To think she had this baby out of spite?

[Nineteeneightynine]

Name changed because on the off chance the woman in question uses MN i don't want her knowing who i am by my posting history.

I'll call her Sarah.

Sarah was in a relationship with 'John' and the pair had a child. After 6 years together the relationship came to an end - but during the final 2 years of the relationship Sarah had multiple terminations of unplanned pregnancies because she didn't want more children and the pair were growing apart. The split, however, was instigated by her.

They broke up and 18 months later John met and began a relationship with somebody else. They got engaged and conceived a baby.

Sarah then decided she wanted him back after all.

At this point Sarah became even more difficult (think using her existing child as a weapon)

When Johns partner was heavily pregnant Sarah orchestrated a situation whereby she and John would be alone together, think special occasion under the guise of being for their child's benefit. Alcohol was involved.

Sarah made a pass at John, and because John is a selfish idiot and wasn't getting much 'action' at home with his heavily pregnant fiance, he reciprocated and they had a one night stand. John claims Sarah told him she was on the contraceptive implant so they didn't need to use a condom. John didn't question it and was happy to proceed without.

Soon after, very soon indeed, almost as if she was waiting to test, Sarah tells John she's pregnant and wants him to get back together with her "for their family" and try again.

John doesn't want to re-enter the relationship and wants to stay with his then current partner, who was expected to give birth any day.

Sarah decides that actually 'now' (then) is the perfect time to bring another child into the world and she would be having the baby regardless. Issues ultimatums. Briefly stops contact between John and his existing child when John says he doesn't want another.

Bare in mind that before the relationship ended, Sarah was adamant she didn't want any more children and exercised her right to terminate multiple pregnancies because the time wasn't right and the relationship was failing. It was only after seeing John settling down with somebody else she changed her mind.

Johns partner found out and was understandably crushed, now years later has to co-parent and see that (yes totally innocent) child on a regular basis.

WIBU to believe that Sarah, with all of the above taken into consideration, had this child out of spite?

Who are you in this scenario??
Why did John keep getting her pregnant?
Why are you blaming sarah for John cheating on his pregnant partner and not using contraception?
Could you be a bit more misogynist in your analysis please???

I don't think it matters why she had the child. Her and John sound like they deserve each other

I said yabu, even though your right that Sarah behaved badly. But yabu for absolving John so much- he’s the more guilty party as he’s the one who was in a relationship with the new partner.

Sounds like "John" should have kept it in his pants tbh.

And yes, why didn’t John take responsibility forcontraception at the very least after the first termination?

Goodness, I wonder which person you are.

Take it up with John. He certainly knows how babies are made, given his history.

YANBU Sarah sounds like a selfish idiot, has she never heard of contraception? Abortion should not be used as birth control,but John is even worse. He knew what she was like, yet still cheated on his pregnant partner. What a vile pair.

John is a bastard of the highest order, no doubt about that.

He is totally responsible for the infidelity and not taking precautions on his side to avoid a pregnancy.

However, he was deliberately mislead into believing that there was no chance of a baby being conceived because she was on the implant.

Are you saying John's partner stayed with him after this?

He's the one to blame here.

She had terminations when she felt the timing wasn't right for another child, and a child when she felt the timing was right.

Her reasons for that are her own, I guess.

There wouldn't have been this scenario if John had a) kept it in his trousers or b) put a condom on it.

Whatever Sarah did or didn’t do, John needs to own his actions. He shagged Sarah whilst his then partner was pregnant. Chose not to wear a condom. That’s all on him. Play with fire, get burnt. He had tonnes of evidence that Sarah was fire and though he would shag her anyway

They are all to blame, more so John because he cheated on his partner.. he’s a real catch.

John’s new partner doesn’t have to co parent the child. She doesn’t have to be with him.

All lies with John really

They both sound awful to be honest. How men can think it’s acceptable to be impregnating women willy nilly with no responsibility is beyond me. I think John is the worst here.

Neither Sarah nor John come out of this well at all.

But yes John and Sarah sound like they deserve each other.

She wouldn’t have a ‘weapon’ to use if John didn’t keep it in his pants.

John is a fuckwhit

However, he was deliberately mislead into believing that there was no chance of a baby being conceived because she was on the implant.

What, he didn't think that maybe after all those other multiple pregnancies that there might be an issue?

Presumably John's partner (whoever she is - who could possibly guess?) chooses to co-parent the innocent child, rather than has to, because she chooses to stay with John instead of chucking him out on the grounds that he is a cheating dickhead.

Why are you putting all the blame on Sarah?! John could have taken more responsibility for contraception during their initial relationship, is the one who cheated on their pregnant partner and also seemed to ignore the fact that condoms prevent more than just pregnancy.

How do you know about the terminations? Who are you in the scenario, And yes, as a pp said, you might want a little more misogyny in your analysis.

John is a shit.

Are you John’s current partner?

The blame here lies solely with John.

I feel sorry for the new partner. She should dump John.

John is a prick and idiot. He deserves all he gets.

I’m sure he knows what a condom is and how to use one.

We can't know but it looks like it.

Why do you need confirmation?

I wouldn't say 'out of spite'. It sounds more like Sarah thought having a baby would be a way to get John back.

Ignoring the pregnancy issue, what on Earth makes John believe he is immune to STDs? Horribly risky behaviour.