Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your young teen tells you to fuck off...

108 replies

FedupFuckedoff · 08/08/2021 11:57

...how do you respond/what do you do? Dc has apologised but said I deserved it. I said something that could have been phrased better but I have ASD and sometimes my mouth bypasses my brain. I've apologised for my poor choice of words. It was a comment on one of her friendships that is very on and off and they fall out most days and I said something to that effect. It didn't warrant being told to fuck off.
Nc for this.

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 20:21

@Kralia

And you now advocate knocking kids across a room as a good parenting strategy?!

Read your own words. You took 'memberofthewedding's post/comment about what her Father did to her and twisted it to suit your on agenda.

She did not at any time suggest OP do this to her Child.

PlanDeRaccordement · 08/08/2021 20:22

I think in a situation where you first said something very unkind/hurtful and they responded with a fuck off, that you are both even. You apologised and they have apologised. To then punish them, for a situation you caused by being the first to mouth off would be hypocritical.

QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 20:23

@Kralia

If we could back off with the aggressive capitals, that would be good...

STOP changing peoples posts to suit your agenda .. THAT is not helpful.

Magenta82 · 08/08/2021 20:51

@PlanDeRaccordement

I think in a situation where you first said something very unkind/hurtful and they responded with a fuck off, that you are both even. You apologised and they have apologised. To then punish them, for a situation you caused by being the first to mouth off would be hypocritical.

I very much agree with this, otherwise you are experiencing more of your DD than you are capable yourself.

Mountaingoatling · 08/08/2021 21:03

Explain that you've never used that phrase to her nor has she ever heard you use it. Explain that within your family, however annoyed you are, you don't use that phrase within your family.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/08/2021 21:04

Nothing worse than someone apologising - then saying “but ….”

Original poster
FedupFuckedoff · 08/08/2021 21:32

She's run off now because I tried speaking to her and explaining that is not how you speak to people. Says she'd say the same to her teachers and that if someone deserves it then she'll say it.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 08/08/2021 22:06

To be fair OP you swore at her first, saying she was bitching.
You kind of did deserve a fuck off in response.

You’re the adult, you shouldn’t have gone to swearing first.

I’d do mutual apology, a hug, and move on.

Original poster
FedupFuckedoff · 08/08/2021 22:46

Yes, I deserved it. Yes, it's completely my fault. I've done a poor job of raising her. She's run off to her dad's now where she is the perfect child for him so that proves it. I'm too tired for this shit. I'm done.

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 23:12

@FedupFuckedoff

Yes, I deserved it. Yes, it's completely my fault. I've done a poor job of raising her. She's run off to her dad's now where she is the perfect child for him so that proves it. I'm too tired for this shit. I'm done.

You're not a bad Mum...

things got heated.. yes... but you are still the Parent .. you decide where you go with this OP 🌸

EmeraldShamrock · 09/08/2021 20:48

She's run off now because I tried speaking to her and explaining that is not how you speak to people.
Did you start with apologising first? It isn't the biggest crime she reacted to your comments, pick your battles, talk when the situation has calmed down.

QueenBee52 · 10/08/2021 00:17

OP.. you're the Parent...

You decide what is in her best interests .. 🌸

AtticusHoysAnus · 10/08/2021 05:29

I'll change the wifi, take all electronics off her and fuck off to very far away from her as she told you too. Also let her on her own for a long time, by not engaging in conversation, not giving her any money, talking strictly the necessary and ignoring her as much as I could. Until she learns some respect.

Do you normally massively overreact?

speakout · 10/08/2021 06:34

Until she learns some respect.

You think that will make her respect a parent?

It was the OP that swore at the child first- should she also be punished?

ParistoLondon · 10/08/2021 06:42

If it was just a conversation, not even a heated argument, imo it just shows how very little respect your DC has for you. Has (s)he acted like this before or is this relatively new behaviour?

speakout · 10/08/2021 06:55

She sounds an unhappy kid.
And her moher tells her she is bitching.

If my kids told me to fuck off I would be concerned about their inner state.

OhGiveUp · 10/08/2021 06:56

Mine once tried that. It took about a week for her to get rid of the taste of soap in her mouth.

speakout · 10/08/2021 06:56

It took about a week for her to get rid of the taste of soap in her mouth.

I hope that is s joke.

OhGiveUp · 10/08/2021 06:58

Nope. No joke.

speakout · 10/08/2021 07:00

OhGiveUp

You washed your child's mouth with soap? Seriously?

OhGiveUp · 10/08/2021 07:02

Yes I did.

speakout · 10/08/2021 07:03

I consider wahings a child's mouth with soap abusive.

OhGiveUp · 10/08/2021 07:05

That's your prerogative.

speakout · 10/08/2021 07:08

That's your prerogative

Not just my perogative. It is illegal.
There has been convictions of child assualt for this practice in the UK.

I woud report such a crime.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/joiner-who-washed-swearing-six-year-old-6035308

OhGiveUp · 10/08/2021 07:11

I hardly think my now 30 year old is going to report me for something that happened at 14.