To think gynaecologist was a bit harsh ? ***title edited to add a trigger warning for content that might affect those with eating disorders***

[Boysandme269]

So basically I had my ds2 6 months ago and I'm EBF however my period returned 4 weeks ago and it was extremely heavy and then 2 weeks later I got another one

Having health anixtety this alarmed me
I've always had 28 day periods even after DS1 and never heavy so I wasn't expecting such issues nor for them to return so soon

My gp wasn't interested and said as I had a clear smear a month ago it would just be hormones settling down
However due to the health anixety I decided to see a gynaecologist privately

I explained the situation to gynaecologist and at first she was going down the I'm sure it's breastfeeding causing the issue
However I happened to say I've noticed this time I'm heavier than what I was with DS1 could this of contributed?

Now when I say I'm heavier I've always being slim and now I'm not my bmi is 25 so I think pushing overweight but I'm not huge

She glanced at me and looked to my stomach and said well yes you are holding Weight in your middle
She said it is probably making you realise more hormones etc
She went on to say I mean you could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine

By this point I was mortified and she started talking about problems from girls who hold weight around their middles

At this point I interjected and said I don't carry weight around my middle. I hold my weight around my hips and thighs, I've just not shifted all the baby weight yet

So she said well you must have developed insulin resistance because you have tummy fat now

Is it not normal to have a bit of excess fat 6 months after a c section?

I ended up having to show a picture of my pre pregnancy body to prove I do infact usually have a flat toned stomach

She asked if I had GD etc which I didn't
And then she did a scan

Cervix healthy .. womb healthy left ovary perfect but she said right ovary had a couple of follicles so it was trying to ovulate but when on to say my weight meant it polycystic

She also said I see you have a couple of hairs on your stomach so you probably have polycycstic ovary syndrome and you will be insulin resistant and told me to change my diet or I'd be diabetic type 2

Now prior to DS2 my bmi has always been around 21/22 .. I did get a couple of hairs on my tummy when pregnant but I am not hairy
I lose weight fairly easy.. I started gym this week and have lost almost half a stone so I feel il lose last baby weight fine

I have always had regular 28 day periods and conceived both my children on first month without contraception
I did not have GD and as part of a work up by my Gp in relation to another health condition
I categorically know I'm not pre diabetic or insulin resistance my sugars are fine ( needed to know for steroids I have to take)

I asked again at end of appointment if I have PCOS and she said not as such but I have problem induced by my weight it should resolve

I thought pcos was life long ? Also I've had scans on ovaries before and I've never had a few follicles

Do you think I'm being ridiculous to be upset by this manner ?
I basically feel like i look like a fat disgusting beast now
Does it should like I have Pcos ?
Also the smallest part of my body is my waist the fat on my tummy is like a little bit over my c section scar does this sound like I have a problem with my middle ?

Quite devastated with how repulsive this person felt I looked , thought I was doing OK for having had little one 6 months ago

@sergeilavrov

Thank you, have now spoken to Dh who was furious with her comments

And according to him he thinks I'm good at dealing with medical professionals and holding my own so for me to have being so embarssed I didn't even want to tell him, his conclusion is it must of been pretty awful

Going to find a way of ensuring I put some feedback forward

I would of been fine with her saying current weight could be contributing to hormones going array but her comments served no purpose

@FatJan I imagine rapid weight loss was just the shock of re starting healthier eating and gym after being sedentary all these months

After speaking to DH I've no plans to take extreme measures to lose weight

I just wanted to say as a last comment on this post

I've spoken to Dh about what she said and he was furious about the 6 months without food comments and hes a very rational guy and would be the first to tell me if I was over reacting

I wish I had just told him instead of this thread but that is how embarssed the appointment made me feel which says enough about the conduct of the consultant

I've been accused of being manipulative and a liar which is quite astounding, because I failed to give every detail all at once and apparently having a ED makes me prone to such traits
Well at least it doesn't make me prone to nasty judgements about people that's all I can say on that

Also for anyone reading this with a bmi of 24/25 you are fine, according to some ladies on this post it's quite a problem, it isn't specially not after a baby 6 months ago

Lastly a few posters said I must think larger people or people with Pcos are disgusting , not at all and if anyone was offended by my post I'm so sorry I'd never want to hurt anyone in relation to appearance/ medical condition or anything
I have issues with my own body image and how I see myself not anyone else
My dh by his own admission is a bit overweight and I couldn't think of a more attractive man haha

Thanks again to anyone who was kind
Nothing wrong with all shapes and size that gynaecologist just made me feel the way she did by her comments

Only read your posts op and can see you gave realised the right thing to do was talk to your trusted DH rather than listen to posts on here where people have their own agendas/hang ups and ill informed views on medicine and health.

I'm a health professional and have been involved with training doctors. The way she dealt with you is wrong and as you have said could be damaging to people who are vulnerable.

Please consider writing either a complaint about her directly or a comment through PALS, it will perhaps restore your confidence but will hopefully make a difference to future patients if she is made aware of how she interacts with people.

I did the same in a similar situation, luckily my dh was with me although not in consultation room. I'd held my own with her rudeness for bit but caught his eye through window to waiting room and called him in and broke down then trying to explain she said. The nurse took us away and got the sister who was lovely and supported us to say something if we wanted. She wasn't at all surprised by the situation and I actually got the impression she needed concrete evidence to show how this doctor often behaved. The reason I contacted PALS and I told them so was because the majority of patients to this area were elderly and likely to be vulnerable and just accept all she said. I couldn't bear a more vulnerable person to suffer and not deal with her as you said op about people with anorexia hearing that comment - dreadful from a doctor!!

There are fantastic hard working empathetic doctors out there but it's one of the things that I think needs addressing on entry to medical school, academic grades are not enough alone. The student has to have empathy, professionalism and a whole load more skills that sadly not all have when starting out (I have written about this to the medical school) add-in overwork, personal issues, illness, stress and burn out and there is an awful lot behind behaviour like this in a consultation room and a comment or complaint may actually do an individual a favour if they need help to manage behaviour.

The doctor in my situation did actually go off long-term sick for a while sometime after the incident (I work for same trust) I haven't any idea whether the two were related, but her comments to me were about being stressed and overworked when I pulled her up on her rudeness at the time, maybe she took some much needed rest in the end.

Complaints don't have to be bad always, they can the prompt for better things.