To think gynaecologist was a bit harsh ? ***title edited to add a trigger warning for content that might affect those with eating disorders***

[Boysandme269]

So basically I had my ds2 6 months ago and I'm EBF however my period returned 4 weeks ago and it was extremely heavy and then 2 weeks later I got another one

Having health anixtety this alarmed me
I've always had 28 day periods even after DS1 and never heavy so I wasn't expecting such issues nor for them to return so soon

My gp wasn't interested and said as I had a clear smear a month ago it would just be hormones settling down
However due to the health anixety I decided to see a gynaecologist privately

I explained the situation to gynaecologist and at first she was going down the I'm sure it's breastfeeding causing the issue
However I happened to say I've noticed this time I'm heavier than what I was with DS1 could this of contributed?

Now when I say I'm heavier I've always being slim and now I'm not my bmi is 25 so I think pushing overweight but I'm not huge

She glanced at me and looked to my stomach and said well yes you are holding Weight in your middle
She said it is probably making you realise more hormones etc
She went on to say I mean you could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine

By this point I was mortified and she started talking about problems from girls who hold weight around their middles

At this point I interjected and said I don't carry weight around my middle. I hold my weight around my hips and thighs, I've just not shifted all the baby weight yet

So she said well you must have developed insulin resistance because you have tummy fat now

Is it not normal to have a bit of excess fat 6 months after a c section?

I ended up having to show a picture of my pre pregnancy body to prove I do infact usually have a flat toned stomach

She asked if I had GD etc which I didn't
And then she did a scan

Cervix healthy .. womb healthy left ovary perfect but she said right ovary had a couple of follicles so it was trying to ovulate but when on to say my weight meant it polycystic

She also said I see you have a couple of hairs on your stomach so you probably have polycycstic ovary syndrome and you will be insulin resistant and told me to change my diet or I'd be diabetic type 2

Now prior to DS2 my bmi has always been around 21/22 .. I did get a couple of hairs on my tummy when pregnant but I am not hairy
I lose weight fairly easy.. I started gym this week and have lost almost half a stone so I feel il lose last baby weight fine

I have always had regular 28 day periods and conceived both my children on first month without contraception
I did not have GD and as part of a work up by my Gp in relation to another health condition
I categorically know I'm not pre diabetic or insulin resistance my sugars are fine ( needed to know for steroids I have to take)

I asked again at end of appointment if I have PCOS and she said not as such but I have problem induced by my weight it should resolve

I thought pcos was life long ? Also I've had scans on ovaries before and I've never had a few follicles

Do you think I'm being ridiculous to be upset by this manner ?
I basically feel like i look like a fat disgusting beast now
Does it should like I have Pcos ?
Also the smallest part of my body is my waist the fat on my tummy is like a little bit over my c section scar does this sound like I have a problem with my middle ?

Quite devastated with how repulsive this person felt I looked , thought I was doing OK for having had little one 6 months ago

@BluebellsGreenbells posting the whole conversation would be too much for a post but I showed her the picture because she explicitly asked if I usually hold weight on my stomach
And suggested I probably had GD which I didn't
And I felt like I had to defend myself as she was obviously convinced looking at me currently that I'm not far from being diabetic
Which I am bemused about tbh as my bmi currently is 25 and until this appointment I didn't think I looked that large

@Branleuse

Some people are really gaslighting the OP

Agreed.

I would write her a factual letter-outlining what she said and how it made you feel.
If only in the hope of her adjusting her attitude towards other women in future.

I would also question about not being scanned. I imagine the appointment was a couple of hundred. That should include a scan imo.

@Candyfloss99 I wonder if you seen me if you would agree

I have a small waist and a small bit of squishy fat above c section scar
I'm very surprised this would be a issue
My weight is in my bum

@nevergoesaway thank you and as I said I do have a long term health issue and see doctors more than most
And I've not have this experience before so although I'm sensitive about weight etc I don't think I'm being ridiculous to say this applicant was awful and I've never been so embarrassed in all my life

Branleuse
“Some people are really gaslighting the OP”

I also agree with this. It is obvious who is BU and it most certainly isn’t the OP.

OP I’d step away from this thread now. Theres nothing to gain from it and I actually think a lot of the responses will make you feel worse.

@Hlgwsbytktu

I did think omg what would you say to someone bigger than Me ?

Probably 1 of those that would refuse to consider anything other than weight could be the issue

She said you could go six months without eating? What an odd thing for a doctor to say, how did you respond to that? It doesn’t matter how large you are, nobody can not eat for half the year.

The other stuff is a bit blunt but acceptable. When a doctor says you’re carrying weight on your stomach they don’t mean it to shame you, it can be symptomatic of various illnesses. She could have phrased it more nicely though.

@cinammonbuns

If I have PCOS il eat my socks
I'm 30 2 children conceived first cycle ( yes I know this is lucky I'm incredibly grateful)
Before baby two 28 day cycles never irregular
So strange if I suddenly have a life long problem that causes irregular cycles

If I had wrote the whole dialogue of the conversation the post would of been too big
My original post was a summary of the appointment sorry this constitutes as drip feeding
Dear me I should of included a full transcript to ensure no one here got offended

But yes she said I could go 6 months without eating and I would swear that on my my DC

I have to see doctors more than most and I've never had such a experience before so not completely mad

The words like “disgusting” were just in your head OP, the gynae never added these words to the convo, that is all conjecture and your own value judgements

To equate “belly fat” with “looking disgusting “, is what your thoughts were, not hers.

She was a bit too straight maybe, but she was just talking medical facts, not valid judgements on appearance

Some of the replies to this thread are just so horrible and patronising. From what you’ve said OP YANBU and I would be sending an email to express how the appointment made you feel, and if that wasn’t taken seriously would be putting in a complaint.

to be honest, she sounds like she has issues, I would not want to be seen by her, and I am normal weight, before anybody thinks I am being defensive

people saying OP thinks fat equals disgusting, have you missed the bit where she says she was anorexic in the past? she clearly has struggled with this

OP, it's not you, it's her, you are doing great six months post C-section, don't fall back into unhealthy thought patterns for you!

@Kanaloa

I didn't really respond to 6 months without eating comment
I was mortified I wanted the ground to swallow me up

And I googled it actually if you are super obese apparently you can ( some man went 358 days only on vitamins apparently)
Hence me taking from that she thought I looked giant

I understand the weight around the middle risk
But my waist is very small and ..6 months after a baby I thought a little bit of fat on stomach wasn't too bad

My bad for not bouncing back quick enough this time

people saying OP thinks fat equals disgusting, have you missed the bit where she says she was anorexic in the past? s

That poster was pointing out that it was OP words. Not the gynaecologist. That's a key factor here, even more so with the ED history

Tell me who she is and I'll go round and show her my elderly, sagging body, in revenge.

I just kept wondering what does she say to ladies larger than me

perhaps she thought she could have a frank chat with you as you're clearly interested in regaining your pre pregnancy body

but however we give difficult news will be heard out of tune, hopefully though you'll continue to take action

@spongedod yes, exactly that

Bare in mind, sometimes private consultants are not good enough to get a job in the NHS. Sounds like an incredibly lazy gynaecologist.

@Mummyford

Thank you for your comment
That's all I wanted to know really from her
If it was something sinister or if it was post partrum / breastfeeding issue

It makes sense breastfeeding could cause hormonal issues

Half a stone a week wasn't a aim , I did admittedly do alot in the gym but I am eating and don't want to ruin my supply so will be careful

Why do some people automatically assume the OP is lying? It’s perfectly plausible as there are actually some nasty people in the world. It’s just wrong to disbelieve someone without proof - I don’t know why people do it on MN. It just seems mean to me.

I had emergency CS with DC3, and my first period after that was not extremely heavy but extremely long, over a month. It made me feel quite unwell. Also, although I lost quite a bit of weight this year, my belly is still soft and overhanging. Exercise would probably make it better, I just need to force myself to do it.
Regarding your doctor, I think speaking bluntly or matter of fact is usually just people being rude. The same people often don't appreciate if you speak "bluntly" to them

There’s quite a lot going on here I think.
You booked to see a private gynaecologist after two irregular periods in case you had cancer.
You have lost half a stone last week and intend to do the same this week. You are going to the gym 5 times a week. And used to have anorexia.
Then you run up against this particular gynaecologist who is at least blunt at worst rude and it sets of this current mind set that you think she thinks you’re disgusting, a big hairy beast, and obese.
Maybe you need to think about you’re reaction to a less than complimentary doctor.

I mean, doctors should be able to tell people that their lifestyle is unhealthy but she surely didn’t need to say you could starve yourself for 6 months. That’s a bit harsh

Honesty I think you need some counselling you had no need to see a private gyno you're looking for problems, that plus a history of Ed and thinking overweight is a BMI of 25.