Boyfriend foul language to dc

[Whatname2021]

hi
Will keep brief. I am so mad and upset, feel like ending contact but would like your thoughts.

Boyfriend of 18months, recently introduced to do 7 and 5. Home after day out, kids had been little difficult in previous few days. Something happened that frightened dc as he wasn't expecting it, the act itself was not bad, just happened to frighten dc. Dc started to cry and came to me upset. Could see Boyfriend mouth Something in anger, but I didn't hear. My other dc then immediately said, Boyfriend called dc a whingey . I was absolutely floored, dc that it was about didn't hear what was said but looked at me with a Terrible upset face and asked what did Boyfriend call me? I was so angry and upset but didn't want to cause upset in front of dc.

Werr staying at Boyfriend house that evening, there was obvious tension but he didn't say anything or apologise. When kids in bed i brought it up and expressed my feelings, he said he was so sorry and it just came out, he is finding it challenging at times.

I cannot shake what feels like an attack on my dc and my instinct is to protect them. I feel like ending relationship.

What would be your thoughts? This is a one off but I have sensed difficulty/ strain for a while

You have two choices.

You dc’s remember your BF called then a Whingy shit/ cunt.

Mum left him. Mum really looks after us.

Or she stayed with him.

I really is that simple, children remember this sort of thing

technically prostitute, but where I'm from can be used for cranky woman etc

At a guess. Hoor sounds like whore. Bloody disgusting thing to call a child. well, anyone but given what whore means, very disturbing.

Oh yeah!! Doh

or difficult person

I felt i did what was best in that moment to not cause them further distress

I would do anything for my children, this has sickened me to my core

I didn’t even see the name. Thought you were trying to say whingey shit. But ‘whore’?! For fucks sake. I worry deeply for your children. Cannot believe you stayed after he called your child a whore. So you didn’t have car? Get a cab. Fuming.

Definitely end it. Your children must come first, always

Where I come from they say “hoot” and it’s a horrible word to use about a child.

You need to dump him. It’s a sign of worse to come.

He called a 5 year old a whingey whore? What?! Does he know what a whore is?!

They say “hoor” I mean.

Then dump him.

Whore I'm assuming.

If it was me I'd have hired a taxi, got public transport and walked out and made it clear to my child that they came first and that it is not OK for anyone to talk to them like that. If I'd stayed as you did I would have left at the first possible opportunity told him it was over and never conta t them again.

@Whatname2021

technically prostitute, but where I'm from can be used for cranky woman etc

So he’s sexist as well. He’s not a catch and you and your children can do better. It’s lonely being a single, but it’s not worth your and your child mental health.

@Whatname2021

I felt i did what was best in that moment to not cause them further distress

I would do anything for my children, this has sickened me to my core

Apart from dump a man who verbally abuses them?

Wow.

My god. You’ve gone from prostitute/whore to - difficult person

Get some counselling to work out why you minimise abusive behaviour and why what happened in your childhood that makes you think this is ok.

Often it’s not the language that’s used it’s the way it’s said, it was obviously said with anger. To a child. Who doesn’t even know your children, or I should say, who your CHILDREN DONT KNOW

I hope this explains better

Hoor
Informal Irish for a prostitute; a whore. It’s used for both male and female whose behavior is appalling or sometimes even illegal.

Example Sentence: “The crafty hoor! He gets away with stealing all the time.”

I’d send him a very simple text saying:

Your behaviour and use of Language towards my children is unacceptable and is not something I’m prepared to bring into our lives. Please don’t contact me again.

And block him.

My guess is this sort of behaviour isn’t isolated.

He called a child a whore? I’d end it, boyfriend isn’t mature enough or good enough for you and your children, you’re only 18 months in and he’s only recently met the kids so should be on his best behaviour right now, therefore he’s only going to get worse as time goes on. How long before he starts casually name calling you all?

I do understand where you’re coming from with boundary issues- abusive relationships skew those a lot.

I’ve been married 20 years and we have 4 children. H is very sweary. If he swore at me or the kids we’d be done.

That's VERY concerning behaviour, please leave him! No one should EVER say that about a child. Your children need to come first!

@Whatname2021

I felt i did what was best in that moment to not cause them further distress

I would do anything for my children, this has sickened me to my core

Please put them first, they will remember the event and they will also remember what you did after.

He's obviously struggling with appropriate behaviour around children, understanding and accepting how children are, and how they impact on their parents, and those adults around them.

Therefore, I'd say that he is not ready for a relationship with a woman with children, or their children, and therefore, you are not compatible, as you have children.

So, I think it would be best for all concerned, including your boyfriend, but most definitely yourself, and most definitely and most importantly your children, that you terminate this relationship. Before his inappropriate behaviour is repeated, or escalates.

Taliskerskye you are right. And I can recognise i minimised my ex husbands behaviour.

I bet your still at his house arent you