To think gynaecologist was a bit harsh ? ***title edited to add a trigger warning for content that might affect those with eating disorders***

[Boysandme269]

So basically I had my ds2 6 months ago and I'm EBF however my period returned 4 weeks ago and it was extremely heavy and then 2 weeks later I got another one

Having health anixtety this alarmed me
I've always had 28 day periods even after DS1 and never heavy so I wasn't expecting such issues nor for them to return so soon

My gp wasn't interested and said as I had a clear smear a month ago it would just be hormones settling down
However due to the health anixety I decided to see a gynaecologist privately

I explained the situation to gynaecologist and at first she was going down the I'm sure it's breastfeeding causing the issue
However I happened to say I've noticed this time I'm heavier than what I was with DS1 could this of contributed?

Now when I say I'm heavier I've always being slim and now I'm not my bmi is 25 so I think pushing overweight but I'm not huge

She glanced at me and looked to my stomach and said well yes you are holding Weight in your middle
She said it is probably making you realise more hormones etc
She went on to say I mean you could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine

By this point I was mortified and she started talking about problems from girls who hold weight around their middles

At this point I interjected and said I don't carry weight around my middle. I hold my weight around my hips and thighs, I've just not shifted all the baby weight yet

So she said well you must have developed insulin resistance because you have tummy fat now

Is it not normal to have a bit of excess fat 6 months after a c section?

I ended up having to show a picture of my pre pregnancy body to prove I do infact usually have a flat toned stomach

She asked if I had GD etc which I didn't
And then she did a scan

Cervix healthy .. womb healthy left ovary perfect but she said right ovary had a couple of follicles so it was trying to ovulate but when on to say my weight meant it polycystic

She also said I see you have a couple of hairs on your stomach so you probably have polycycstic ovary syndrome and you will be insulin resistant and told me to change my diet or I'd be diabetic type 2

Now prior to DS2 my bmi has always been around 21/22 .. I did get a couple of hairs on my tummy when pregnant but I am not hairy
I lose weight fairly easy.. I started gym this week and have lost almost half a stone so I feel il lose last baby weight fine

I have always had regular 28 day periods and conceived both my children on first month without contraception
I did not have GD and as part of a work up by my Gp in relation to another health condition
I categorically know I'm not pre diabetic or insulin resistance my sugars are fine ( needed to know for steroids I have to take)

I asked again at end of appointment if I have PCOS and she said not as such but I have problem induced by my weight it should resolve

I thought pcos was life long ? Also I've had scans on ovaries before and I've never had a few follicles

Do you think I'm being ridiculous to be upset by this manner ?
I basically feel like i look like a fat disgusting beast now
Does it should like I have Pcos ?
Also the smallest part of my body is my waist the fat on my tummy is like a little bit over my c section scar does this sound like I have a problem with my middle ?

Quite devastated with how repulsive this person felt I looked , thought I was doing OK for having had little one 6 months ago

This is why I try to only see male doctors for gyne problems. I suffer vaginismus and smear tests are next to impossible. Nothing bigger than my little finger will go in without a fight and its really painful. I always find that female gynecologists are the ones who will try to force the speculum open and be dismissive of any pain and one did try to blame it on my weight. Even though it can be done more easily under GA when my muscles relax but nah must be cos I'm fat.

The 2 men I've seen have been a lot more gentle and do stop when they see I'm in pain and just refer me to have it done under general.

Wow she was rude. Definitely complain.

Loads of women have a few hairs on their stomach (me too, nothing wrong with my health, just part of the package if you’re dark haired naturally unfortunately).

To me it sounds like she was looking for reasons to justify and prove her idea that you’re overweight and that this is causing you issues. I would go for a second opinion with a more professional doctor and complain about this woman as she shouldn’t work with women esspecially not in such personal vulnerable field as gynaecology and have such an awful bed side manner.

@Whinginadeville

Honesty I think you need some counselling you had no need to see a private gyno you're looking for problems, that plus a history of Ed and thinking overweight is a BMI of 25.

BMI over 25 is considered overweight.

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/lifestyle/what-is-the-body-mass-index-bmi/

Also, seeing a GP or a specialist for unusual bleeding is advised and up to the individual and their needs.

You mention steroids, are they something you now have to take regularly as your problems could be linked to that
Your waist should be under 31.5 inches, possibly but less for some ethnicities.

She didn’t sound particularly sensitive but given your ED past, health anxiety and your hyperbolic posts, it does appear to show you are very sensitive with regards to your weight.

You just had a baby OP, chill and if you can’t maybe it’s time you talk to someone. I would hate for you to slip back to your ED past.

I remember going to the gym and speaking to one of the trainers about wanting to shift the ‘baby weight’ and when he asked how old DD was and I said she was ten. Which led to a rant about mother’s being too hard on themselves; pregnancy and birth are incredibly taxing on the body and ten months is nothing. To which I replied years, DD was ten years. He went red and I snorted with laughter.

OP, I am mortified the longer this thread goes on. It’s clear you are suffering terribly emotionally and with you also admitting you suffer with anorexia, some posters clearly haven’t read the entire thread before commenting things they wouldn’t DREAM about daying in real life. This is wholly unhelpful to you. Do report this woman if that will give you closure. Please don’t spend more time reading this thread though… you need to shake it off and move on now. I’m truly worried about your mental as well as physical health. It’s so easy to go into a dark place. I’d speak to your husband/other half and explain something happened that triggered your emotions. He should be aware so he can help you move past this.

@BungleandGeorge hopefully not forever in regards to the steroids but yes I may have to take them when required now

I have also had a steroid injection in my foot 2 weeks before the funny period
Usually 0.5ml but consultant gave me more

My waist is 28.5 inches at the moment ...

@Branleuse

Some people are really gaslighting the OP

They are and I have no idea why. Sometimes I wonder wtf is wrong with some posters. The doctor should have been more tactful, she was out of line. Not sure why some posters are excusing that.

@DamnUserName21 my bmi was 25 on the dot at the appointment

Probably 24 something now so I'd hardly say it's likely to be causing a massive problem

Yabu she was being straight to the point. Would you rather she lied.

It’s not unusual to hold onto weight whilst Bf and will probably go when you stop.

@CheeseCrackersAndChutney well yes if there lifestyle is unhealthy

But as someone who does not drink
Was very active prior to pregnancy and getting back to being very active now despite having issues that make it very painful
Then I don't think my lifestyle is unhealthy

Yes I vomited a million times during pregnancy and the only thing that helped was too many carbs but that's not my usual

And I've being on steroids for several weeks which isn't great either but I don't think I've got a unhealthy lifestyle

@DeflatedGinDrinker

Ah what's your bmi ? I hope its 20 and I hope you don't drink Gin otherwise you may be well become insulin resistant and develop type two diabetes?

Is my straight to the point ok ?

My bmi is 25 medically speaking I'm nowhere near obese and waist size is 28.5 inches normal and healthy so I think I've come to my own conclusion she was being a horror just as your post is

Inappropriate comments. But many doctors are not very sensitive.

A friend of mine had keyhole surgery to see if she had ovarian failure in her 30s, and the male gynae plonked down afterwards and said: "You've got no eggs! Absolutely none".

Very upsetting way of being told you can never have children.

@DeflatedGinDrinker

Yabu she was being straight to the point. Would you rather she lied.

Op said her BMI is 24 now. 25 is only just overweight, I wouldn't flag it up as a massive problem, especially if she is exercising etc. She only had a baby six months ago.

OP, ignore the mean comments, they wouldn't say this to someone in real life, else they'd have no friends left and they shouldn't say it on here. If this is how women support other women, we are screwed.

@Vallmo47

Some of the comments have been horrendous but I think strangely it's made me realise the doctor wasn't very nice and just as the comments are not

I will speak to DH about the appointment once kids are sleeping and how it's made me feel and hopefully put it to bed ...

I’m really sad to see the horrible posts on this thread. Aren’t we meant to be supportive? Women supporting other women?

@WorraLiberty I’m really shocked particularly, by your posts on this thread. From what I have seen of your many replies- help and reasonable advice over the years on here- you are usually so very reasonable and kind. Perhaps blunt at times only to be helpful- but never this cruel.

Example

@Hopdathelf
Why do you keep drip feeding? You’ve dropped in you ED status and now you’re saying she sniggered. Any more to add?
This is what I'd like to know.

I read the OP and I was going to say, "Are you sure she said" I mean you could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine?? Or is that just how you interpreted it.

But with the rest of the OP's dramatic hyperbole and drip-feeding, I think it's probably how she heard it in her head.

And this-

And if she did actually snigger, then of course you should complain about that too.

And others you have posted. “In her head” “are you sure” “if she did actually snigger” “dramatic hyperbole and drip feeding”

Etc. It’s ever so cruel especially given ops mental health around anxiety and medical health. Because like someone else said; this is really gaslighting the op. Making her doubt her own mind.

There are other posts too, more cruel than Worra. But I’m not repeating them. I’m not picking on you either I’m just surprised. Are you having a bad day or something? Perhaps step away from mumsnet. Or at least not be cruel to a clearly vulnerable woman.

That goes for all similar posts. It’s disgusting. Op is clearly vulnerable. What is wrong with you women who post such goady and dismissive comments? Does it matter why she went to the doctor? It was her choice to settle her own worries, so she didn’t have to deal with anxiety over what was to her excessive and unusual bleeding. She was scared and anxious; she went to the doctor. Whilst having a young child isn’t it better she not be unnecessarily anxious given her health anxiety? That part is irrelevant and she didn’t ask for anyone’s advice about that. She asked for advice about the gynaecologist attitude and words. So stop judging her for her reasons to visit the doctor. It was part of the context not actually your business to judge.

There are certain ways to say things even if you doubt the person. For example this post;

@Cazzovuoi
YABU doctors need to be able to point out weight related risks. I had PCOS and reversed it using Keto diet. Weight around the middle is a risk factor for loads of diseases.

Just because you were healthy before doesn’t mean anything. Health declines slowly with weight gain. She’s helping you by pointing out the risks when you’re still relatively healthy.

Listen to her and prioritise eating low carb to get ahead as of any insulin resistance issues. You literally have nothing to lose and all the health to gain by listening to her.

This is a more kind way to advise the op; keeping in mind her health issues and health anxiety, the fact that she had an eating disorder therefore has disordered thinking around weight and appearance (and therefore others judgement of her appearance) and is post baby so maybe a bit over sensitive. Rather than dismiss her completely and outright accuse her of lying and drip feeding and all kinds of things.

It’s been really sad to read this thread. How cruel people have been.

[quote Boysandme269]@DamnUserName21 my bmi was 25 on the dot at the appointment

Probably 24 something now so I'd hardly say it's likely to be causing a massive problem[/quote]
@Boysandme269
Never thought it was causing you any problems! IMO, your gynecologist focused on this too much.
I just responding to another poster who said a BMI over 25 wasn't overweight when, in fact, it does fall into the overweight category.

@TatianaBis ah that is beyond awful your poor friend

My friends sister was told she couldn't have children and was told oh if you had tried earlier ( I thought that was just so unhelpful) as if we are all in the poistion earlier to have children..

Thank you @LadyInParis. I'm hoping all these mean posters have bodies like a supermodel but I'm doubting that, as how many of us do? Many women struggle with weight loss after having a baby and OP is doing better than many.

[quote Boysandme269]@Cazzovuoi
I understand that but I literally have a small waist, it's just a bit of quite soft fat over my section scar ( actually getting worried it's not going to go no matter how skinny I become)

Is this really Weight around your middle ?

My middle is the smallest part of me, if she had commented on the size of my bum I would not have been surprised[/quote]
Hmmm....she's supposed to be the medical health professional, but I thought weight around the middle meant weight that's around the stomach, not the lower belly fat that many, if not most women have. Women who are apple shaped, who carry more fat closer to the heart area are more at risk of developing certain illnesses (I think).

OP, you said a few times that you have a very small waist but you've also said that you lost half a stone last week and will lose another half stone this week "more than likely'" .

A stone in two weeks ? This is more worrying than anything the gynaecologist said to you. You really shouldn't be aiming to lose this much weight.

Hey OP. I have a baby older than you. I am a size 6, don’t drink etc. But since having him I am carrying extra weight around my middle. Am I overweight? No, but I know that carrying extra weight around my middle is unhealthy and can affect me so I do need to do something about it (I will be looking at my sugar in take).

Her delivery wasn’t brilliant no, but if your periods have been affected by the extra weight gain in pregnancy, isn’t it better she tell you that? Yes she should have been kinder, but what difference does it make if you are going to lose the extra weight anyway? Don’t take it to heart, but also don’t panic. They say it’s takes two years for your body to get back to normal, and also 9 months in, 9 months out and all that. She sounds rude and unprofessional, but don’t take her comments to heart. I also struggled with weight issues when I was younger so do appreciate where you’re coming from, but focus on yourself and your baby right now.

Oh yes, listen to her and don’t eat for six months 🙄 what unprofessional and dangerous advice!
YANBU OP! Of course you will carry weight, it’s still early days.
Very surprised at some of the comments on here, very cruel and unnecessary. But people can’t seem to help themselves lately.