To think gynaecologist was a bit harsh ? ***title edited to add a trigger warning for content that might affect those with eating disorders***

[Boysandme269]

So basically I had my ds2 6 months ago and I'm EBF however my period returned 4 weeks ago and it was extremely heavy and then 2 weeks later I got another one

Having health anixtety this alarmed me
I've always had 28 day periods even after DS1 and never heavy so I wasn't expecting such issues nor for them to return so soon

My gp wasn't interested and said as I had a clear smear a month ago it would just be hormones settling down
However due to the health anixety I decided to see a gynaecologist privately

I explained the situation to gynaecologist and at first she was going down the I'm sure it's breastfeeding causing the issue
However I happened to say I've noticed this time I'm heavier than what I was with DS1 could this of contributed?

Now when I say I'm heavier I've always being slim and now I'm not my bmi is 25 so I think pushing overweight but I'm not huge

She glanced at me and looked to my stomach and said well yes you are holding Weight in your middle
She said it is probably making you realise more hormones etc
She went on to say I mean you could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine

By this point I was mortified and she started talking about problems from girls who hold weight around their middles

At this point I interjected and said I don't carry weight around my middle. I hold my weight around my hips and thighs, I've just not shifted all the baby weight yet

So she said well you must have developed insulin resistance because you have tummy fat now

Is it not normal to have a bit of excess fat 6 months after a c section?

I ended up having to show a picture of my pre pregnancy body to prove I do infact usually have a flat toned stomach

She asked if I had GD etc which I didn't
And then she did a scan

Cervix healthy .. womb healthy left ovary perfect but she said right ovary had a couple of follicles so it was trying to ovulate but when on to say my weight meant it polycystic

She also said I see you have a couple of hairs on your stomach so you probably have polycycstic ovary syndrome and you will be insulin resistant and told me to change my diet or I'd be diabetic type 2

Now prior to DS2 my bmi has always been around 21/22 .. I did get a couple of hairs on my tummy when pregnant but I am not hairy
I lose weight fairly easy.. I started gym this week and have lost almost half a stone so I feel il lose last baby weight fine

I have always had regular 28 day periods and conceived both my children on first month without contraception
I did not have GD and as part of a work up by my Gp in relation to another health condition
I categorically know I'm not pre diabetic or insulin resistance my sugars are fine ( needed to know for steroids I have to take)

I asked again at end of appointment if I have PCOS and she said not as such but I have problem induced by my weight it should resolve

I thought pcos was life long ? Also I've had scans on ovaries before and I've never had a few follicles

Do you think I'm being ridiculous to be upset by this manner ?
I basically feel like i look like a fat disgusting beast now
Does it should like I have Pcos ?
Also the smallest part of my body is my waist the fat on my tummy is like a little bit over my c section scar does this sound like I have a problem with my middle ?

Quite devastated with how repulsive this person felt I looked , thought I was doing OK for having had little one 6 months ago

@lljkk no I don't think people who weight on their middle are disgusting

Don't particularly notice other women's Weight and wouldn't comment

Maybe I should of been more explicit in original post the way she looked at me made me feel very uncomfortable and telling me I could stop eating for 6 months and be fine.. suggests to me she thought I was pretty awful

I've goggled it you'd need to obese to go so long without food I'm not obese she clearly felt I looked it

I had a really heavy second period after my second child - was EBF.
I thought I was haemorrhaging !
It all settled down eventually.

@Hopdathelf

Why do you keep drip feeding? You’ve dropped in you ED status and now you’re saying she sniggered. Any more to add?

This is what I'd like to know.

I read the OP and I was going to say, "Are you sure she said" I mean you could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine?? Or is that just how you interpreted it.

But with the rest of the OP's dramatic hyperbole and drip-feeding, I think it's probably how she heard it in her head.

@Hopdathelf not meaning to drip feed when she said the comment about 6 months of no eating she looked me up and down and she sniggered
She said I had hairs on my stomach so must have insulin resistance and would likely become diabetic

And when I said pre baby I was slim and toned she said Really?!
Prompting me to show her a pic of me 8 weeks pregnant in a bikini

Is that explicit enough?

It was a bloody awful appointment and I've never felt so judged by a female in all my life

I felt like she was disgusted by me rightly or wrongly that's how I felt

And I have a long term health condition so I see doctors all the time and I've never felt like this ever

Terrible doctor, honestly incompetent. To suggest you have PCOS just because you have a few body hairs like most women who aren't waxed and plucked like barbie dolls, she sounds completely ignorant of the human body outsider her area of expertise.

@WorraLiberty

She said exact words

'You could literally go 6 months without eating and be fine '

Those exact words

I would wait a little and if not resolved, I would see a different gynae. I the meantime, complain and see if you can get a refund. Mention your previous anorexia and cite what help you had from the medical profession at the time.

And you pointed out you'd literally be dead?

My niece went to see a gynaecologist for having hardly any periods.
The doctor said she was obese (without weighing her) and diagnosed PCOS. We were shocked, she was not obese, and you certainly don’t say that to a teenager.
She actually apologised at the next visit, without prompting, and weighed her this time.

Disgusting behaviour from her, I'm confused why people are voting YABU.
Definitely make a complaint. Have you already paid in full?

I feel like your sensitivity has come from your own issues here and you are drip feeding more to make her sound worse and prove you are right. Ultimately if you are not happy, put in a complaint.

Do you see anyone for help with your health anxiety and eating disorder? If not that would be money well spent. Paying a gynaecologist over a couple of periods in the few weeks after having a baby was extremely excessive.

Op, it sounds like you have taken what was a blunt doctor’s opinion and added your own feelings onto it a little bit? I was going to say she’s 100% in the wrong for being so blunt, and I still feel that’s the case. There was no need for her to go on and on like that, if that’s what happened. But I do want to send you a massive virtual hug because I feel what it comes down to is how you feel about yourself. 6 months is no time at all and your body will lose the weight in its own time. Going to gym 5 times a week while also parenting full time is exhausting - give yourself a break and be careful so you don’t develop anorexia again based on this experience. You are clearly vulnerable to mean comments (or any comments) in regards to your weight and I’m sure she’d be mortified if she’d known.

Try to let this go and enjoy your baby. Your body has changed but your heart has not. Take care!

@LIZS

I wanted to know if my issue was post partrum or if it could be some kind of cancer

I did not go to dicuss that on the day my child turned out 6 months I haven't lost every pound of weight nor to discuss having 4 strays hairs on my stomach

I certainly didn't go for weight loss advice

And yes I told her at the start I've always been slim sometimes too slim due to anorexia and I told her I'm now going to the gym 5 times a week and on a strict diet to remove any left fat from baby

I don't think you could meet Me and not know I worry about weight

Hard to say really. Not sure how you came across and not sure why you felt the need to show her a picture of you in a bikini - that’s irrelevant! What’s happening now is what’s important not previously.

I think going to a specialist over an extra period after a newborn is a bit excessive, this game take time to realign and get back to normal.

Maybe you came across as a bit hysterical?

Maybe when she said ‘you could go 6 months without eating’, she meant in a general way?

I feel like your sensitivity has come from your own issues here and you are drip feeding more to make her sound worse and prove you are right. Ultimately if you are not happy, put in a complaint.

I agree, although I'd think long and hard about what the gynecologist actually did say, before complaining about her. It wouldn't be fair to add anything she didn't actually say to the complaint.

@spongedod yes I'm still seeing someone about extreme health anixety, baby ended up very ill after he was born so I am quite fragile/ over anxious at the moment

And I just wanted to rule out a sinister cause I didn't go to talk about being 3 pounds over a ideal weight

The appointment was truly awful and i know I'm sensitive but Is telling someone you could go 6 months without eating ok ?

I explained to this lady I've got health anxiety and have had problems with eating so it's not like she didn't know

Did she know about your history of ED? I do wonder if you’re reading more into some of her looks/words than was really there.

Doctors do have to factual about the risks of excess weight. It sounds like you wanted reassurance for your health anxiety, but are annoyed now that you’ve been told there are some things you need to do to improve your health.

[quote Boysandme269]@spongedod yes I'm still seeing someone about extreme health anixety, baby ended up very ill after he was born so I am quite fragile/ over anxious at the moment

And I just wanted to rule out a sinister cause I didn't go to talk about being 3 pounds over a ideal weight

The appointment was truly awful and i know I'm sensitive but Is telling someone you could go 6 months without eating ok ?

I explained to this lady I've got health anxiety and have had problems with eating so it's not like she didn't know[/quote]

No, it's not ok. Like I said, make a complaint.

Suggest seeking help for the health anxiety and focusing primarily on your ED recovery.

You could complain about the gynae doctor, but it’d be hard to prove your allegations, and it could be stressful at a time when you have a lot going on, and already have challenges mental health wise.

@WorraLiberty I don't know if I will complain
If I did it would be about the 6 months without eating

I feel this was dangerous comment
I stopped eating after a comment about big thighs at 14
This comment to a young girl could be very dangerous or someone like me with a history

But with the rest of the OP's dramatic hyperbole and drip-feeding, I think it's probably how she heard it in her head.

Have to agree with this. OP you clearly have body issues, you've mentioned ED, you seem obsessive about the gym etc, I think the issue here is you and a very unhealthy view of your body. Your reaction to having PCOS is particularly weird. Please talk to a therapist and get some support from them.

Yanbu. She's allowed to point out weight related risks but saying you could not eat for 6 months is completely unprofessional and also clearly inaccurate. Whether or not you have/had an ed it would always be wrong for a dr to say that to someone, no matter how overweight. I can completely see why you're upset.

Sometimes people need to bluntly hear that they are overweight and need to lose it. It sounds like that was the case here as you are overweight and still finding excuses for it. However, that doesn’t excuse sniggering or saying you don’t need to eat for six months. It’s quite possible for some of what you were told to be correct and some to have not been appropriate.

I’ve had very different periods after every pregnancy and never back to how they were before my first pregnancy. That’s quite normal. I’ve also had four c sections.

[quote Boysandme269]@WorraLiberty I don't know if I will complain
If I did it would be about the 6 months without eating

I feel this was dangerous comment
I stopped eating after a comment about big thighs at 14
This comment to a young girl could be very dangerous or someone like me with a history[/quote]
If you can put your hand on your heart and say that's exactly what she said, then yes of course you should complain.