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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend annoyed that I wouldn't split the bill

999 replies

notonyournelleee · 09/08/2021 09:48

6 of us went out for a nice meal for DFriend's birthday.

I was the only one who didn't drink alcohol. Just a few lemonades. At the end one person said 'Should we just split the bill then?' But she didn't say it as a question, more of a leading statement. She then got her phone out and split it 6 ways. Came to just over £40 each!

I said 'Sorry, no. You've all drunk quite a bit and I've had no alcohol at all. Would you mind if I pay separately?'

They said yeah fine... and the atmosphere was a little odd after that. We all went our separate ways after that. It wasn't a particularly expensive place but not cheap. Food very reasonably priced but of course the alcohol stacked up the bill significantly

Ive been messaged my birthday girl this morning to say I was really out of order and should've just split. Everyone was a bit upset.

AIBU to not have split?!

I felt like I was being fair there. She also said she was opening her gifts from me in the evening but I've had no words in a way of thank you Sad

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 10/08/2021 09:19

Does the Daily Mail journalist get paid for this in full or do we all get a split for contributing????

MyrrAgain · 10/08/2021 09:20

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting
@coolgirldancing

Your. Not you're.

And in the second example - you're. Not your.

Please write correctly. Thanks.

nancydroo · 10/08/2021 09:21

@DrManhattan

Does the Daily Mail journalist get paid for this in full or do we all get a split for contributing????
Yep want my cut? Blimey this is a lesson learned...this friend is more likely to know about this now Confused
NorthernWhiteRhino · 10/08/2021 09:22

@BillyWhozz so boring you took the time to read and comment 🤣

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 10/08/2021 09:23

This sums it up well for me. I’d say it would be a 5 way split, including tips, with the birthday girl being treated.
'The text was likely because the birthday girl was embarrassed that was the lasting impression of the OP to her other friends. It would have tainted a mood, regardless of if splitting was strictly speaking fair or not.'

OP didn't opt-out of a five-way split; that wasn't mooted.

What of the OP's lasting impression of these people? A bunch of non-tipping moochers who clearly have a good old bitch, thus prompting the birthday girl to send an unpleasant text with no acknowledgment of the OP's gift?

MauveMagnolia · 10/08/2021 09:23

Quelle surprise its on The daily mail

Never in doubt.

MauveMagnolia · 10/08/2021 09:24

@DrManhattan

Does the Daily Mail journalist get paid for this in full or do we all get a split for contributing????
I placed a £2 bet with my DH from their 2nd post. Do I get a prize?
Blondeshavemorefun · 10/08/2021 09:26

@PoloMintPatty

I can't believe this thread made the DM!
Many threads make the dm 😂
MyrrAgain · 10/08/2021 09:28

Where's the DM link?

orangejumpsuit · 10/08/2021 09:29

This reminds me of the "Five steaks and an eggplant" episode of Friends, when equally sharing the cost of vastly different budgeted meals was clearly, and painfully a massive issue.

notonyournellee · 10/08/2021 09:30

It seems it might not be as simple as I thought then, a lot of opinions on Daily Mail seem to be that because I've gone out as a group, I should just suck it up! Because next time I might be drinking so it's all swings and roundabouts. Obviously there's a lot of nasty trollers on DM but it eeems a lot of comments were genuine, I suppose that sort of topic would attract a lot of normal readers to comment

Thing is though, I haven't really drunk at all for years now. TTC, pregnant and then not sadly, and now I'm pregnant and come so far so not drinking a thing for peace of mind

Stormfin · 10/08/2021 09:31

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

Yeah, no, I don't believe this can be the BG.

It's just too perfect. "Discusting" Grin

leondra · 10/08/2021 09:32

Definitely not in the wrong. Your friends are a bit strange!

AnneFuckingKirrin · 10/08/2021 09:34

@MontysMinions

coolgirldancing is clearly just a troll. The very obvious poor spelling is designed purely to rile the vipers.
I am catching up on this and trying to read it all before it gets deleted but thought exactly this. No one uses the word discusting on here unless it’s a joke.
aSofaNearYou · 10/08/2021 09:35

@notonyournellee

It seems it might not be as simple as I thought then, a lot of opinions on Daily Mail seem to be that because I've gone out as a group, I should just suck it up! Because next time I might be drinking so it's all swings and roundabouts. Obviously there's a lot of nasty trollers on DM but it eeems a lot of comments were genuine, I suppose that sort of topic would attract a lot of normal readers to comment

Thing is though, I haven't really drunk at all for years now. TTC, pregnant and then not sadly, and now I'm pregnant and come so far so not drinking a thing for peace of mind

Tbh I always think the articles they steal from threads on here never accurately represent them. I also often think the commenters on articles like that come across as absolute peak morons. I wouldn't take those opinions to heart if I were you.
MauveMagnolia · 10/08/2021 09:36

Waves at Layota Gayle

Some other stories from Mumsnet by them

Mother-of-two fears how her employer will react if she takes time off work for a third child
Women reveal the small things they would change about their husbands
Woman who is working from home BLASTS her neighbours for playing music in their garden
Vexed Mumsnet users list their (somewhat evil) methods of getting revenge
Mum reveals her husband has hired their neighbour's daughter to babysit while he goes to do sports
Furious woman blasts her neighbours for playing loud music because the weather is good
Woman thinking of ending her relationship after finding out his mother washes his laundry weekly

And many many more

Benjispruce5 · 10/08/2021 09:36

You did NOTHING wrong. You shouldn’t have to say at the beginning. Why should you subsidise other people’s bills? They could see you weren’t drinking.

aalidfeie · 10/08/2021 09:37

You are not being unreasonable. I dont drink and I would not be paying for others alcohol either. Why should you? They are being arseholes about it. My friends would never expect me to pay for their booze and they always make a point of making sure I dont pay for their booze cause that is what supportive friends do.
The fact she felt to text you about it and then didnt say thank you for the gifts just tells me she is a dickhead and you would be better off without them all.

Givemebackmylilo · 10/08/2021 09:38

You've made the daily mail!

aalidfeie · 10/08/2021 09:39

@Benjispruce5

You did NOTHING wrong. You shouldn’t have to say at the beginning. Why should you subsidise other people’s bills? They could see you weren’t drinking.
Exactly. People saying she should have mentioned at the start - why? It makes no difference, you didnt drink booze which makes up a fair whack of the bill, so you shouldnt pay.
Benjispruce5 · 10/08/2021 09:39

Well she’ll see how unreasonable she is for sure!

MauveMagnolia · 10/08/2021 09:39

Woman fears her children will resent her because of money woes
Woman reveals her husband wants to quit his £60,000 a year job
Husband texted his female colleague gushing about having held hands on a night out
Woman blasts husband for sending photo to his ex
Woman admits she's bitter that a friend bought a two-bedroom house with help from parents
Woman is frustrated after her new neighbours wake up her son with the sound of their washing machine
Woman sparks debate over whether wearing make-up is a form of catfishing

She does like to use the word woman a lot- unsure how she knows that so many Mumsnet's posters are female.

MuddyStiletto · 10/08/2021 09:43

I don't care if @coolgirldancing is hairy handed
This is just marvellous Grin

Eaumyword · 10/08/2021 09:45

@notonyournellee

It seems it might not be as simple as I thought then, a lot of opinions on Daily Mail seem to be that because I've gone out as a group, I should just suck it up! Because next time I might be drinking so it's all swings and roundabouts. Obviously there's a lot of nasty trollers on DM but it eeems a lot of comments were genuine, I suppose that sort of topic would attract a lot of normal readers to comment

Thing is though, I haven't really drunk at all for years now. TTC, pregnant and then not sadly, and now I'm pregnant and come so far so not drinking a thing for peace of mind

You're NOT in the wrong in any way. Is there a link between DM readers and CF's perhaps?!GrinGrin