No, most step mothers do not "know what they're getting into"

[Wobb]

How could they if it's their first experience of being a step parent or having a blended family?

"You went into this with your eyes wide open"

Yes indeed, full of good intentions and hopes for the future in most cases.

Nobody can predict how dynamics will play out later on down the line.

I don't think any step parent enters into the role, choosing to settle down with somebody who has a first family, in full knowledge that they will be miserable or not cut out for it. What a ridiculous thing to say.

Please stop saying this to step parents who are finding it difficult.

Helps if you’re not desperate for a fella
Ooh I missed this cunty little line upthread.
I was perfectly happy doing my own thing before I met DH thanks. Vibrators are a thing. FWBs are a thing. Women work now you know, have their own homes and cars and friends and shit to do etc. Wouldn't say I was desperate, no.
If DH had expected me to "play mum" or let his ex "affect my life" I'd have been gone. Not all NRPs are feckless invertebrates.

@Youseethethingis

Helps if you’re not desperate for a fella Ooh I missed this cunty little line upthread. I was perfectly happy doing my own thing before I met DH thanks. Vibrators are a thing. FWBs are a thing. Women work now you know, have their own homes and cars and friends and shit to do etc. Wouldn't say I was desperate, no. If DH had expected me to "play mum" or let his ex "affect my life" I'd have been gone. Not all NRPs are feckless invertebrates.

Cunty indeed!!!

I wasn't desperate for a fella either, I was quite happy going out and clubbing and socialising and being a young adult. I was utterly swept off my feet by love bombing, which I'd never experienced and it convinced me that i wanted something I should have run the fuck away from. I gave up my university course. I gave up my dreams of living abroad, my idea of finding the one and having marriage and children for the first time with one another, my dreams of buying a home, of so many damn things, because by the time I he let me see who he was, I was guilt tripped into feeing like I too was going to be the reason children ended up in therapy if I abandoned them, and then by the time I was determined to go, I was pregnant and terrified he was going to take my child away from me if I left. Seventeen years after I met this motherfucker, I finally own a home, finally am doing my degree and finally met the one for me and got married, but I could so easily have been completely destroyed by him and his kids, and I didn't even want a boyfriend when I met him!