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Original poster

Housemate who secretly recorded us has been made a lecturer at UK university

334 replies

Smurfsarethefuture · 12/08/2021 12:15

I cannot be unreasonable here. I wrote on here about two yrs ago about my housemate who hid a camera in our kitchen. He is now a lecturer at a London uni.

The police were not interested neither was landlady- I didn’t contact university and am now wondering should I?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 12/08/2021 18:19

Eh? How was it innocent and how did OP know this?

Um read the thread or the last one, you’re confused on how forums work, we aren’t here to save you the effort and summarise for you, 😂

conxray · 12/08/2021 18:37

You finally (sort of) explain in the other thread that he’s doing some sort of tech/robotics/engineering research project where when the camera senses movement or noise, it causes something like the plants to be watered or a switch to be turned on. Hardly sinister and creepy behaviour

Exactly. It's so annoying when an OP is so evasive like this. Why not explain this at the beginning of this thread too?
The OP also said in the other thread that when she complained about the camera in the kitchen the housemate then moved it so it was pointing out of the front window and was no longer pointing at any of the housemates inside the house.
So yes, he shouldn't have done what he did. When he was challenged about it he moved it. Yes, I'd have been fucking furious/really pissed off too.
But no, it's not sinister and creepy and is not something that warrants him losing his job/career over.

plodalong12 · 12/08/2021 18:54

@Bluntness100
What was the reason, I can’t access the other thread. The ops comments just feel malicious and spiteful. Likes she’s envious this guy is a success and wants to ruin it for him

This is what the OP wrote:

He is working on a project sequencing film scenes through machine learning. I presume he will say he wanted to track motion in front of a lense, etc, etc. When I found the camera I said no recording bt then found he had moved camera to front room and started recorded front of house. Then set up a different thing (not sure what it is) to automate watering plants that works from his computer It doesn't have a camera on it (that I can see) or recording device.

This, coupled with the nasty posts about the housemate (to be fair, who does sound like he acted horrendously as a housemate) seems like a bitter act to take someone down, someone, who the OP admits works in the same field as her, and who she has just learned got a promotion as a lecturer whilst she hasn’t.

Notthemessiah · 12/08/2021 19:01

What a weird thread. OP could not be more obtuse or put together a worse case if she tried.

All I can think is that I'm very glad I didn't share a house with either her or the bloke with the camera.

LittleLadyCece · 12/08/2021 19:17

OP having read the original post I think it's time you let this go and stop festering on the past. He was completely wrong in not asking permission but I can't see why you think this needs to be dragged up again with his employer. Especially as the police, other housemates and landlady didn't think it was worth taking further at the time.

I'm baffled as to what your concerns from a safeguarding point of view are now that he's a lecturer??

LadyJJ · 12/08/2021 19:22

I've lectured at a university and they don't do a PBS because you're not working with vulnerable adults or children.
I was surprised at the time.
So I doubt passing on what is in reality hearsay will do anything.
He's bound to say its malicious , but agree he sounds awful.

MurielSpriggs · 12/08/2021 19:30

It's so annoying when an OP is so evasive like this. Why not explain this at the beginning of this thread too?

Clearly to conceal any facts which are likely to result in her being labelled unreasonable. Which she said in her very first sentence is not an acceptable answer!

(And even then it didn't work.)

VestaTilley · 12/08/2021 19:33

YANBU. I’d write to his head of department and dean of the faculty, cc’ing the uni head of HR so they’re at least aware and can’t brush it under the carpet.

Was the intent to see if anyone was stealing his food? Or more sinister? Either way, it’s odd and will escalate if not confronted.

I’d also suggest reporting to a different police force and see if they take a different view. It’s definitely more than odd behaviour.

Flowers500 · 12/08/2021 19:41

@VestaTilley

YANBU. I’d write to his head of department and dean of the faculty, cc’ing the uni head of HR so they’re at least aware and can’t brush it under the carpet.

Was the intent to see if anyone was stealing his food? Or more sinister? Either way, it’s odd and will escalate if not confronted.

I’d also suggest reporting to a different police force and see if they take a different view. It’s definitely more than odd behaviour.

Have you read the thread—either this one or the previous one? You’ll see that OP has so misrepresented the situation as to essentially be lying. It sounds like he’s being borderline harassed by an ex roommate
jimmyhill · 12/08/2021 19:43

YANBU. I’d write to his head of department and dean of the faculty, cc’ing the uni head of HR so they’re at least aware and can’t brush it under the carpet.

Yeah, this would be harassment

Since OP won't answer this question maybe some of her allies will: what law do we reckon this guy has broken?

WiddlinDiddlin · 12/08/2021 20:12

So, a bloke you shared a house with when you were all students, was a dick, did something unethical which you didn't like.

You didn't handle it correctly. Nor did he.

Now, some years later, you want to disrupt his life/career with this issue?

Most students have some something immoral or unethical, because they are teenagers and almost all.. dicks.

If we are all to be judged forever more by the stupid shit we did when we were 19, we're all fucked (except presumably, you, because you've never made a questionable decision in your life I assume).

I danced naked in in the rain and had a threesome when I was 19... I took speed, got lifts from strangers, pulled in clubs and went home with strangers...

Would I do those things now..... um..... fuck no. Were they stupid, dangerous, immoral.. hell yes, illegal even....

But that isn't who I am now!

Yes, it does often turn out that nasty serial killers, paedos and molesters turn out to have done some stupid/weird/creepy shit in their pasts... because frankly most people have done something that was stupid or looked weird or creepy to someone, somewhere along the line.

You know of ONE incident with this guy, with no evidence there was anything malicious or creepy behind it, and plenty of context to suggest it was innocent albeit dickheadishly implemented.

I really do think you need to get over it.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2021 20:30

This, coupled with the nasty posts about the housemate (to be fair, who does sound like he acted horrendously as a housemate) seems like a bitter act to take someone down, someone, who the OP admits works in the same field as her, and who she has just learned got a promotion as a lecturer whilst she hasn’t

That’s sadly what it looks like. He got a promotion. She’s envious and she wants to hurt him because he’s got what she hasn’t.

CalishataFolkart · 13/08/2021 00:15

@WiddlinDiddlin

So, a bloke you shared a house with when you were all students, was a dick, did something unethical which you didn't like.

You didn't handle it correctly. Nor did he.

Now, some years later, you want to disrupt his life/career with this issue?

Most students have some something immoral or unethical, because they are teenagers and almost all.. dicks.

If we are all to be judged forever more by the stupid shit we did when we were 19, we're all fucked (except presumably, you, because you've never made a questionable decision in your life I assume).

I danced naked in in the rain and had a threesome when I was 19... I took speed, got lifts from strangers, pulled in clubs and went home with strangers...

Would I do those things now..... um..... fuck no. Were they stupid, dangerous, immoral.. hell yes, illegal even....

But that isn't who I am now!

Yes, it does often turn out that nasty serial killers, paedos and molesters turn out to have done some stupid/weird/creepy shit in their pasts... because frankly most people have done something that was stupid or looked weird or creepy to someone, somewhere along the line.

You know of ONE incident with this guy, with no evidence there was anything malicious or creepy behind it, and plenty of context to suggest it was innocent albeit dickheadishly implemented.

I really do think you need to get over it.

He was 31 wasn’t he?
disco123 · 13/08/2021 11:41

@NautaOcts

I can see where you’re coming from but do you think he will lose his job and livelihood because of this? Do you think he presents a risk to his potential students?

From what you’ve said I can see why you’re concerned/angry but I don’t think there’s evidence that he does, is there?

Also I know this is not the point but if he was going to put a camera somewhere and had sexual motivation wouldn’t he gone for the bathroom or bedroom?

Honestly, who gives a shit what happen to him? He did it, that was his choice. It is not up to women to stay silent about this kind of thing because it might have repercussions for the male perpetrator.
disco123 · 13/08/2021 11:44

@Flowers500

I just read your full other thread. If you try to create job issues for him now then frankly I think he should report you to the police for harassment. You don't have any "safeguarding concerns" and you intentionally didn't tell the full story as you KNEW you were not in the right to try to make this a career-ending thing.

He was a shitty housemate. As anyone who has been to uni will tell you, at least 10-20% of the population fall into this category then go on to be completely normal, boring employees.

Grow up and get a new hobby! You're weirdly obsessed with him.

She's not "trying to create job issues" she is considering how she can best report the facts of what this creep did in order to protect other humans from him. I wish more people were like OP and had the forever and will to stand up against such men.
disco123 · 13/08/2021 11:47

@jimmyhill

YANBU. I’d write to his head of department and dean of the faculty, cc’ing the uni head of HR so they’re at least aware and can’t brush it under the carpet.

Yeah, this would be harassment

Since OP won't answer this question maybe some of her allies will: what law do we reckon this guy has broken?

If he hasn't broken any law and what he did is A-OK, then why should it be a problem If OP informs his employers?
disco123 · 13/08/2021 11:48

Forever = bravery

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2021 11:57

If he hasn't broken any law and what he did is A-OK, then why should it be a problemIf OP informs his employers?

Well it’s not, but it’s a bit pointless.

“Hey when I was a student in-house shared with x, he ran an extremely interesting project on kinetics with technology, it resulted in him videoing movement in thr kitchen. It was innocent but we didn’t like it so he moved the camera and continued the project videoing the outside of the property. Thought you should know, oh and he likes roast chicken”

Aye I mean if that’s your bag you and the op could be bessies, but the rest of us are thinking that’s a bit pointless.😂.

MsHedgehog · 13/08/2021 12:02

@Bluntness100

If he hasn't broken any law and what he did is A-OK, then why should it be a problemIf OP informs his employers?

Well it’s not, but it’s a bit pointless.

“Hey when I was a student in-house shared with x, he ran an extremely interesting project on kinetics with technology, it resulted in him videoing movement in thr kitchen. It was innocent but we didn’t like it so he moved the camera and continued the project videoing the outside of the property. Thought you should know, oh and he likes roast chicken”

Aye I mean if that’s your bag you and the op could be bessies, but the rest of us are thinking that’s a bit pointless.😂.

I mean let’s be serious, OP will miss out the facts to make the guy seem sleezy, as she tried to do here...
TeachesOfPeaches · 13/08/2021 12:04

When you reported to the police did you get a crime number or did you just speak to the front desk officer and no further action was taken?

disco123 · 13/08/2021 12:04

"It was innocent"

I don't think you know this, so wouldn't state that, but apart from that comment, yes, a factual account of how he made a video recording of his female flatMates inside their home without their consent would be sufficient.

What the uni do about it is up to them.

Rainbowshit · 13/08/2021 12:08

I believe you that he made you feel uncomfortable. From the information you've given it doesn't really sound like he had any sinister intentions in the filming that he did though. It was wrong for him not to ask for permission but sounds more thoughtless than anything.

I don't know what you really hope to achieve as it doesn't sound like he poses a risk to anyone on the information that you have given.

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2021 12:09

@disco123

"It was innocent"

I don't think you know this, so wouldn't state that, but apart from that comment, yes, a factual account of how he made a video recording of his female flatMates inside their home without their consent would be sufficient.

What the uni do about it is up to them.

Well according to her last thread she felt it was innocent and didn’t care about it. But you’re right, totally, she could twist it and make him seem like a pervert. Absolutely. We can all make shit up. Nice suggestion.
sloutside · 13/08/2021 12:12

For the benefit of those who haven't seen the OP's previous thread when the incident initially happened, the OP wrote on that thread:

He is working on a project sequencing film scenes through machine learning. I presume he will say he wanted to track motion in front of a lense, etc, etc. When I found the camera I said no recording bt then found he had moved camera to front room and started recorded front of house. Then set up a different thing (not sure what it is) to automate watering plants that works from his computer It doesn't have a camera on it (that I can see) or recording device.

This was the reason for the camera being in the kitchen. It should not have been there and he should not have done this without asking his housemates' permission. When the OP complained, he moved the camera out of the kitchen to point out of the front of the house. She could also have objected to this if he was recording her coming and going to the front door for example.

What he did was out of order. However the OP has implied on this thread that there were sleazy intentions and has been deliberately vague about what happened, not even mentioning on this thread what the purpose behind the filming was. She has been very evasive about what happened.

He should not have been filming anything without permission. However there is a huge difference between what he actually did and someone hiding a camera in a bathroom or a bedroom to spy on people naked.

disco123 · 13/08/2021 12:18

@bluntness

I specifically said A FACTUAL account of what happened. That is the exact opposite of making things up. There is no purpose or need to make anything up. Report the facts only.

If you think filming women without consent in their home is OK and totally not creepy, them you and he have nothing to worry about, do you?