First time here eek

[pickle46]

Hello All
First time poster, what do I need to know about how Mumsnet works.
Any tips would be great
Thanks in advance to those who reply

DSpider. I like that. (The spiders rubbing their todgers on washing at night is a weapons grade level of batshit even by MN standards, though).

I do draw the line at DWasp. Don’t swat one, by the way – even though they’re vicious, nasty, stingy little suckers – or you’re a cruel, contemptible murderer who should be lined up against a wall and shot with shit.

PS. Talking about Christmas in August is illegal.

PPS. Boswell? What’s that?

You do NOT want to know about Boswell!

If you do a post about parking then you have to include a diagram,always.

@MintyGreenDream

If you do a post about parking then you have to include a diagram,always.

Yes even if (as I said upthread) even a 4 year old could understand the scenario. Inexplicably a diagram is demanded.

Don’t ever google Dragon Butter……. I learned this the hard way after reading a MN thread when I first joined.

MN is fab. I’ve learned so much from it; crucially how different we all are and how different our lives are and yet there are often similarities to be found. I see things from so many new perspectives now and at the risk of sounding a bit wanky I think it’s made me a better person.

Also, boak means to vom. Many of you are probably boaking at my last sentence.

In my defence, gin has been consumed

The feminism boards are amazing. Lots of highly intelligent, articulate posters that I bloody wish I knew in real life.

Shark vs Dyson = get a miele

Parent and baby parking

If you expect that as a parent with a child you should expect to get a bay over a young bloke in a builders van expect to be called an entitled, selfish layabout who has no regard for invisible disabilities

If you post on The Litter Tray (cats), you must include a photo. Let me demonstrate.
(Any excuse )

Ask about any sort of disposable sanitary protection (or Sanpro if you like a cringy shortened version) and you’ll be told how wonderful Mooncups are. Even if you have no intention of using one, ever.

I am cracking up so much I. The middle.of the night where I am at these thanks !

Did someone say cat pictures?

Welcome to the vipers nest

1. There's loads of crazy cat ladies on MN
2. If you shop at Aldi, Lidl or Asda you'll have friends for life.
3. If you post on AIBU make sure you really do have an AIBU and not posting for traffic.
4. NEVER admit it if you're a Brexiter or a Tory voter or fancy Boris.
5. Go to Sporner's Corner - interesting.
6. Have a look at Mumsnet Classics for Cancel the cheque and Softzilla. Think they're there.
7. MNHQ ladies are nice

I thought the was more for if someone brags/stealth brags and you say "what you want a cookie?" So it's true you learn new things here every time. I knew about the darked on wash on the line and spider Willies as also no toilet brush...but washing up bowl though...what's could be wrong with that?!

This is the MN bat.

If you start a thread about anything, it'll be assumed that you're getting worked up about it, and often that it's the most stressful thing in your life.

Example:
AIBU to want to buy this sandwich?

OP, why are you getting so worked up about a sandwich?

Also, if you post anything about someone who annoys you, you'll get a response like this:

I had a MIL once, but she died of scurvy. I'd run through boiling water just to have her spit in my face one last time.

If you're in an abusive relationship, even if you haven't quite realised what's actually happening yourself, mumsnetters will come out in force to support you. There are many genuinely kind and compassionate human beings on here.

MN has some excellent emoticons, some of which aren't well publicised like and

Welcome to MN! You’ll love it here, honestly! 🤣 Here’s a few pointers though

1. As you mentioned, a chicken can feed a family for 5 meals and don’t you dare throw the carcass away, it must be used to make soup/stock

1. Any niggle or disagreement you have will your other half should result in divorce or him/her leaving as he/she is an arse

1. According to a lot of posts over the years I cook shite, clean shite, socialise shite so basically I’m shite at life according to the MN bible

1. No one has credit card debt, or any debt of any kind, credit cards are always paid off every month and car HP /any kind of loan is very bad

1. Everyone is mortgage free by 40 with several homes under their belts (also mortgage free)

1. Everyone is a very high earner

1. If your skint and ask for suggestions on anything to do with money management the answer is not remotely helpful or budget friendly

1. All mother in laws appear to be a spawn of Satan (no idea why but there’s a lot of threads about those evil ones 🤣)

1. Don’t post anything on MN that you need help with

10. I repeat DO NOT post anything that you need help with, you will feel shiter about yourself

Hope that helps..

I think this must be the most convivial AIBU thread I've ever come across in all my years on MN!

If you don't wash dry and iron all of your bedding at least once a week, and if you don't wear clean ironed pyjamas every night then you're a dirty scuzzy revolting tramp.

My name is Ryanbloodyair and I'm a dirty scuzzy revolting tramp.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop found it!! 😉😆😆

@ryanbloodyair

If you don't wash dry and iron all of your bedding at least once a week, and if you don't wear clean ironed pyjamas every night then you're a dirty scuzzy revolting tramp.

My name is Ryanbloodyair and I'm a dirty scuzzy revolting tramp.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop found it!! 😉😆😆

I’m a scuzzy revolting tramp too!

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch

This is the MN bat.

Yes but do you remember the MN scarf...