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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how to stop DD taking my things?

258 replies

iseedeadpeoplehelp · 07/08/2021 07:38

DD almost 15 takes my stuff on a regular basis. I am 53 and enjoy my clothes/fashion etc. She is the same size as me so my clothes seem to be fair game to her. But she doesn't look after them! She will wear things once and throw it on the floor or play with the dog and get it covered in dog hair.
Then there are things like my shampoo, hair not great so the stuff I get doesn't foam up but when she took it she used half the bottle to get a lather and it was quite expensive. Dry shampoo, deodorant, perfume and replacement items for the make up I use disappears when she finds my stuff.
Most annoying is when she takes my tweezers, I am of an age where I need to remove those blasted chin hairs when I find one not have to hunt around for them!
Yesterday she had a friend over and by the time I got home her friend was also dressed in my clothes!
I am at my wits end. It's not like she needs my stuff, I buy her stuff as soon as she lets me know she needs it, but it makes no difference.
The only time I managed to stop her was when I found her with a pair of stockings she was wearing as 'long socks'. Told her they were for my 'sexy time' and she couldn't get them off quick enough!
Please give me some advice oh wise women of Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Sadiecow · 09/08/2021 19:07

@iseedeadpeoplehelp

My clothes are in there because I let her have the master bedroom. She is an only child and I knew that she would want sleepovers with friends so it was better as also has an en-suite bathroom. The other bedroom where her clothes has a wardrobe and chest of drawers that just would not fit my things in. We are thinking of putting more storage in the smaller room but can't afford it at the minute.
Move her bedroom, she's abusing it!
iseedeadpeoplehelp · 09/08/2021 21:40

@RedToothBrush you really are too invested in how 'weak' I am!

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 09/08/2021 22:18

No i just am amused.

PrincessNutella · 10/08/2021 12:53

OP, your daughter will not listen to you and does not respect your boundaries. You literally have taken a subordinate position within your own home--yet you cross HER boundaries every day to get your clothes, which is very manipulative of you (a gift with strings attached). You are acting like a friend by offering her nice things such as a better room instead of being a parent instead of saying no. She is going to assume the clothes and shampoo etc. are part of those things until you say no to those things, too. Your boundaries are a mess.

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 10/08/2021 13:02

@Datingandnoideahowto

Fuck that!!! Take your master bedroom back! She can use the bathroom!!!
This is the answer. Spot on. Big gestures often most effective. Don’t tell her you’re doing it, just do it, then tell her why and put a lock on the door.
grapewine · 10/08/2021 13:29

Your boundaries are a mess.

Ain't that the truth.

diddl · 10/08/2021 18:11

If your clothes are (currently) in her bedroom, then where are hers?

Also in her room?

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 10/08/2021 19:21

@LemonViolet

post to her social media selfies of you wearing her clothes or whatever

Oh please do this

Yes please! Do this!!!! 😏😏😏😏😏😏
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