Could you be in a relationship with an anti-vaxxer?

[Anon778833]

Or someone who thinks Covid doesn't exist?

YANBU = no

YABU = yes

Yes, I’m not going to Chuck away a few happy decades over a vaccine choice. With that view there would always be one problem or another, nobody will ever conform to every one of your views.
If they couldn’t respect my choice though being different or persistently hassled me to act as they did then I’d have an issue.

No

Hell no. Not my sort of person

Nope

[quote DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo]@godmum56

Have you had one two many sherries, love?[/quote]
nowhere NEAR enough

I think also there are shades of grey here, it’s not as simple as anti-vax/ takes any vax.

For example two of my closest friends, I’m not sure the anti-covid-vax one is simply stupid in comparison

Friend one- otherwise has all vaccines. Response to covid in the news was to lose weight/ get fit. She’s overhauled her diet, got herself back into a healthy weight range. Eats better, looks better and exercises. It shook her up that she was making herself vulnerable. She’s nervous about this jab (tbh I haven’t asked why, it’s not a topic I find fun)

Friend two- up in arms about friend one, had the vaccine. Has pretty much eaten and sat her way through since March 2020. Gained more weight than I’d have though possible. Recently on a short walk I saw she was breathless, has lost fitness to the point her balance is also impaired. Has gone from a bit overweight to a weight that impacts on her daily life. Not just covid but I’d have thought she’s looking at a range of problems, including her drinking habits, from joint pain, breathing problems to being generally at risk.

Now the friend I relate to more is friend one, who’s taken a positive action in response to the pandemic fear. I understand friend two has struggled with fear and anxiety, but I also don’t feel what she has done in response is wise (it is extreme, I know her well enough to see the huge change in dietary and drinking habits combined with going sedentary).

Binary choice I’m nearer to friend one, she’s not stupid. It’s not simple. She doesn’t go on about it like a nutter, I don’t know her reasons in fact, and probably most her friends think she took if if they aren’t asking…

@OnlyTheLangOfTheTitberg

Yes, if they had concerns about the long term effects of the vaccine and wanted to wait for a greater evidence base.

No if they were a flat-out Covid denier/5G conspiracy theorist.

This.

I'm more concerned about the dumbasses who don't get mmr because they believe the autism bullshit, or don't get any vaccines for their kids because they think they know better. I couldn't even be friends with those people, let alone date them.

I tried my best recently to find some middle ground/reason as it was a very gorgeous bloke who was into me (rare- it's been years) but it wasn't questioning or even possibly scepticism, it was his repeated rantings & the amount if nonsense he'd collected to create his world view, He " knew loads of people who have died of the jab" & that he was a free thinker (moral judgements etc) & those disagreeing were not, etc. I just couldn't find any way on from it. Didn't manage to get any action first either. Petty I know, but I'm gutted. I've lost quite a bit part of my social group because of microchip mentality too & avoid BF as many people are also experiencing too.

No

Because they are all bonkers

@Crunchymum

It really is starting to fuck me off that people are either anti vaxxers or covid deniers and nothing in-between?

Someone who doesn't feel comfortable with a brand new, mass rolled out vaccine for themselves is not the same as someone who is an ardent and vocal anti-vaxxer who has not allowed their children to have any vaccinations?

Someone who poses questions about what has happened over the past 18 months is not a Covid denier.

These labels are reductive and often mostly incorrect.

We need to be very careful of this path we are heading along. I am starting to feel very afraid and it's not Covid that I am scared of.

Yes

What would bother me more would be if my partner was so black and white thinking they couldn’t appreciate other people’s points of view!

But aren't there limits to that? If someone told you in all seriousness that Westminster Abbey was made of guacamole, or that it's compulsory to speak Esperanto in New York, or that it was perfectly safe to stick your fingers in a blender and turn it on, would you appreciate their point of view or would you think they were ignorant and/or a few cans short of a six pack? Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers (not people who are nervous about the possible side effects of the Covid vaccine, but people who have gone the full Naomi Woolf nanopatticles) are in that category of stupid.

Respecting different opinions based on evidence: great, important, foundation of democracy, etc. Respecting the opinions of people who think some random bollocking on about something on FB YouTube is evidence because it confirms their worldview/makes them feel important because they have access to secret knowledge/other reason for latching on to insane conspiracy theory: nope.

Yes, I would, but only if they don't try and pressure me into having the same views.

No

@Bollockstothat

What would bother me more would be if my partner was so black and white thinking they couldn’t appreciate other people’s points of view!

But aren't there limits to that? If someone told you in all seriousness that Westminster Abbey was made of guacamole, or that it's compulsory to speak Esperanto in New York, or that it was perfectly safe to stick your fingers in a blender and turn it on, would you appreciate their point of view or would you think they were ignorant and/or a few cans short of a six pack? Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers (not people who are nervous about the possible side effects of the Covid vaccine, but people who have gone the full Naomi Woolf nanopatticles) are in that category of stupid.

Respecting different opinions based on evidence: great, important, foundation of democracy, etc. Respecting the opinions of people who think some random bollocking on about something on FB YouTube is evidence because it confirms their worldview/makes them feel important because they have access to secret knowledge/other reason for latching on to insane conspiracy theory: nope.

There are some limits in my mind, but this certainly isn’t one of them and I can understand not sharing the same priorities/perspectives.red lines are not universal.

The west minster being made of guacamole could largely be true, depending on your definition, both are made of atoms held together by forces, just some minor differences that you could argue are only really relevant if you want to eat it😁. It only isn’t made of guacamole if you define guacamole in a certain way.Actually there’s a large portion of people who would argue it might not exist at all outside your own mind. If you subscribe to quantum physics multiverse model it indeed doesn’t exist somewhere.

DH is not an anti-vaxxer. He had no problem with DD having her jabs. But he doesn't want the Covid-19 jab because he believes that until it has been properly assessed, he doesn't think it's safe. He isn't a covid denier either, but he thinks the virus was released by the Chinese and is now being used as a way to control us. DH has always been "anti-establishment" and rebellious, his attitude isn't a shock to me.

I am double jabbed. I did it for an easy life, so I could have more freedom than those who choose not to have it. I don't agree with the conspiracy theories. I am bored with wearing a mask on transport proven to be covid free though. I think people should have absolute autonomy over their own bodies. If someone doesn't give their consent for a medical procedure, I am fine with that. So I'm fine with my husband not having the covid jab. It's really up to him.

Having said all that, DH has become a covid bore. So we are having to figure out our future now.

@Crunchymum

My DP isn't vaccinated, his choice.

In fact a fair of my friends aren't either (a few a TTC / breast feeding, another has allergies, a few want to wait and see)

They aren't anti vax per se, they just don't feel comfortable - for their own reasons - with this vaccine and I respect that.

Same here. My DP feels it’s been rushed and wants to wait, he wanted me to but respected that I went ahead

It wouldn't be a deal breaker (depending on the reasons, exH was a conspiracy nut and CBA with someone like that again) but I'd rather they were pro-vax.

@Maddiemademe I am so sorry for your losses and for anyone else who has lost a loved one to Covid.

I am CEV and after spending most of 2021 at home (or in hospital), I would never consider a relationship with an anti-vaxxer. Luckily, due to his job, my DH got the vaccine very quickly and I was one of the first CEV people in my area to get mine. Our teenage DDs have both said that they will have it too, once it's released for under 18's.

No and my sister is getting a divorce in which her husband’s refusal to get a Covid vaccine was the last straw

Nope

@sheusesmagazines

No and my sister is getting a divorce in which her husband’s refusal to get a Covid vaccine was the last straw

Really? Sounds like he's the winner here.

Anti-vaxx, screeching about debunked theories and mind control, no.

Not having the vaccine for reasons like PPs have said, like allergies, pregnancy etc... sure.

To all the people saying no, what about someone you're already in a relationship with, a relationship that predates covid. What if you've been married 15 years and have three children too young to understand what covid even really is? What would people do then? Because this is my situation.

@Horizon44

To all the people saying no, what about someone you're already in a relationship with, a relationship that predates covid. What if you've been married 15 years and have three children too young to understand what covid even really is? What would people do then? Because this is my situation.

I thought about this when I answered. I love my partner dearly. But honestly if he was an anti vaxxer he wouldn't be the man I thought he was. He'd be significantly less intelligent and knowledgeable for a start. I'm not sure how that could happen but if we assume it could...

I know. Well, it can happen as it happened to me. It's just really hard to be so cut and dry when you're living it and faced with breaking up your children's family.