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Original poster

To ask how to tell my friend her house smells?

311 replies

Dogproblems14 · 03/08/2021 16:13

NC as outing.

I have a friend who I’ve been friends with for over 3 years. We are in our 30’s. She is a lovely person and I love spending time with her and her company. My friend recently moved out of her parents home and into her own one bed flat. This issue is, she has two big dogs living in the flat with her. I don’t necessarily agree with dogs in flats but, it’s her life and each to their own- but the smell is atrocious.

I’ve been to her flat twice, and it smells very heavy of dog with hair everywhere- it's a very strong smell. One of the dogs has also been on heat and last time she hadn’t washed her bedding despite it having blood on and the dog being on heat weeks before! Another issue is that when I’m there she lets the dogs lick the leftovers directly off the plate, and sometimes tea out of her mug! she doesn’t have a dishwasher and I just think it’s so gross to watch her dogs eat off a plate that then I have too.

She’s invited me round for dinner and a sort of wine night, and to stay over on Friday and I’m dreading it. The dogs are her babies, and I do think if I mention anything she will be highly offended- she’s quite a sensitive person. She has no mental health issues, and is actually a very clean and immaculate person in herself which makes this situation stranger. I’ve suggested her coming to mine instead, but as she lives in a city centre and there’s more to do it makes more sense to eat/drink there. It would be a very expensive taxi home to mine which also wouldn't make sense to her.

How can I go there, and not be grossed out by the thought of eating/sleeping there? ☹ I feel like a horrible awful friend.

Also sorry to any dog lovers I may have offended!

OP posts:
Allycott · 04/08/2021 19:22

@mam0918

My view is my pets live here and you dont so I dont really care if you like how we conduct our lives with them.

Frankly its just as gross to eat with a fork thats been in someone elses mouth as it is a plate a pet licked that has been washed (no idea why you think a dishwasher would make it magically ok) In fact I have known animal and humans where I would rather share a plate with the animal than the person when it comes to hygene lol.

Simply dont go over if you dont want to but dont sit and judge her and insult her lifestyle/pets.

This. Anyone who criticized my dogs is welcome to leave and not come back. As long as my dogs are ok I could not give two fools about anyone 😁
WrongWayApricot · 04/08/2021 19:23

@EmeraldShamrock putting the tray outside defeats the purpose of a tray. But I agree, I have no idea why people keep them in kitchens. Ours is in the bathroom, next to the toilet.

LST · 04/08/2021 19:27

@EmeraldShamrock

Why do cat owners leave the litter tray indoors usually the kitchen were food is prepared. I'd leave it out the back under a parasol. The trays stink.
Because my cats don't live outside. Do you really need to ask that question?
LST · 04/08/2021 19:29

@AllAroundTheWorldYeah mine go out, but they aren't out all the time so they have a tray indoors too. It's not used very often though

AllAroundTheWorldYeah · 04/08/2021 19:30

Letting pets lick leftover food off plates etc is pretty normal isn't it? This survey found 40% of dog owners allow it:
www.havahart.com/canine-confessions

Crabbyboot · 04/08/2021 19:33

@EmeraldShamrock

Why do cat owners leave the litter tray indoors usually the kitchen were food is prepared. I'd leave it out the back under a parasol. The trays stink.
Trays don't stink if you keep on top of things. I remove mess as soon as I see it and don't let it build up. My litter tray is hidden in the corner of my lounge and friends have commented they didn't realise I had one.
Hopeisallineed · 04/08/2021 19:36

Why are people so defensive on here? Land what have cat litter trays got to do with anything? 🙄

LST · 04/08/2021 19:38

@Hopeisallineed

Why are people so defensive on here? Land what have cat litter trays got to do with anything? 🙄
Every dog thread gets turned round to cats. Happens on every single dog thread.
Hopeisallineed · 04/08/2021 19:42

It’s ridiculous and nothing to do with the post. 🙄

Hertsgirl10 · 04/08/2021 19:50

@lancaster

So her flat smells of dog and she lets her dog eat leftovers. Not really seeing the major issue here.
Did you read the same post as me?

Totally grim.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/08/2021 19:55

Just tell her that her place stinks and you don’t wanna sleep on dog period ... better than her thinking it’s normal, give her a little zoflora basket.

Can’t believe so many people on here are happy to live like that 😂 You dog people are weird.

And a dog having a designated area is good for them so they can have their own space.

They’re actually animals not little babies.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/08/2021 20:01

@Scoobydoobydo

How do you know that she doesn't want to come to your house cos it stinks of your old dog?
I’d say it’s pretty unlikely considering shes been sleeping in her dogs period blood weeks after the season ended. Don’t sound like her standards are that high.
phishy · 04/08/2021 20:03

Did OP ever come back? Disappearing OPs are a pain.

Martz · 04/08/2021 20:09

I have a dog that’s very old and I’m so paranoid it’s smelly, or that my house is smelly. I will often ask my friends and family- “can you smell the dog?”.They’ll also ask me the same when I’m over at theirs about their pets. I’d rather be told the truth, then I can do something about it as it’s an unpleasant smell for visitors otherwise and I’d be mortified if my friends or family didn’t want to come over because I hadn’t addressed an odour issue. Perhaps you could start doing this with your friend? Maybe make a point of asking her if she can smell the dog when she’s over at your place, and she might start to do the same when you go to her flat? Then you can be honest as she’s invited you to tell her?

Or you could say- ah (insert dogs name) makes your home smell too? My dog does the same with my house, I’ve started using (insert preferred odour eliminator) and it’s helped with the smell massively…. That way I suppose it will feel less like you’re judging her as you’re saying you have the same issue? Or just say you’re too warm and ask her to open some windows?

Failing that; tell her you can’t find anyone to watch your dog for the evening so you need to come home?

RampantIvy · 04/08/2021 20:09

There are some rather dramatic over reactions on this thread.

I would not want to go to the friend's house, and would probably have to say why in a diplomatic way.

A lot of my friends have dogs and their houses don't smell of dog. They keep their dogs and their houses clean.

Hopeisallineed · 04/08/2021 20:13

I think that’s the crux. We had dogs, was really paranoid about the smell as dogs do stink, especially wet dogs and that’s just a fact but it can be unpleasant if not cleaning properly. Sounds like she isn’t exactly cleanly…

LST · 04/08/2021 20:15

@Hertsgirl10

Just tell her that her place stinks and you don’t wanna sleep on dog period ... better than her thinking it’s normal, give her a little zoflora basket.

Can’t believe so many people on here are happy to live like that 😂 You dog people are weird.

And a dog having a designated area is good for them so they can have their own space.

They’re actually animals not little babies.

Not all dog people. Some.

Some none dog people are grim. Some cat people are grim.

TheJade · 04/08/2021 20:22

Gosh how awks! I don’t know what i would do in this situation, but I don’t think I would like it there 🙃 can you go out for your tea instead? Might work for this occasion but what would you do for the rest of your friendship! Good luck!

LidlMiddleLover · 04/08/2021 20:29

Her home her choices Stop being such a raving snob and accept her as she is if you are a true friend

Hopeisallineed · 04/08/2021 20:31

Accepting her as a friend is completely different to being okay about sleeping on dog period.

RampantIvy · 04/08/2021 20:50

@LidlMiddleLover

Her home her choices Stop being such a raving snob and accept her as she is if you are a true friend
She isn't being a raving snob Hmm The friend is skanky. Not liking to be in a dirty and smally flat is not being a snob.
XenoBitch · 04/08/2021 20:54

Pets smell, and anyone with one is bound to have become nose blind over the years. I have a dog (a greyhound, so not known for smelling). If I have time away from home and come back.. I smell dog.
I have also had an elderly incontinent cat in the past, and no amount of litter changing, air freshener etc could hide it.

Hertsgirl10 · 04/08/2021 20:57

That’s true I don’t mean all dog owners I mean the ones saying it’s her house it’s ok but then surely they can’t expect guests to just be ok to sit in filth cos that’s how their friend decides to live.

I don’t wanna get into a dog/cat debate cos I can’t stand either 😂 I suppose at least dogs and their mingy ways are mostly kept in their own homes, unlike cats.

Thatsjustwhatithink · 04/08/2021 21:01

@Hopeisallineed

Accepting her as a friend is completely different to being okay about sleeping on dog period.
I really don't think the OP would actually sleep in the dog bed though?
Martyitsyourkids · 04/08/2021 21:16

Eat out for your evening meal, bring nibbles that you don't necessarily need plates for, crisps etc. Bring your own towel for shower in the morning. Suggest going out for brekky. Bring refillable water bottle, say you're trying to drink more water. As a 'thanks for having me' Bring some lovely smellies for the home. Other than that, it's an awkward and direct conversation 😖 maybe say you've noticed a doggy pong off your pooch and has she? Good luck!x