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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Housemate who secretly recorded us has been made a lecturer at UK university

334 replies

Smurfsarethefuture · 12/08/2021 12:15

I cannot be unreasonable here. I wrote on here about two yrs ago about my housemate who hid a camera in our kitchen. He is now a lecturer at a London uni.

The police were not interested neither was landlady- I didn’t contact university and am now wondering should I?

OP posts:
Guavaf1sh · 13/08/2021 16:19

Let it go. It’s weird still being obsessed with this

proopher · 13/08/2021 16:21

OP I think the 'problem' with the thread (for want of a better word) is that you haven't really been clear with why you want to contact the university or what you specifically are concerned about. You seem to think it is obvious, but it isn't.

If you think he was filming you for sexual gratification, or for other malicious purposes such as stalking for example, then yes, this is a serious issue which should require police intervention and I can see why you would be concerned by him lecturing 18 year olds, many of whom are vulnerable.

But if he was just a difficult housemate who was trying to find out if someone was stealing his food, or trying to catch someone leaving the drawers and cupboard doors open etc, then this is a different issue entirely. While ill advised, it isn't an issue in the same way the above situation would be and it would be ridiculous to contact his place of work.

There is a big difference between the two scenarios and you haven't really said which side his behaviour falls on.

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:22

@PurpleDaisies

Report him OP.. tell them your experience.. let them decide if this is someone they want teaching in their Uni.. let them make an informed decision.

An informed decision based on what? The op’s say so? How are the uni supposed to establish what exactly happened?

Careers have been exposed for seedy behaviours for less ... online

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:24

@proopher

OP I think the 'problem' with the thread (for want of a better word) is that you haven't really been clear with why you want to contact the university or what you specifically are concerned about. You seem to think it is obvious, but it isn't.

If you think he was filming you for sexual gratification, or for other malicious purposes such as stalking for example, then yes, this is a serious issue which should require police intervention and I can see why you would be concerned by him lecturing 18 year olds, many of whom are vulnerable.

But if he was just a difficult housemate who was trying to find out if someone was stealing his food, or trying to catch someone leaving the drawers and cupboard doors open etc, then this is a different issue entirely. While ill advised, it isn't an issue in the same way the above situation would be and it would be ridiculous to contact his place of work.

There is a big difference between the two scenarios and you haven't really said which side his behaviour falls on.

yes that's true ...

in the original Thread I felt OP was afraid to say it ... 🌸

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:24

Careers have been exposed for seedy behaviours for less ... online

That’s not at all an answer to the question I asked. How will the uni establish that the op is telling the truth? Are they supposed to go back and investigate?

If the op wants to pursue this, the police are the only ones who will be able to do that.

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:26

@PurpleDaisies

Careers have been exposed for seedy behaviours for less ... online

That’s not at all an answer to the question I asked. How will the uni establish that the op is telling the truth? Are they supposed to go back and investigate?

If the op wants to pursue this, the police are the only ones who will be able to do that.

Perhaps...

or she takes it online... and let the Social Networks do their worst ..

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:27

or she takes it online... and let the Social Networks do their worst

She hasn’t suggested this. It’s an unwise move,

Again, what do you expect the uni to do?

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:33

@PurpleDaisies

or she takes it online... and let the Social Networks do their worst

She hasn’t suggested this. It’s an unwise move,

Again, what do you expect the uni to do?

They can make an informed decision ..

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:34

They can make an informed decision ..

Based on what???!???
The op’s say so?

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:36

@PurpleDaisies

They can make an informed decision ..

Based on what???!???
The op’s say so?

That's what an informed decision is ... they can either ignore it or accept it..

this is an informed decision ..

Report it OP 🌸

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:38

They cannot make an informed decision based on the say so of a random person walking in off the street.

How do you honestly think this would work?

My ex was an arsehole who hit me once before I split up with him. Could I walk in to his office anc demand his boss fire him even though it have zero proof it ever happened?

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2021 16:39

@disco123

Giving a factual report of someone's actions is not harassment. And truth is an absolute defence against a charge of libel.
Giving a factual report is fine. Giving a partial factual report is not. If she does it it needs to be full. Do you have multiple user names?
QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:41

@PurpleDaisies

They cannot make an informed decision based on the say so of a random person walking in off the street.

How do you honestly think this would work?

My ex was an arsehole who hit me once before I split up with him. Could I walk in to his office anc demand his boss fire him even though it have zero proof it ever happened?

of course they can...

She can tell them her experience of this man. They can speak to him. They can weigh the possibilities and make an informed decision.

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:42

My ex was an arsehole who hit me once before I split up with him. Could I walk in to his office anc demand his boss fire him even though it have zero proof it ever happened?

Does he teach people in Uni ?

TheAverageUser · 13/08/2021 16:42

I haven't read your other thread but from the information on this one it wouldn't be fair to contact his employer.

You had an incident that you reported to the police at the time and it wasn't of concern to them. That should be the end of the matter surely.

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:43

@QueenBee52

My ex was an arsehole who hit me once before I split up with him. Could I walk in to his office anc demand his boss fire him even though it have zero proof it ever happened?

Does he teach people in Uni ?

A lot of companies have zero tolerance policies ..

so there is a good chance you could have exposed him yes.

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:44

so there is a good chance you could have exposed him yes.

Two years later with no proof?

QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:44

@PurpleDaisies

so there is a good chance you could have exposed him yes.

Two years later with no proof?

did you report it ?

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:47

This is getting far too personal.

The point is, lots of people will have skeletons in their closets.

If those are to be pursued, that should be done by the police and not some magical university investigation department that looks into disputes between old housemates.

Hekatestorch · 13/08/2021 16:49

@QueenBee52 what? It's a fetish and he didn't stop?

Do you know him? Are you the op or one of the house mates? Or, more likely, are you adding a load of stuff in that you have made up and now acting as though it's fact?

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 13/08/2021 16:49

particularly one that was secretly recording all his housemates without their permission..

Which 'one' was that then? Certainly not the man in the OP going by the OP's own account of events.

is he still doing it? in the class rooms?

Experiments? Quite possibly.

I wouldn't want a creep like that teaching anyone..

Aye, those people who might or might not have once been in breach of a tenancy agreement. Right scourge of society they are.

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2021 16:49

This is getting odd, one or two posters desperate for the man to be reported and done so in a way that makes him look like a pervert, by giving partial facts. Everyone else saying the same thing, a big fat no.

Just really odd.

PurpleDaisies · 13/08/2021 16:50

@Bluntness100

This is getting odd, one or two posters desperate for the man to be reported and done so in a way that makes him look like a pervert, by giving partial facts. Everyone else saying the same thing, a big fat no.

Just really odd.

Agreed.
QueenBee52 · 13/08/2021 16:51

@PurpleDaisies

This is getting far too personal.

The point is, lots of people will have skeletons in their closets.

If those are to be pursued, that should be done by the police and not some magical university investigation department that looks into disputes between old housemates.

Im sorry to hear this happened to you.. in your personal situ.. 🌸

my friend suffered similar.. he lost his architect position because the company had a Zero Tolerance policy in place which he signed as part of his contract.

again Im sorry to hear you experienced this. 🌸

AgileSlug · 13/08/2021 16:51

Sadly, I couldn't imagine the university would do anything. The police didn't do anything at the time, so he would be considered "innocent until proven guilty"

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