To ask how to tell my friend her house smells?

[Dogproblems14]

NC as outing.

I have a friend who I’ve been friends with for over 3 years. We are in our 30’s. She is a lovely person and I love spending time with her and her company. My friend recently moved out of her parents home and into her own one bed flat. This issue is, she has two big dogs living in the flat with her. I don’t necessarily agree with dogs in flats but, it’s her life and each to their own- but the smell is atrocious.

I’ve been to her flat twice, and it smells very heavy of dog with hair everywhere- it's a very strong smell. One of the dogs has also been on heat and last time she hadn’t washed her bedding despite it having blood on and the dog being on heat weeks before! Another issue is that when I’m there she lets the dogs lick the leftovers directly off the plate, and sometimes tea out of her mug! she doesn’t have a dishwasher and I just think it’s so gross to watch her dogs eat off a plate that then I have too.

She’s invited me round for dinner and a sort of wine night, and to stay over on Friday and I’m dreading it. The dogs are her babies, and I do think if I mention anything she will be highly offended- she’s quite a sensitive person. She has no mental health issues, and is actually a very clean and immaculate person in herself which makes this situation stranger. I’ve suggested her coming to mine instead, but as she lives in a city centre and there’s more to do it makes more sense to eat/drink there. It would be a very expensive taxi home to mine which also wouldn't make sense to her.

How can I go there, and not be grossed out by the thought of eating/sleeping there? ☹ I feel like a horrible awful friend.

Also sorry to any dog lovers I may have offended!

I have two dogs and two cats, the one dog moults ridiculously and I’m so paranoid about people seeing his hair on the floor I’m always sweeping or hoovering, he also has a smell kind of like a dog BO when he’s been running about, so he gets the dog spray cause if I can smell him and I live with him everyone else must think he stinks. You could just go in and be like ive never smelt the dogs before but they stink today have they been to the park? Also never noticed how much they moult that must be why I’m itching so bad, sorry I can’t stay 😫

Covid. Got pinged as a close contact. Omg I'm so sorry, dog friend. We'll have to reschedule!

@imamearcat

Off topic but I think she sounds a nicer dog owner that you with your dog 'in its own designated space'.

Nah. They're dogs, not people. There's no need for them to be all over the furniture and eating human food. None at all. People froth at the mouth trying to say how their dogs are exactly the same as a person, but how many people spend ages licking their own genitals, sniffing other peoples arses, eating other people's shit and rolling in it? The ones that do are niche as fuck, but it's standard practice for dogs. They're gross.

Sometimes people who live with dogs have a house that smells like dogs….shocker.

You’re a jerk.

How do you know that she doesn't want to come to your house cos it stinks of your old dog?

@LittleMissPlant and wow, some people don’t like the stink of dogs or dog period all over the sheets. Shocker!

I would say something along the lines of
“Gosh Arabella ( or whatever her name is).
I was out for longer than normal yesterday and when I got home, the smell of dog really got to me.
I realise my house reeks of dog and of dog food.
I guess, I had become used to it and didn’t notice how awful it is.
It’s the sort of smell that makes me want to vomit.
I thought, I had it nailed with “Bingo” only allowed in the downstairs and all the baths/ grooming.
But boy was I wrong!

I would actually fake illness and not go. And never let it get to this point where you had such plans again

Insist you eat out locally and have drinks out. Where will you sleep? Sharing a bed?? If you must stay you’ll need to bring a sleeping bag. Say nothing, just use it!!
Secretly quickly wash dishes in the morning that’ll you’ll have to use for breakfast or go out for brunch. Never go back again !!

Don't tell her. You'll get no thanks for it. Make up an excuse not to stay. Invite her to your house.

Just be honest, yes it will be a bit embaressing but at least she will know and can suggest ways that can help with it. I know if it was me I would rather know despite it being embaressing.

I'd say I was isolating if I was you. No way would I sleep somewhere like that, gives me the boak even thinking about it. Hope you work something out or can even talk to her without hurting her feelings

How can a human have dog babies?

Weird.

Dog period on an unwashed bed?

er NO.

Secretly quickly wash dishes in the morning that’ll you’ll have to use for breakfast

Presumably the dishes in the cupboard are already hand-washed though? OP seems to believe that only a dishwasher can get them clean enough.

Maybe just go for dinner but make up plans for the next day so say you're getting w can home

I'd not be able to sleep with the smell of dog in my nostrils

I had a much loved golden retriever but NEVER would have allowed her to lick plates or cups. I don't care how hot the washing up water is, dogs cheerfully lick unmentional places and eat fox poo. No way would our dog have eaten off our crockery. Some owners honestly treat their dogs like humans. They are not. They are animals. And I'm sorry, but I'd work out what to say to your friend as kindly
and diplomatically as possible and if the friendship lapses because of it, I'd be sad but not broken hearted.

I used to have a friend whose house stunk of dog. One of those spanish water dogs. If we ate there the doors were usually open so it as fine. Just a cup of tea though and it was vile.
She had chickens too and the eggs always tasted of pine.
Her husband was a bit of a sleeze and went off shagging other women when he went out on the piss. Nothing to do with the dog smell but another thing that makes me feel a bit sick about her. She is not a friend anymore.

The smell is one thing, leaving dirty stained sheets is disgusting.
I wouldn't say anything, I definitely wouldn't eat there.

My friend had two Highland Terriers, when I used to pick her up in my car I could smell the dogs on her clothes. I used to put perfume under my nose before I picked her up. The smell lingered in my car the day after. I never got up the courage to tell her. Thankfully the dogs have died and she hasnt replaced them.

Don’t. It’s rude.

I have dogs and I'm paranoid I'm your friend, but I wash the bedding all the time, have the doors wide open and Hoover every day.

I'd not bother saying anything, nothing she can do about it whilst you're there except feel uncomfortable. Either grin and bear it or get a taxi home / maybe you have to dog sit

Tell her you’ve been pinged by the app and have to self isolate so can’t make it over.

Why do cat owners leave the litter tray indoors usually the kitchen were food is prepared.
I'd leave it out the back under a parasol.
The trays stink.

@EmeraldShamrock

Why do cat owners leave the litter tray indoors usually the kitchen were food is prepared. I'd leave it out the back under a parasol. The trays stink.

Isn't it only indoor cats that have litter trays? Isn't the whole point of them that the cats don't have access to a garden?