To ask how to tell my friend her house smells?

[Dogproblems14]

NC as outing.

I have a friend who I’ve been friends with for over 3 years. We are in our 30’s. She is a lovely person and I love spending time with her and her company. My friend recently moved out of her parents home and into her own one bed flat. This issue is, she has two big dogs living in the flat with her. I don’t necessarily agree with dogs in flats but, it’s her life and each to their own- but the smell is atrocious.

I’ve been to her flat twice, and it smells very heavy of dog with hair everywhere- it's a very strong smell. One of the dogs has also been on heat and last time she hadn’t washed her bedding despite it having blood on and the dog being on heat weeks before! Another issue is that when I’m there she lets the dogs lick the leftovers directly off the plate, and sometimes tea out of her mug! she doesn’t have a dishwasher and I just think it’s so gross to watch her dogs eat off a plate that then I have too.

She’s invited me round for dinner and a sort of wine night, and to stay over on Friday and I’m dreading it. The dogs are her babies, and I do think if I mention anything she will be highly offended- she’s quite a sensitive person. She has no mental health issues, and is actually a very clean and immaculate person in herself which makes this situation stranger. I’ve suggested her coming to mine instead, but as she lives in a city centre and there’s more to do it makes more sense to eat/drink there. It would be a very expensive taxi home to mine which also wouldn't make sense to her.

How can I go there, and not be grossed out by the thought of eating/sleeping there? ☹ I feel like a horrible awful friend.

Also sorry to any dog lovers I may have offended!

LST, I have sufficient friends, thannks. It's quality, not quantity too. I keep my circle small, ... and hygienic.

Just don't go, you can still be friends and just meet up for dinner or drinks or activities out of the house.

I have a similar problem with a friend, only they're bed bound due to illness so the only way I can see them is by going to their house. It's so bad that when I was pregnant I had to take a bag with me to throw up into when one of the dogs came near me. I used to apply perfume oil to the inside of my nostrils to try cope with it. But if they'd have been able to leave the house then I'd only meet them at other places instead.

I don't think there's much you can do to change this, only change whether you'll tolerate being around it or not.

@NoThannks

LST, I have sufficient friends, thannks. It's quality, not quantity too. I keep my circle small, ... and hygienic.

Same here. That's why I have no one like you in my life. Thank God

I worry about dog smells in my house because I have 4 but I clean and spray, burn incense and open windows.

Can you not go in and just say oh wow it stinks in here today and open a window, sounds as if the problem isn't constant.

If she's that good a friend, just tell her.

Same, LST, same.
I'll be hygienic with my hygienic friends, you can stay scuzzy with yours.

@nonotmenotI

I worry about dog smells in my house because I have 4 but I clean and spray, burn incense and open windows.

Can you not go in and just say oh wow it stinks in here today and open a window, sounds as if the problem isn't constant.

If she's that good a friend, just tell her.

This baffles me. You know it's a problem. You spend £££ trying to mask the smell (doesn't work, your house just smells of dog plus layers of incense), yet there's a much easier solution. I don't understand why people choose to live in dirt and stink.

when i said earlier about everyone who has dogs, having houses that you can smell dog in. I was including myself and pretty much everyone I know who has dogs. Its the price you pay. You do have to clean more to get it under control, but some houses are obviously worse than others for this.
During covid times youve got the perfect excuse for meeting elsewhere. or asking if you can meet in the garden or the park nearby

I wouldn't be going. And you have to tell her why. There's no other way.

@NoThannks

Same, LST, same. I'll be hygienic with my hygienic friends, you can stay scuzzy with yours.

God they're lucky have you. Blimey. The only thing scuzzy my dear is your vile attitude.

@girl71

Dog hair gets everywhere . I have recounted this story many times but , yrs ago ( 2003) we had a Macmillan coffee morning at work. We all brought in cakes to sell slices , to raise money for charity. We all paid our money and tucked in to each others bakes..... we all found dog hairs in the one particular coffee and walnut. Literally, frosting clinging onto hairs in a Italian stringy cheese type fashion . The only cake from a dog owner colleague. I had to withdraw the cake on H&S grounds and the baker understood why when, i showed them the hairs in their cake.

Some people are oblivious to dog stench, some are oblivious to hygiene and some like their cake with animal hairs. This was in 2003 and i have never eaten a colleagues bake since.

That is RANK. I never eat other people's food, unless I know them VERY well and know their hygiene standards. I will certainly never eat at someone's home if they have a dog. Already I know their hygiene standards are sub par.

@EspressoDoubleShot

Of course someone always protest no, no dog smell here. Maybe you’re used to it. There is always a dog smell where dogs live. Of course there is they swear,drool,shed doggy detritus

The people saying that not all doggy houses smell aren't defending their own. They're saying they know other people who have doggy homes that don't smell and as an outside observer, it's easy enough to tell. Non dog owners aren't usually nose blind to it. I know plenty of people with dogs. It often depends on the people's cleaning and hygiene standards if their house is a clean, fresh smelling house with a dog or a doggy stinking house. My SM and DF's place absolutely reeked something awful and we all blamed the dog herself as the place appeared to be quite clean and the dog wasn't allowed upstairs. I stayed a few days once and hoovered every single day when SM went to work and opened windows each morning for a bit and the smell was magically gone. Turned out, SM hoovered weekly only and kinda went mad that I had hoovered on the non hoovering days. She also flipped out that the windows had been open as they were to remain securely locked closed at all times (for safety apparently!) And before anyone bitches about lazy DF, he was bed bound

Same here. That's why I have no one like you in my life. Thank God

God, all she said was dogs smell and owners are used to it - which is entirely true. I love dogs but I'd never want one for this reason. Some dogs are more tolerable than others, but it also depends on the owners hygiene.

At the end of the day, animals are animals and they tend to smell as much as we love them. Dogs probably think we reek too, but it's the truth. I personally wouldn't cut someone off for owning dogs or comment on the smell, but I don't want them in my house🤷🏻‍♀️

@SweetJasmine17

Same here. That's why I have no one like you in my life. Thank God

God, all she said was dogs smell and owners are used to it - which is entirely true. I love dogs but I'd never want one for this reason. Some dogs are more tolerable than others, but it also depends on the owners hygiene.

At the end of the day, animals are animals and they tend to smell as much as we love them. Dogs probably think we reek too, but it's the truth. I personally wouldn't cut someone off for owning dogs or comment on the smell, but I don't want them in my house🤷🏻‍♀️

Have you actually read her comments?

@LST

More heavy handed than I'd say it, but she's not wrong about the smell. As I say, some homes smell stronger than others but it's literally just nature that dogs smell to us

Not befriending dog owners is too far for me as I still like dogs, but it's understandable if you can't tolerate the smell not to be around people who own them

[quote leonpride]@LST

More heavy handed than I'd say it, but she's not wrong about the smell. As I say, some homes smell stronger than others but it's literally just nature that dogs smell to us

Not befriending dog owners is too far for me as I still like dogs, but it's understandable if you can't tolerate the smell not to be around people who own them

[/quote]
Not saying she is wrong about dogs smelling. It's her disgusting judgmental attitude. Vile

I used to go out with a guy like this. The house didn't smell but everything else applies

We all make judgements though. Based on our sensitivities, beliefs, whatever. I do not want to have people in my life whose hygiene standards don't tally with mine. In the same way I don't hang out with smokers, drug users, people who wear Alien perfume (thankfully not so much, these days), etc. We all choose our friends, I just have different criteria to you. The smell of dogs literally makes me heave. I cannot stand it. It makes life much easier to simply avoid people who own dogs.

Then there is the hygiene issue, so even if I go with a facemask on and lavender bunged up my nostrils, I don't want to sit where Fido has just sat with his shitty ass, I don't want to eat off plates where people who think dogs belong in homes is hygienic because they clearly have lower standards than I do, so I don't trust them to have clean crockery or good food hygiene.

As bad as the smell of the dog is.
It's the hygiene or lack of it for me .
Nobody on this thread can say it's ok for the dog to pick off the plate and it's certainly not ok to not wash blood off a duvet.

I'm no Mrs HinCh but Jesus come on that's not right at all

I would be honest and tell her as it is a small enclosed space the dogs pong a bit. Could we meet at park to walk dogs?

I'd be dead honest and tell her and also say you aren't staying in her smelly flat either 🤮
She needs to sort that out

There are ways of making a house not smell of dogs..

Not having carpets or fabric sofas, washing dog beds weekly, having certain breeds known for not ponging.

Our home did not pong of dog when we had smooth coated sighthounds.

Now we have hairy hounds and particularly, a scent hound - it honks downstairs, despite the leather sofa and no carpets and weekly washed bed covers. It is significantly better in dry weather and definitely worse in wet.

I couldn't give a shit, I know its CLEAN... it just smells like dog, and im not filling it up with chemical de-odourisers and candles and stuff, we have tropical fish and other pets who would be poisoned by such things anyway.

If your friend is truly a friend, then you can tell her 'look mate, yer house pongs, can you clean up and do a febreeze before i come round'.

If you can't tell her that, then she's not really a friend is she...

Her home . Her choice. Friendship means accepting the ones you love no matter their material surroundings
Her dogs probably bring her more joy than your company so suck it up

Just pull up your big girl pants and put up with it and don't say a word. You would cause her a lot of hurt and I'm sure you don't want to do that. And we are hardly talking dire squalor here.. just some rather heavy duty "dogginess" to briefly endure. To be blunt - and not meaning to be rude - just suck it up.

@Rhumatoidwarrior88 snap.. hadn't seen your post when I was posting