Anyone ever had or been to an ‘alternative’ wedding?

[Angelaanaconda10]

Been to 4 in the past 5 years, each one was in a grand stately home/hall type setting, lot of money had clearly been spent. Traditional sit down meal, followed by the first dance, speeches, cutting the cake etc. Long, elegant white dress with a train(trail?)

They were all lovely, clearly very well thought-out and fancy. I hope this doesn’t offend people but it’s not the sort of wedding I would want. I can’t really speak for my partner but I’m not interested in tradition, even in having a white dress. I don’t have the money for such a wedding either and I have zero interest in spending years planning and stressing over every detail like I’ve seen friends do.
I don’t even have enough female close friends I could have as bridesmaids.

Has anyone got stories to share about weddings?

Registry office followed by dinner and fun on the dance floor at a private members club in soho. I had a man of honour instead of bridesmaids and my dress was pink

I wore a deep red dress with a 6ft train, black roses and feathers in my bouquet and hair. My uncle did the photos. We only invited 15 people, just close family and DC, then in the evening we'd booked places for everyone on a ghost walk around a local supposedly haunted stately home, followed by a meal at an Indian restaurant.

My sister had a handfasting ceremony in a beautiful part of Yorkshire, outdoors, obviously. Think maid Marian type dresses, lots of flowers and the kids of the family filling the air with bubbles. Equally incredible. Luckily it was during the warm spell earlier this year.

Second wedding for both of us, we were quite young though, 26 and 28.
Booked the register office and invited a couple of friends as witnesses.
My parents, who knew all about it, decided at the very last minute to travel down 400 miles to be here. The in-laws got wind of that and travelled 200 miles up to be here. One of husband's siblings got wind of it also, and decided to come too. So then there were nine.

Spent the wedding eve trying to book a restaurant for nine people, for after the ceremony, and also picking relatives up from the station and finding places for them to sleep. It sounds very stressful, but it really wasn't. It was really warming and lovely that they decided they didn't want to miss the occasion. It added to the joy!

A month later, a pregnancy test came up positive. "So just in time!" my mother was totally impressed by our alacrity. I was probs about 4 weeks gone when we married, but in fairness, I hadn't known it at the time. We didn't marry 'because' I was pregnant. I just didn't know I was "with child" when we got married.

I'm seriously not arsed that we did't have a big "do". It's the marriage that's important. Not the wedding. I know dozens of folks who had a massive expensive wedding, who are now divorced.

We actually eloped to Gretna green, just us, told no one and it was brilliant. The place we got married did all the planning and we just rocked up the night before which was perfect.

Had a small wedding - 30 people.
We had a sit down meal, with a menu people could choose what they wanted, no first dance or cake cutting or stuff like that.
Just lots of food, plenty to drink and officially everything ended at 7pm, although we left with our last guests at 11pm.
We had cakes that weren’t ‘wedding’ but were delicious, lillies from Tesco for decor that were beautiful and we made sure every guest left with a potted plant, handful of balloons, box of cake or whatever they wanted from the decor.

It was a lovely relaxed vibe.

I went to a wedding recently and there were 28 guests in total, no bridesmaids, groom wore his own suit, dh (best man) wore his own suit. Marquee in pub garden, beef roast dinner for food, cheese wedding cake (crackers and grapes came round later), cupcakes, live band and then kebabs later on. Very relaxed but also fun. Bride and groom had a bbq at theirs the next day.

I also advise to just do lovely things that you want not what you think people want.

We had a wedding weekend with the idea of it all being one big party. We hired a country house, had a lady come and do massages on the day prior and a fish and chip van for tea. Had a bouncy castle and games for kids.
Then caterers brought a full english brunch for the morning of the wedding.
We got married in a beautiful small hotel and then did a lake cruise afterwards.
The 'reception' was back at the country house with a hog roast and a friend did puddings instead of a cake! People got changed and we had lots of drinks and food was amazing!

It was such a lovely weekend.

Although as someone else has said Although it was in no way traditional it took a lot of planning to get it exactly how we wanted it. Was totally worth it though.

Not totally alternative but for our wedding we hired a hall with a wedding licence abd had standard ceremony

While photos were being taken there were handmade sausage rolls, close up magic and an Easter egg hunt for the kids

Meal was fish and chip delivery with ice cream for afters.

Disco and bar after. A lot of fun

Mine wasn’t massively Alternative, but it was just what I wanted. I’m not a fan of big traditional weddings with all the trimmings.

We had 8 guests: my mum and my siblings, and DH’s parents and siblings. No partners or kids. We had a register office ceremony which felt really special with our chosen music and readings, and then lunch in a posh restaurant with plenty of champagne. After that we went home to sit by the fire with our feet up and watch a movie. It snowed overnight, which was a nice touch.

@missymousey

Went to one in a hall, where guests were asked to bring a dish to share instead of a wedding present - it was the most enormous feast imaginable. Invitation said to wear what you most enjoy wearing so there was every outfit from jeans to ballgowns to fancy dress costumes. Bride and groom both musical so they and their friends were the band.

That sounds great

I've been to a couple of much smaller weddings. My aunt got married many years ago in a small room in a registry office, there were probably about 20 of us present? No bridesmaids or anything and she wore a lovely red dress that she hired. She had been with my uncle for many many many years and they had two kids. After the ceremony (which even made teenage me cry, was very touching), we all went to a local independent Italian restaurant that they used to go to frequently anyway and we had a long table on a mezzanine section away from the rest of the diners. All ordered whatever we wanted, no speeches or faff, no evening reception. Was lovely.

More recently, attended DH's uncle's wedding, again small registry office wedding, I think about 30 people maybe, no kids. After the ceremony they had hired a coach to take us all to a local pub and we had exclusive hire of a small function room and outdoor area where we had a three course sit-down meal, but no speeches other than a quick thank you from the groom. The bride did wear white but a fairly simple style and there were no bridesmaids or faff and no evening reception shindig.

I really enjoyed both of those little weddings just as much as big fancy ones I'd been to.

I went to one at Manchester Town Hall which was fab - ceremony reception all in one building, which was great since the weather was atrocious. It was also halloween, so there was a massive Halloween party happening down the corridor, so lots of witches and ghosts running around in the bathrooms.

I also went to a church wedding in Bristol followed by a reception at Bristol Zoo. DH thinks it's the best wedding he's ever been to.

Another friend got married in London - wedding at a Church in Mayfair, then double decker bus to a reception at Hotel Cafe Royale. Maybe 50/60 people max, but no expense spared - it was gorgeous and so intimate. There was a terrace with a view over Regents Street. The next day the brides closest friends and family went to brunch at Brasserie Zedel.

Outing, but I got married on a roof deck and then had my reception in a bookshop. Def not conventional, but I loved it.

Oo I love the idea of a Easter egg hunt or similar..! Although less so the chocolate on their faces 😂

I’m getting married over the upcoming bank holiday weekend. There’ll be 30 of us, family only. It is in a wedding venue but one that caters for small weddings as a speciality. We aren’t having an evening thing but a few of us are all staying at the venue so it’ll just be a relaxed evening of drinks & nattering. My dress is from Monsoon & beautiful. I cannot fathom spending £1000’s on a dress you’ll wear once! My flower girls are my daughters & their dresses are from Asda! One of my friends is doing photography. Another friend is making our cake. My cousin is my maid of honour. Not having bridesmaids.

Think it’ll cost us about £5000 in total. Not super cheap but that does include a fairly pricey honeymoon 😂

Been to many weddings.

My favourites are always the ones with lots of outdoor space.

Been to a few in "fields"

Not a muddy festival type but lovely laid flooring on a marquee, straw bales to sit on, toys for kids, ice cream van, space to wander, can take own blankets etc.

Summer weddings and lucky the weather held and dress code was smart but not as formal as hotel weddings.

One was in a barn, sweet stall, outside space and hot roast for evening buffet.

We are a large family and often there's small church wedding or private ceremony, then sometimes afternoon reception and sometimes just the evening.

My favourite was a great friend who had very private registry office wedding and then bbq in their garden (big garden and large kitchen living space at back of house).
Spent afternoon chatting to people, sat on camping chairs or eating copious amounts of food from the hired in bbq company.

If I ever got married (I literally have no intention to!) I'd have a field reception, bouncy castle for kids, bbq catered, marquee, sweet shop, games etc.
I don't do formal really and id like my guests to feel like they are genuinely having a good time - rather than there just to make my day.

I've been to many lovely weddings. Some were even big tradtional ones

The more unusal ones include
A ski station then an evening playing board games
A couple of registry offices with restaurant meal after
A historic tourist attraction with nedieval theme wedding (they do reenactments)
The most recent one was simply the registry office with immediate family.
Quite a few receptions in community venues and some very casual.

What really matters is picking something fairly practical and something you are comfortable with. The wedding is a celebration of a couple's commitment to each other.

Ours was a standard church/ hotel because it would have been impractical to do something more DIY. But we chose a location special to us, and it was fairly practical and affordable to our guests. Some chose an option of camping in the grounds. We chose things that meant something to us rather than for pure extravagence. We loved getting married and sharing that day with nearly everyone we love which is probably our only chance!

I lived in America in my early 20s and went to lots of barn weddings with outdoor dances. At one, the bride wore a flower crown and a green floral dress with cowboy boots, and she was stunningly gorgeous. Oh, and the food was a hot dog van and chips plus limitless beers in giant coolers filled with ice. It was my fave wedding other than my own.

My best friend had a hand fasting.

My friends hired all of the holiday accomodation in the entire valley in Northumberland. About 5-6 holiday cottages, a couple of camping barns and a YHA hostel which we all shared for the weekend. The little village hall was where the ceremony and reception party was held. Amazing dramatic scenery of the Cheviot hills in the middle of nowhere with only friends and families for miles around with the occasional hill walker passing through. Everyone chipped in in someway. I did a quick shift of the bar another friend was on the decks. Some brought cakes, and everyone was instructed to bring cheese for the cheese board. They organised a couple of mini buses to cart people around as its several miles between the hall and accommodation and no-one wants to walk back home in pitch black with no phone signal and certainly no taxis out there. Amazing fun.

Last wedding I went to was VERY hipster, pie and mash for a meal and it was in a brewery! It was great though really enjoyed it. But I'm a rare MN breed: I love any kind of wedding

We had just 20 people at Sherwood Forest and got married in their wedding room (I don't think it's there anymore). Had our photos taken in the woodland after and ate at a local restaurant.

Two favourite wedding,both very different.

First was a humanist wedding is brisk autumnal day taking place on the banks of river in Somerset. Personally written vows “promises” followed by really lovely vegetarian meal where we sat on blankets

Second took place in a very old fat building outside Lisbon, in amazing gardens. Officiant was not religious. Personally written vows, a friend play guitar and sang some lovely songs.

We had a handfasting. We're actually pagans, so it was the obvious choice. It was part of the druidic midsummer ritual on Primrose Hill.

I went to a wedding reception a couple of years ago which was more 'alternative'. The grooms wore steampunk suits and had a cake based on their outfits. There was bunting made from skimpy knickers and they had a performance from a group of belly dancers. It was a fantastic day.

My cousin got married in the Caribbean. Just her and her partner went out. No-one knew. They sent postcards to everyone telling them the news. My cousin's Mum (my Aunt) had passed away three years earlier and cousin didn't want to do all the planning without her Mum, so they hatched this plan.
When they got back they had a huge celebration at a local castle for family and friends. We all wore fancy dress and had a grand old time. I've never forgotten it.

Second hand dress, mid afternoon ceremony, made my own cake with very good whiskey in, few DIY flowers, women did speeches too, student bar, biggest expense was a great live ceilidh band.

But y’know, if you’d been a guest it would have looked like the traditional ones you’re not keen on. Turns out a marquee and hog roast costs rather a lot and makes an indoor sit down dinner look great value. And a lovely old building means no need to spend days and days on bunting and lights. So we went with what was easy and stress free, which wasn’t what we thought would be easy and stress free…