorations, husband did lots of signs (he's an artist and craft is part of my day job though so that helps!)
It was brilliant!

I hate big traditional weddings with a passion.

My first wedding was overseas and tiny.

In the extremely unlikely event that I got married again it would be very small and with minimal fuss.

Big weddings have a nasty habit of sucking the joy out of everything, including the couple’s relationship.

Friends who got married at home at sunrise with just immediate family present. Then extended family and friends invited to drop in to their home at any time over the course of the day to wish them well and say hello. Totally different to any other wedding No presents requested. Was able to actually sit and have a proper chat to the bride and groom rather than just a quick 5 minutes

I've only been to two traditional weddings with a church followed by a posh hotel. I hated them.

Others have been:

Ceremony in register office, reception in parents' garden.

Ceremony on beach, reception in nearby beach house X 2. These were the best.

Ceremony in garden of old windmill, reception in village hall. This was sweet.

Ceremony in church, reception in pub.