‘We didn’t bring you up to have a cleaner’

[Itsthendoftheworldasweknowit]

What does this mean?

I have two amazing cleaning ladies who come for 4 hours every fortnight. They do what I call ‘The big clean’ the whole house, dusting, bathroom, windows, kitchen, hoover, mop, oven, fridge etc. In between this time I do the loos, kitchen everyday and hoover & mop a couple of times (stone tile floors)
I HATE cleaning, I have a toddler and work part time, I cook lots and don’t mind it, but cleaning isn’t my thing.
I’d rather pay money for cleaners and forgo a new outfit or a meal out, that’s how much I dislike it 🤣it’s impossible to do it with Dd around, plus I’d rather spend time with her than breaking my back cleaning.
Today, my mum said ‘We didn’t bring you up to have a cleaner’ she then began to list how she’d do the bathrooms one day, the downstairs the next etc etc..fine, but I don’t want to spend every day cleaning. She also said how she had 3 kids, not 1 🙄
I said how I’d rather spend some money on cleaners so we can enjoy our weekends in the sun (live abroad) and relax, rather than buying myself loads of new clothes or getting my eyebrows done etc (things she and my sister spend a fair amount on)
AIBU to have cleaners?!

It really isn’t any of her business. It makes me glad my mum applauded when I got a cleaner.

I am a bit aghast at four hours though - I can get through our four bed house in half that time and I’m not particularly fast.

Haha

I'd love a cleaner.

@TracyLords For years she didn’t, but then she went part time when we were all in school later on.

I’m not a feminist other than believing in equality for all and I struggle to understand how those who are don’t mind employing another woman to do their cleaning. Surely who want more for your sisters than them cleaning up mess?

God YANBU. In fact this has inspired me to investigate cleaners.

Yanbu! You're providing a job for 2 people! I'd love a cleaner and fully intend to have one when we eventually buy a house! Can't justify it in this rental as the house itself should be torn down in my opinion! No amount of cleaning will make it look good!

"I didn't bring you up to have a cleaner" ROFL

Your Mum wins the internet today

YANBU on the whole, as it's up to you how you spend your money and run your household and it's nobody else's business. However, some people I know who are working class and very houseproud, would be too embarrassed to have a cleaner and not do everything themselves. Could this be the case with your mum?

She's envious. You should have heard my mother when I got an answering machine.

@Helendee

I’m not a feminist other than believing in equality for all and I struggle to understand how those who are don’t mind employing another woman to do their cleaning. Surely who want more for your sisters than them cleaning up mess?

This is a really weird take. Do you think cleaners can't be proud of their jobs and are to be pitied in some way? How patronising.

@Helendee

The cleaners I know:
Have their own business
Earn well above national living wage
Can pick and choose their clients
Can pick and choose their hours (work round childcare etc)

Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

@Helendee

I’m not a feminist other than believing in equality for all and I struggle to understand how those who are don’t mind employing another woman to do their cleaning. Surely who want more for your sisters than them cleaning up mess?

two things.....some people LIKE cleaning some cleaners are men

should people not do ironing/cook/be carers/do people's hair and nails/groom dogs......because YOU want more for your sisters?

It isn’t patronising to pay someone to clean for you. Otherwise how can you possibly ever eat out? Don’t you ‘want better for your sisters’ than washing your dishes and cooking your food?

@SweatyBetty20 I am proud of my house and possessions and would like to keep it clean-therefore I have a cleaner 😆they’re much better than me. Tbf my house is tidy as I can’t stand a mess, so they don’t have to tidy at all, just clean basically. I spend most days tidying up after toddler.

@helendee I know someone who works as a cleaner because she finds it relaxing and convenient. Maybe YOU need to rethink YOUR attitudes towards the work that other people do and how you value it.

There's this weird idea also that cleaning is an inherently awful job. I've done it and it really isn't, so long as you pay a proper wage and treat your cleaners with respect.

There are many jobs with comparable pay that are far worse - I'd sooner clean than do cold-calling or be treated like a robot by some Amazon style outfit.

Cleanings boring, I’d rather pay if I could afford it.

You don’t have to tell your mum things though, if you think she’ll disapprove.

80 dollars a month is great. Don't know which dollars you mean, but I can't think of any stronger than GBP so must be less than a tenner an hour?

I have a lady who comes 3 hours a week, she gets round most of our (admittedly large) house. It's £15 an hour and well worth it. As you say it makes me happier than a meal out would!

@Helendee What?

They have a thriving and very successful business, make their own hours, answer only to themselves, put great effort into the job and earn around the same per hour as most professional people I know here. If I didn’t mind cleaning, I’d do it!

My DM is funny about cleaners too, she never had a cleaner - but I walked myself to and from school from the age of 6 and at the weekend we went out on our own on bikes, we rarely got taken to activities or even supervised when playing, so my mum had a lot less to do than I have (and she didn't work).

@FangsForTheMemory 🤣🤣🤣

I feel as though she sees it as sort of lazy

Who cares. My mum thought I was lazy for doing my weekly shop online. Apparently she coped going round a supermarket with kids so I should have had to. I still do it online and our kids are teens. I also got lectures if we had a takeaway of went out for a meal as apparently she used to be up at 6am peeling vegetables for dinner every day so I should have been too. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t see her anymore...we have a cleaner now...I dread to think what she’d have to say about that. She seemed to want me to have a harder lifer than necessary.

Just ignore.

@FangsForTheMemory That was at the answer phone

@FangsForTheMemory

I worked as a cleaner for four years to put food on the table for my four when I was a single parent.
It always amused me that the middle class women I worked for all professed solidarity with all other women and yet tried to haggle me down to a pittance for pay.

YANBU I hate cleaning, I pay a cleaner once a fortnight

Your money, your life