Aibu to Feel judged about size of son!

[Angliski]

Ftm here. Conceived after five years of struggle, my gorgeous dS is 18 months old. Thing is he is very tall and strong. Off the charts of red book. He looks about 3- weighs 17kg nearly 90cm tall. He’s not fat, he has a six pack almost and likes lifting bricks. He has all his teeth and is just a big and advanced boy for his age.

Thing is, he was conceived by egg and sperm donation so he isn’t genetically linked to either of us. People always comment on how astonishingly big he is for a 1.5yr old, then they ask if DH is/was big. Don’t know how to reply to this. Will never know what his donors looked like as kids.

I feel so ashamed because I couldn’t use our own genetic material and I don’t know how to answer.

We are in Italy atm and today someone walked past and said he was ‘brutto’ which means ugly.he is actually a very handsome child who looks like a surfer but he is a weirdly big toddler. I was so upset. Also I am fat and very ashamed of it and think people think he is fat like me and/or doesn’t look like me ( he isn’t my colouring).

Aibu to get upset? Any advice?

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba I'm 5ft 2 so can only imagine staring up at my oak tree DS in the future.

@Lovingcup that's an interesting way in. I've always come from the front, I might well try that next time. It's the way he can nut you that's scary for me! Also, now he can hold hands and walk, I am being 'led', because he is literally strong enough to insist on where we are going. mostly he is sensible about it and we can negotiate but he is getting into walking down the centre of a side street which i'm not happy with and means that i have to pick him up instead which is... oooof on long distances.

What did you do about prams for long walks? Abandon, bring with and drag just in case?

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam bless his cottons... I'm really fascinated by the variety of shapes and sizes. Strapping is the word isn't it. :)

@Lightswitch123 he is epically big. Peadiatrican and gp all get the same measurements and all agree. They seem to feel that as long as all elements are in line that he is just 'big for his age with heavy bones'. He isn't tubbier than any other toddler he is just bleeding heavy and solid and tall - I mean, a size 9 foot is a fairly objective and impartial measure so pretty sure we are dealing with the right numbers.

@Angliski

I'm 5' 4".
We were walking down the road a few weeks ago. He put his arm round my shoulder so I lifted my arm to put it around his waist - only it wasn't his waist but his butt I ended up hugging at that angle🤣
It just didn't work.
We ended up walking holding hands so I remarked that it must look like that he is taking his little mummy for a walk!🤣🤣🤣

@Angliski re: pushchair, he hated it after about 18 months, would kick and scream if you tried to get him in it. Most of the time he used to be happier walking BUT he also had no sense of danger and didn’t care if I was in sight or not. So if it was near roads etc. then I just used to have to get him in the pushchair and take the bruises for his own safety. If it was somewhere safer like a country walk, I’d just let him walk but had to keep my wits about me to make sure he was staying in my sight or he’d have been off. Reins wouldn’t have worked because he was too strong, he’d have ended up either pulling me over or both of us over! Happy to say he’s much easier now at 6

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba ROFL.

Laughing so hard here her at the lifts bricks and then you post a picture of him with an actual brick. brilliant!

Honestly though don't worry, he's fine. He looks gorgeous.

If its any consolation my DD was mistaken for age 4 frequently when she was just turned 2, and once when she was 4 someone thought she was 8. She was solid I would say but not fat, but she was tall for her age.

At 13 she was 5ft 6, but skinny as a rake.

Shes now 20, 5ft8 and about a size 8-10, so certainy evened out.

But I do remember people judging her at age 2, thinking she was much older and should be doing things a 4 year old should do. Like shouldn't she be cutting up her own dinner? Errr no, shes 2.

@Bookworm20 ah thanks… and your sounds beautiful now too!

Hehe I didn’t go on to post the video of him lifting dumbbells as I thought it might be a step too far but he is basically The Hercules of Babies. He tries to lift anything he can.

@JacquelineCarlyle thank you so much for the reassurance. Pfb and he is mega heavy, so it does really help to get feedback from other parents. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without mumsnet.

Coming back on to say, that having done tests, he wasn’t just big. Ds has a condition that causes accelerated muscle and puberty development. So glad I had it checked out but gutted for him. So just to say, sometimes they aren’t just a big one!

Oh wow. Just read through all your posts OP and was enjoying the pics of your gorgeous boy and your funny comments then got to your update I'm so sorry to hear that he has a condition. I hope it is one that can be managed and won't cause him any significant problems in his life. He is a total cutie and his family obviously love him to bits x

@Draineddraineddrained thank you - he is a total darling and such a happy chap, but I just felt something wasn’t right and so hoping we have caught it early!