First time here eek

[pickle46]

Hello All
First time poster, what do I need to know about how Mumsnet works.
Any tips would be great
Thanks in advance to those who reply

I doubt I will ever need to use any of those either, but nice to know they are available to me.

'You have a DH problem' is probably one of the most used terms on MN of late. And I bloody hate it!

Oh me too! Major cringe every time I see it. 😂

there's a secret to posting nothing

Tarsus emoji doesn't seem to be available on the mobile app. Sad times.

@LifesNotEnidBlyton

Do not post a question in AIBU (Am I being Unreasonable) unless you've got your hard hat on. You can post the most obvious and uncontroversial question ever there and someone will have something bad to say about it.

Then some things that go down really badly on Mumsnet -

Drugs
Age gap relationships
When you're a step parent if you ask a question about the step children you will most likely be told you are wrong, the ex wife is right, and you shouldn't be with a person with children if you can't be ok with them doing whatever they want and the ex wife running your life (Semi joke, but not as much as you'd want it to be).
Post something about your husband (DH) has done and you will most likely be told a few times in your thread that he is abusive and you need to leave him (LTB).
Post something about wanting something from your mum and dad, like asking them to babysit or asking why they want to leave everything to the cats home when you and your sibling both live in tents and they have an eight bedroom house in Chelsea, you will be told you are greedy and that they don't owe you.
When you and your DH divorce the only child custody agreement should be EOW and half the holidays with their dad, he should leave the family home, and the mother becomes the RP. There are few comments who don't assume this will be the case. Whatever the divorce is happening for and whoevers fault, if anyones, it is it is assumed the children "belong" to the woman. But if someone ever posts years after a divorce and her ex only sees his children EOW and half the holidays everyone wants to know why he "Sees his children so little".

This perfectly sums up MN

Don't forget, you'll most likely be doing 'feminism' wrong, and

• wearing your hair long or wearing heels means that you are only dressing for 'the male gaze'. If you insist you do it for yourself, you will be gaslighted into thinking you have internalised misogyny.

• liking sex in a way that sees you doing it any way other than missionary a bit rough will see you branded a troll or a pervert.

• pointing out that sometimes a man's reaction (obviously not involving abuse or assault) can be due to trauma and not a hatred of women will have you called a MRA.

Good luck!

@KurtWilde

Tarsus emoji doesn't seem to be available on the mobile app. Sad times.

@KurtWilde

type [ tardis ] with no gaps.

Folk here are obsessed with being the first to call out a reverse .

Just trying these emoticons. I presume the first one is the other being ….

Are the extra emojis on the app? I don’t have a tardis…

Ayyy thanks zing! Guess where I'll be spamming that emoji now

@KurtWilde

Ayyy thanks zing! Guess where I'll be spamming that emoji now

@KurtWilde

🤣🤣🤣

and I'll be leaving blank posts. mwahaha

If you decide you don't like it and leave, you have to announce it here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/flouncers_corner

Some people here don't have kids and it's fine but every so often someone will question it for no reason.

We like to give mooncup advice. The sun published some of it.

Sex lube and a fish slice is insufficient to get a stuck pan off the hob.

I forgot about "snapped and farted" 😂😂😂. It really did seem like a typo initially.

Every now and again, a poster with a ‘complete’ family, will come on and tell everyone how irresponsible they would be to have children given what we have recently learned about global warming.

Everyone hates weddings. No one wants to go to any ever. If you spent more than £100 on yours, you wasted your money and are a flash wanker.

@meganorks

Everyone hates weddings. No one wants to go to any ever. If you spent more than £100 on yours, you wasted your money and are a flash wanker.

Conversely many MNs also think £100 is the minimum wedding gift.

And a lot of Mumsnetters think asking for money as a wedding present is not on. Especially if it's in the form of a wanky poem.

Don't ever disclose that you're larger than a size 10 or you'll be bombarded with lots of PA comments about your "health" but they basically mean you're disgustingly fat and you should be eating dust and doing at least 30k steps a day before the family has woken up!

Don't ever say you don't understand something tangible eg hair extensions.

Don't be pro-Brexit or pro-Tory.

If you're a step-parent keep schtum.

If you complain about parking you must include a diagram (MN law!)

Don't ever disagree with AnyFucker. I don't think she minds but everyone else will pile on!

[quote Thelnebriati]If you decide you don't like it and leave, you have to announce it here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/flouncers_corner[/quote]
Oh. My. Word.

This has now been upgraded to the best thread ever.

But if you do announce your departure someone will always say

'it's not an airport you don't have to announce your departure'

Like they are the first person to ever say it.

What's wrong with a toilet brush?
How else does one clean the shit off the side of the bog?

Great to have had so much feedback
Any other comments still very much welcomed

@sofiegiraffe

'You have a DH problem' is probably one of the most used terms on MN of late. And I bloody hate it!

Oh me too! Major cringe every time I see it. 😂

And don't forget you sound like hard work, seen it a few times as a response to a perfectly innocuous question

I've been here for years (one of those child-free posters that are sometimes questioned for being here), never knew about Naked Thursday. Relieved I didn't see this thread until Friday...