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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

GCSE hell. What can I say to get them to back off

317 replies

SVlover · 11/08/2021 22:33

I have a lovely daughter who just doesn’t do so well in exams. I have lovely friends who have A star exam performing daughters. And in-laws with daughters who are outstanding from an academic point of view. My friends. Tomorrow….They all want to celebrate!!! But I am sure results here won’t be wonderful. My daughter is distraught. 2 years ago she took an overdose. So good exam results, or lack of them, mean v little to me. My family are v academic. We feel sort of pressured by my side of the family and my friends about results. My daughter can probably repeat if things don’t go well. I’m ok about it. AIBU to tell everyone to back off.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 12/08/2021 19:46

WooHoo well done your DD!

I always feel far more excited for those that have had to work really hard to get their results.

I hope she finds a college course/subject she loves studying.

willowsmumsy · 12/08/2021 19:48

I was a relatively high achiever in school and got AAC at A level (I'm old so A* didn't exist then!). My grandmother was devastated she couldn't phone up everyone she'd ever met to tel them I'd got 3As. I was happy- I'd got into uni to do the course I wanted. I used to have people asking me exactly what grades I'd had- bloody cheek!! With my children I never say what grades they've had- just how proud of them I am. And I am. They're wonderful!

Rowgtfc72 · 12/08/2021 19:56

My mum told everyone I failed gcses as I only got one a. I also failed my a levels as I got an e and two ds.
I went to uni to escape and came away with a BA ( hons) degree but I'd failed as I switched from teaching to English Lit.

Dd is very bright but not academic in the slightest. She's picked gcses that are more coursework as quite frankly she's crap at exams. She's yr 10 when she goes back but knows we expect c grade work at least. Anything else is a bonus. We want her to enjoy her gcses. She quite fancies being a mechanic which we think is brilliant. My Facebook will light up with friends with A grades and uni places but dd knows the experience is as important.

Well done to your ddStar

worriedatthemoment · 12/08/2021 20:18

I just posted that mine had done well and ai was proud of them, compared to all the results i have seen on facebook mine only did ok, but exams aren't there thing and for them and their ability they have done really well and worked and tried so hard when working from home, so for that I am
Proud.
My friends son is upset as he got 1/2', but he isn't academic and all i said to him was that gcse are not the be all and end all, and to forget about them and just look forward to his college course that he is doing, you can't change whats happened just move on to the next chapter. And he struggles bit he really tried and gave it his best and thats all you can ask .

Kiduknot · 12/08/2021 20:18

Was dd relieved and pleased or did she just compare herself to others?

Hope it was the former. Congratulations

Original poster
SVlover · 12/08/2021 20:18

That’s great news! X

OP posts:
Original poster
SVlover · 12/08/2021 20:19

Thanks x

OP posts:
Kiduknot · 12/08/2021 20:20

Also pleased to say all the posts on Facebook I saw were not actually mentioning grades, so that’s good.

Original poster
SVlover · 12/08/2021 20:20

Thanks. X

OP posts:
emeraldcity2000 · 12/08/2021 20:29

Well done and well done to you for such supportive parenting...
I hope my children always feel that trying hard is what counts.

Personally, I got excellent grades in all my exams (only one mark that wasn't top grade, always commented on as 'a shame')... sadly, driven by a need to be perfect that also led me down a path of 10 years of eating disorders. I always wish someone had told me that you don't have to be perfect, that they weren't only proud of me because of what I'd got but also who I was.

Xxxxx

powershowerforanhour · 12/08/2021 20:35

actually asked me for my son’s exact mark

Shock Urgh. So tacky. Or vulgar as my mum would have put it. If they're still at it, I dare you to leave a big pause, raise both eyebrows as high as they'll go, say "Scundered a hundred for ya" and change the subject.

adeleh · 12/08/2021 21:20

Hurrah for your DD!

Original poster
SVlover · 13/08/2021 00:34

@Kiduknot

Was dd relieved and pleased or did she just compare herself to others?

Hope it was the former. Congratulations

Sort of a combination of both. !! But she’s ok now. Thanks
OP posts:
Original poster
SVlover · 13/08/2021 10:42

@MissMarplesGoddaughter

Thinking of you and your DD today x

You've been given some fab responses here.

Yes indeed I have! great support that got me through a weird day. Thanks
OP posts:
Original poster
SVlover · 13/08/2021 23:45

Thanks for your words of encouragement x

OP posts:
Original poster
SVlover · 14/08/2021 09:46

Thanks so much. The best to u as well x

OP posts:
ODFOx · 14/08/2021 20:07

OP I'm glad to have found your thread again. Congratulations to your DD on getting her college place!
A new adventure for you all!

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