Locked Parking Thread - The Actual End

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

This has been a wild ride made substantially more entertaining by DBs shenanigans but the end is in sight.

Hopefully by 8.35 the car will be free. I will be downing something alcoholic and next time the straw comes I'll make him bring it in by hand one bale at a time WITHOUT unlocking the gate!

I'm going to go for dignified and just let him out and convince myself that him moving it at all makes this a draw my victory. He no doubt will do the same and we'll both potter off happily into the sunset hopefully never to meet again!

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* Edited by MNHQ to add *

Previous threads all here:

To lock the jackass in (parking thread)
Locked parking thread 2
Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))
Locked parking thread 4 - The End
Locked Parking Thread 5 - The Actual End

@BlueLobelia

[googles farms for sale near me]

:)

My lame super power is being able to time my school run drive to the absolute second, no matter what road works / broken down rubbish bin lorries are in place. 7 years, 40 minute school run twice a day, been late once. (Got a very mild bollocking from DS1's year 4 teacher though).

My lame superpower is looking at leftovers and picking the exact right jar or box to fit it in exactly. It's uncanny I tell you.

I bet he will be late. Twat will do it deliberately.

@marbleborough

Noooo it can't be the end.

Ideas for making it last longer

1 The car doesn't start
2 He turns up with flowers and wine to apologies and it is the start of a beautiful love story
3 Forestry people turn up in massive JCB and drive over the car before he gets there

What else?

Oooh number 2 would be an excellent plot twist

That;s a very useful lame superpower!

I hope he turns up and is not related to crazy horse lady (I may have the wrong poster so sorry in advance).

*I am useless at confrontation too but I still think I would ask, pleasantly, the non-confrontational question: “When I told you I needed to lock the gates, why did you ask me to give you 5 minutes?”

And then just… silence. Resist the urge to offer answers for him. Make him explain his thought process.

If needs be, you can always follow up with: “I came back 5 minutes later, as promised. I didn’t see you scouting the road for other parking possibilities. Did you even try to park elsewhere?” And again, wait.

If feeling daring, you could add, still pleasantly, and as if you are simply bemused and want to understand: “Was it because I’m a woman that you thought it wasn’t important when I told you the gates needed to be locked?”*

These are good. I would also recommend a kindly maternal, "Well, you have been a silly boy, haven't you?"

It would make me so happy if the car doesn't start

There's 50 mins to fill BlueEyesWhiteDragon, more if he's true to form and turns up late. So probably time for at least one or two insane stories.

TwoDrifters2 Tue 03-Aug-21 19:13:05 I am useless at confrontation too but I still think I would ask, pleasantly, the non-confrontational question: “When I told you I needed to lock the gates, why did you ask me to give you 5 minutes?” And then just… silence. Resist the urge to offer answers for him. Make him explain his thought process. If needs be, you can always follow up with: “I came back 5 minutes later, as promised. I didn’t see you scouting the road for other parking possibilities. Did you even try to park elsewhere?” And again, wait. If feeling daring, you could add, still pleasantly, and as if you are simply bemused and want to understand: “Was it because I’m a woman that you thought it wasn’t important when I told you the gates needed to be locked?”

^This. Exactly this.

The 5th (& final??) thread!
I am settled in and ready for 8.30

I think he'll be early to try and throw you off guard

You totally need to in a very mothering manner ask "whats the magic word"
INSIST on a please and thankyou!
If he doesn't say please... use the brother has the key card and it'll be a 5 hour drive to have them back. But can't be tonight because he's had a beer (or 5) to cope with the unnerving thought that he can't be there to do the honours!

You should have stuck a “?” on the end of that thread title y’know

I'm frankly shocked that the adverts showing up on MN aren't entirely for Rangers and Toby Carvery at this point.

Can we make sure CF sorts his shit out in time for Love Island?

I predict he'll turn up...and then drive off. Nothing more. If OP says anything that people have suggested I imagine CF will just laugh at her anyway

I hope he shows up on time. My husband will be annoyed if I tell him to make a sandwich for dinner again.

Can’t wait to see what happens at 8.30. He’ll surely either be early or late just to make a point.

I know some people think this is a troll thread but this is nothing compared to some previous shenanigans we've had. We don't get them much now because between better fencing, people having mobile phones so calling for their own assistance and more police patrols in the car park we get left alone. But some of the stories are truly in the realms of insane.

I think I feel Thread 6 coming on!!! Getting very excited OP!! I hope DB features in at least a few of the realms of insane stories!!

@ThisIsMyThread I did consider the one word at a time. Imagine trying to read it though. Especially with multiple posters 😅😅

@DorotheaDiamond

Shamelessly placemarking

Why don't you just bookmark?

If OP decides to make this into a west end play what would she call it

Leaving all of the distractions about the car to one side....

700 Brides For Just One Brother

@ThisIsMyThread

If OP decides to make this into a west end play what would she call it 🤔

Well, there's a movie called The Ranger - The Ranger is a 2018 American slasher horror film written and directed by Jenn Wexler. It stars Chloe Levine as a punk who flees with her friends from the law to hide out at her late uncle's cabin in a national forest, and Jeremy Holm as the titular park ranger who responds in an unhinged manner.

Or if we're doing musicals, we could include the following musical numbers from Rangers Songs - The Ultimate Collection

Every Other Saturday
We Shall Not Be Moved

Or - Seven thousand Brides for One Awesome Brother.

To continue on the food theme I have a beef curry and naan bread waiting for me once I’ve finally finished bedtime and will await the arrival of the CFer with that and possibly a gin as I’ve run out of wine

Definitely ask for an apology!

Out of interest... Does the car park opposite charge for parking, OP?

If it does, I would be handing him an invoice 3 or however many days it is to be paid before he leaves.