To ask if you are a regular Facebook poster can you explainhy do people post literally what they do every day on FB?

[bigbeautybummum]

Why some people post what they are doing every single day? I'd love to know from someone who does. Friends posting what their DC doing every day, daily family stuff etc . I just don't get it?

So @sofiegiraffe - you’re admitting that a). men don’t do it, and b). women do it for validation.

@sofiegiraffe my point was that I was agreeing with @LimeRedBanana that men don't do it when replying to another persons point.

What's yours? that some women do it for validation?

@LimeRedBanana

So *@sofiegiraffe* - you’re admitting that a). men don’t do it, and b). women do it for validation.

I'm saying simply: it's easy to understand why we see differences between the sexes on in terms of online behaviour. It's a reflection of the differences we see offline between the sexes.

[quote rottd]**@sofiegiraffe* my point was that I was agreeing with @LimeRedBanana* that men don't do it when replying to another persons point.

What's yours? that some women do it for validation?
[/quote]

See previous response.

I post big events, pics of DCs, holidays etc. I live in a country where I have no family or close friends, and like to stay connected with my family and friends/old school and uni friends, ex-colleagues etc. Anyone who is not interested can just unfriend or unfilled, simple.

*unfollow sorry

I think most women are aware there are different societal expectations on women and men, I certainly am. However that doesn't mean I think women should only post - charity fundraising pictures acceptable
- occasional holiday snap acceptable (no alcohol and no children)

instead of duck selfies, which were the posts I was responded to.

How are people defining social validation, out of interest? A need for interaction with others? A need to be liked? A need to be seen and heard?

Do we not all have these needs daily, offline? Otherwise we'd all be happy to stay in our homes, no contact with others, and never want our voices to be heard?

What's the difference online? Why is online validation viewed so negatively (assuming we are defining it in the above terms), whereas in person / offline validation is absolutely fine?

Just a few points to mull over .....

Hopefully these people stop when their kids are older.
My children are clear that I don't have permission to share their photos, and I respect that. The dog is most likely to get on Facebook.

Im pretty free and easy with the unfollow and delete button if i dont enjoy someones content.

There nothing to mull over, in real life people who brag or show off tend to put people off or at least in my lived experience.

If you want to post a duck selfie, fair enough. If I dislike duck selfies that's my prerogative. It's not that deep.

@rottd

There nothing to mull over, in real life people who brag or show off tend to put people off or at least in my lived experience.

If you want to post a duck selfie, fair enough. If I dislike duck selfies that's my prerogative. It's not that deep.

You used the phrase validation. I'm interested in how you define that. Genuinely.

@bigbeautybummum

As has been said, I think it's just like a kind of blog/diary/virtual scrapbook. But some people post a LOT. Especially of their kids. One woman I know has a daughter who had a baby in February 2019. I have her and her daughter on FB, and between them they post probably 60-70 photos a WEEK of this child. She is a cute child, but to me, all the photos are the same. It's just the same child. 70 times a week.

I do like them, and get on with them, but it's got a bit irksome, so I have 'unfollowed' them both, because I am bored with seeing pics of this same child popping up on my timeline everytime I log on.

I do get sick of people on facebook saying stuff like 'you find out who your friends are don't you?' Someone says 'what's up hun?' She says 'can't say on here.'

Or the 'I have tagged all the feisty and independent women who are so much FUN! Don't be offended if I haven't tagged you.' (I won't. don't care.)

Also when people post a 'meaningful' and 'touching' post, and say 'I know who will share this and who won't.'

And don't even get me STARTED on the MLM posts.

Me personally, I look at facebook 2 or 3 times a week, but post maybe just 3 times a month. It's good for contact with people I don't see often, but I find it a bit boring now tbh. It's a bit outdated and old fashioned now, and I am kind of 'over it.'

I think it is so they can recall what they had for dinner last week - an aide-memoire.

@sofiegiraffe

How are people defining social validation, out of interest? A need for interaction with others? A need to be liked? A need to be seen and heard?

Do we not all have these needs daily, offline? Otherwise we'd all be happy to stay in our homes, no contact with others, and never want our voices to be heard?

What's the difference online? Why is online validation viewed so negatively (assuming we are defining it in the above terms), whereas in person / offline validation is absolutely fine?

Just a few points to mull over .....

How did people get their social needs met before social media?

I do my reaching out, connecting, chatting, etc, non-publicly. Seems a radical notion these days.

@sofiegiraffe

I remember saying that some people post for validation, to show off or because they are lonely but very few admit that's what drives them. I don't have an issue with what drives people to do it & agree you can use your sm how you like.
I just don't understand why saying that's why some people use it is so offensive & if some people find it offensive don't read the threads.

Fb is for people who like talking about themselves.

End of.

Clearly anyone who posts on social media does it for validation.

Otherwise they would just do it, and not feel the need to publicise it.

@LimeRedBanana

So *@sofiegiraffe* - you’re admitting that a). men don’t do it, and b). women do it for validation.

But men do post for validation. They may not post "duck-faced selfies", because beauty is not the value that straight men are typically prized most highly for. But they do post things which are intended to signal their status in various ways. The way they do that will vary according to their interests/age/demographics etc, but they undeniably do post for validation.

But women have historically been prized by society for a much narrower set of values (including beauty, their value as mothers and other notions attached to the idea of "femininity"). You may think tacky seeing women post too many selfies but that's because the options open to women and the things they have been valued for are generally much narrower.

So yeah I can see that it gets a bit old when people endlessly pump out pictures of themselves with filters on etc. But its a direct result of the sorts of social pressure women have been put under by our society.

I don't post daily but fairly often I guess.
Less likely to post if I'm having a hard time though.

Partly it's to have a 'diary' almost - I like reading my 'memories' from previous years. It takes me back to a happy memory for a minute or so in the morning.

And I always post a handful of photos at the end of each day on holiday in an album as back up, just incase. I warn people beforehand and tell them to scroll on by or unfollow me for a bit if it will bother them. I post them straight to the album rather than as a post but obviously they still show on people's feeds - I don't think I can stop that.

I only have people I know on my Facebook. They are free to unfollow or de friend me on there if they are bothered. That's their choice.

As I only have people I know on my Facebook I also enjoy seeing what they are up to and enjoy seeing a selection of their holiday pics. If there is something I am not interested in I keep scrolling. If someone is posting too much of stuff I don't want to see I unfollow them so their posts don't show on my feed.

And so more power to the women who recognise that, see it for what it is, and don’t do it…

@rottd

It's not offensive to say people use SM to seek validation. Because the need for validation is something we all possess as humans. We are innately social beings who are motivated towards connectedness and belonging. For some people this is more easily achieved online than in person for whatever reasons.

When people start to (wrongly IMO) define validation as "attention seeking" or "showing off", that's where it becomes potentially offensive i think. (Not that I am offending personally but I can see why a person might be, if they are motivated by the former and are simply wanting to connect socially as opposed to "brag" or "show off").

That said. Of course some people will want to "show off" and "brag", and those people will usually behave similarly in real life interactions.

But often on these threads the very normal and understandable need for social validation gets conflated with the unpleasant character trait of "bragging". They are very different IMO.

I judge people that are never off fb, that need constant attention/validation about how great their life/relationship/family/dinner out is.
I see them are opposite to what they are trying to convey. And a bit sad and pathetic.

The people using fb to keep in touch with a handful of friends and relatives far and wide are probably in the minority.

Oh and I don't post (or take!) selfies and don't use filters. I avoid pretty much all photographs of myself so definitely don't have those on my Facebook! I have never once done a photo pout.

I mostly post about hobbies, events, stuff the kids are doing. I live miles away from my family and its an easy way for us to see what we're all doing without having to find time to call as we're all so busy.
People probably think I post too much but, meh, they can unfollow me. I don't buy that people who post a lot have not life - I'm really busy with multiple activities. My posting has connected me to other people who like those activities and given me more opportunities.